fandomhigh | Public Speaking [Tuesday, February 12, 2013, 1st period]

"Good morning, class," Josh said, coming in with a box of various gadgets and then signaling for Natalie and Lex ~~if they were there~~ to assist him with two more boxes. "If you've ever been up past your bedtimes, and you're teenagers living relatively unsupervised in a dorm, so of course you have, you've seen various products being shilled on television, aimed at the demographic apparently too stupid to boil water without help."

He waved at the boxes. "I've procured--" made Donna buy, "--a number of these products that will be handed out to you. You'll have ten minutes to examine whatever miraculous marvel you receive and then to come up with a three minute persuasive speech to tell the others in the class how it works and why they can't possibly live without one."

He also held up a bag of buzzers. "To make this more fun, the moment you've lost the audience's attention--even if it's not been three minutes--they will buzz you to sit down. Note how I don't give these out until I'm already done talking. That's called being smart, kids. You have to give back the telemarketing crap at the end of class but the buzzers are yours to keep."

The rest of the faculty will love him for that.

"Oh and...." he ran his finger down the class sheet, "Petra West, come on down. You're our next press secretary."

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Whoo hoo, Petra!

Get ready for the questions! You can, if pushed to it, throw your buzzer at a reporter.

Petra took a moment to compose herself before she faced ~~the mob~~ her classmates.

Give her your toughest questions. Or song lyrics pretending to be questions.

"Miss West, anonymous sources,-" and by anonymous, Lex meant completely made up, "-are doubting your commitment to sparkle motion. SO for the record, what is your position on glitter at dances?"

Because this line of questioning could only lead good places.

"The West administration's position on glitter at dances remains as it always has, Mr. Luthor," Petra replied. "As you well know, we support glitter and its thorough use both as a way of adding interest and sparkle to our dances and to support industry."

"In a battle of the boy bands," Josh asked, "Which guy would go straight to yanking hair? It's Justin Timberlake, right?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that Billy Merrell of hit boy band Boyz Will B Boyz resorted to such appalling methods on a tour bus outside Albuquerque in July of 2008 during a fight over the last of the Cheetos," Petra told Josh primly. "A fight which, I might add, was won by one JT Woodland." AKA yours truly. "On a purely hypothetical level, I do have my suspicions about Niall Horan." He seemed like the type.

"Ms. West, what do you say to reports that merchandise such as we've seen today serve only to distract the American public from more important issues?" Kate asked

"I believe that the great American people are capable of participating in consumer culture and stimulating our economy by making informed purchases and paying attention to the issues," Petra told Kate brightly. "It's all a matter of multitaking!"

Whether or not they actually did that was another story.

"Miss West, how would you respond to those who say that stuffed pizza is really just a casserole?" Jessica asked.

"I would say that that is a matter in which individual experience needs to be taken into consideration," Petra responded. "Some stuffed pizzas may in fact cross the line into casserole territory, and those may be the pizzas that people who hold that opinion have encountered. Therefore their opinions should not be dismissed out of hand, but they should explore other options in order to determine the truth. Other stuffed pizzas, however, are clearly pizza, not a casserole. Additionally I would add that now I want pizza."

Public Speaking [Tuesday, February 12, 2013, 1st period]

Press Secretary of the Day: Petra West [2/12]

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For the Reporters [2/12]

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Re: For the Reporters [2/12]

Re: For the Reporters [2/12]

Re: For the Reporters [2/12]

Re: For the Reporters [2/12]

Re: For the Reporters [2/12]

Re: For the Reporters [2/12]

Re: For the Reporters [2/12]