Gert wasn't sure the scenario of Nico marrying someone terrible was entirely out of the realm of possibility, given recent events, so there was that, at least.

"Since I assume I know everyone at this hypothetical party, you all probably know I think marriage is dumb," Gert began, choosing to open the speech in the worst possible way. Well, second worst. At least it wasn't 'Webster's dictionary defines.' "But Nico -- that'd be the bride, in case you're just here as someone's date -- is kickass, and since she picked this guy, we can assume that he's at least smart enough to know that he should behave and avoid getting dinosaured."

It just kind of got worse from there, really.