fandomhigh | Public Speaking [Tuesday, March 12, 2013, 1st period]

When the public speaking students arrived at the Danger Shop, they would find the space converted into what was clearly a wedding reception: '80s and '90s dance music playing, kids running between dancers, older folks staring disapprovingly at the appetizers and muttering about how Swedish meatballs had been fancy enough in their day, and a bride and groom off in a corner getting their picture taken.

"Hey there," Josh said. "Today we're going to work on what will probably be a speech each of you will have to give in your lives: the wedding toast. Granted, you will know about having to do that for at least a month in advance, but let's be honest: you're going to be writing it on the back of a napkin in the restroom waiting for the photographer to stop taking pictures of the mother of the bride. I'm going to give you ten minutes and one admittedly fake cocktail to write your speech. To make it more interesting, here's the scenario you have to work with: you haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate the person your best friend is now married to. Plus you've now had that cocktail. Cause a scene, don't, it's entirely up to you."

He smiled a little fiendishly. "Enjoy. Oh, and you press secretaries today are Loki and Sparkle, so that should be fun."

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Josh raised his hand. "If I have a hammer, and I hammer in the morning, and I hammer in evening, all over this land, how much of a case do my housemates have for justifiable homicide?"

"Well, now that would depend on how far from home 'all over this land' actually takes you, and if you're in the middle of home renovations," Sparkle replied, without missing a beat. "If you're hammering because you're a traveling carpenter, then your housemates really ought to be thankful that you're doing what it takes to get the bills paid, shouldn't they? And if not, then they're going to have to ask themselves just how badly they wanted that second bathroom with the jacuzzi, because those things just don't renovate themselves."

Edited 2013-03-12 12:20 (UTC)

"Is it hammer time? Did you stop before declaring it so?" Look, his brother was Thor. He'd heard aaaaaall the hammer jokes out there.

"What's your reaction to the rumours of a world wide glitter shortage?" And by rumour Lex meant thing he'd totally just made up.

"As you know, a deficit of sparkles would be a truly tragic thing," Sparkle deadpanned. "Which is why it's important for everybody to do their part to prevent a worldwide glitter crisis. Emptying unused glitter back into the container after arts and crafts time, working indoors away from the wind, and finding appropriate glitter substitutes - gold star stickers, for example - will all be important steps in making certain that this world is still a fabulous place for our children, and our children's children."

"Those rumors are false," Loki assured him easily. "The very thought of such a tragedy could only be the work of the fearmongers of the world."

A beat.

"Fox News, I believe they are called."

"What about the rumors about the next Pope?"

Yes, that was as specific as Maddie was getting, because she kind of wanted to see where they'd go with it. Also, she wasn't following the Pope story at all herself, so she couldn't get more specific.

"At this point in time, I can confirm without a doubt that he will, in fact, be Catholic," Sparkle replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "Rumours that he'll wear a big, funny-looking hat and will live in the Vatican can also be confirmed. Unfortunately, I'm not authorized to say whether or not he'll be installing a speaker that constantly blasts Alanis Morisette's, 'What If God Was One Of Us,' from the Popemobile as it drives down the street, but the future Pope isn't in a position to go limiting his options at this time."

"You ask a god about a pope?" Loki replied slowly. "I suppose one could not find a better source. The rumors are true, dear reporter. The next pope shall be... Catholic."

"What do you say to the allegations that cheerleading leads to natural disasters?"

"Thoroughly false, slanderous, and a case of poor journalism!" Loki, it would seem, had opinions.

"Completely true," Sparkle replied with an easy shrug of his shoulders. "Studies have proven that the Fandom High Gremlins are gonna rock you like a hurricane!"

Aw yeah.

"Which one of you would win in a fight?" Jessica asked. "And what if it were a tickle-fight instead?"

Sparkle gave a glance toward Loki. And then wrinkled his nose a little.

"He's supposed to be a god or something, right? I'm not even stupid enough to try fistfighting a god. I enjoy, like, living? Even odds on the tickle fight, though. His arms are short."

Edited 2013-03-13 00:18 (UTC)

Public Speaking [Tuesday, March 12, 2013, 1st period]

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