Public Speaking [Tuesday, March 12, 2013, 1st period]

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

When the public speaking students arrived at the Danger Shop, they would find the space converted into what was clearly a wedding reception: '80s and '90s dance music playing, kids running between dancers, older folks staring disapprovingly at the appetizers and muttering about how Swedish meatballs had been fancy enough in their day, and a bride and groom off in a corner getting their picture taken.

"Hey there," Josh said. "Today we're going to work on what will probably be a speech each of you will have to give in your lives: the wedding toast. Granted, you will know about having to do that for at least a month in advance, but let's be honest: you're going to be writing it on the back of a napkin in the restroom waiting for the photographer to stop taking pictures of the mother of the bride. I'm going to give you ten minutes and one admittedly fake cocktail to write your speech. To make it more interesting, here's the scenario you have to work with: you haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate the person your best friend is now married to. Plus you've now had that cocktail. Cause a scene, don't, it's entirely up to you."

He smiled a little fiendishly. "Enjoy. Oh, and you press secretaries today are Loki and Sparkle, so that should be fun."

Comments

Make Your Toast

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

To the bride and groom! Or groom and groom! Or bride and bride! Josh only wonders if you're going to be honest about the terrible decision your friend just made.

Re: Make Your Toast

[myownface]

"So, once upon a time, there was this really great guy. I mean, he was the best guy. Knew exactly how much crap he had to get into before he was in way over his head. He and I we got out of all the worst scrapes together, all because he knew when enough was enough."

Sparkle lingered on that thought for a moment.

"And then, somewhere around the time he met some girl, he must've taken a blow to the head..."

It... all went downhill from there. But at least Sparkle had fun ripping 'some girl' apart.

Re: Make Your Toast

[mummyspromdate.livejournal.com]

To give her something to work from, Maddie was really trying to imagine Brandon marrying someone terrible. Which was really difficult since he was only going after unattainable people and she'd probably try to slap some sense into him before it got to the wedding stage anyway, but let's go with it.

"I'm the groom's best friend," she began, "and I wish him a long and happy life, one where I'm there whenever he needs anything."

And then she downed her fake cocktail and sat down, because if you can't say anything nice, you should be really passive-aggressive instead.

Re: Make Your Toast

[arsenicmauls]

Gert wasn't sure the scenario of Nico marrying someone terrible was entirely out of the realm of possibility, given recent events, so there was that, at least.

"Since I assume I know everyone at this hypothetical party, you all probably know I think marriage is dumb," Gert began, choosing to open the speech in the worst possible way. Well, second worst. At least it wasn't 'Webster's dictionary defines.' "But Nico -- that'd be the bride, in case you're just here as someone's date -- is kickass, and since she picked this guy, we can assume that he's at least smart enough to know that he should behave and avoid getting dinosaured."

It just kind of got worse from there, really.

Re: Make Your Toast

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

Jessica stood up and lifted her glass. "Here's to good friends and all of their decisions in life. Let's all hope there was a prenup involved because it's going to be needed. Now if you'll excuse me, the open bar is still open!" Jessica said.

Re: Make Your Toast

[richieryan.livejournal.com]

Richie's toast started off blandly enough but eventually ended up as more of a "you deserve the best man, but I guess you can settle for this" sort of thing.