fandomhigh | Public Speaking [January 29, 2013]

"Hey there," Josh said, putting down his coffee to greet the class as they sat down. "We've covered informative speeches. Political speeches--and we'll get to your speeches on political speeches in a minute--cover a weird space between informative speeches and persuasive speeches, and if you're smarter than an eggplant, you can probably guess what our next section is. I'll write it down anyway."

He scrawled "PERSUASIVE SPEECH" on the whiteboard. "There are three ways to persuade people, using ethos: credibility, image, public reputation, perceived expertise; logos: using words and concepts to make your point; and pathos, the manipulation of emotions, feelings, and gut reactions.

"All right," Josh continued. "To use ethos, you must already be an expert in your field in the eyes of your audience. I could lecture credibly on Democratic politics, the executive branch, the legislative branch, and any number of domestic hot button issues. If I tried to convince you about anything related to nuclear physics, you'd laugh me out of the room. Basically ethos is summarized as 'I'm whoever, and I endorse this message', and trusting that who you are is enough to persuade people of how right you are. No one's gonna buy cereal on my say-so, but they might take a second look at a primary candidate I endorse."

He leaned back against his desk. "Logos is using--not shocking--logic to present your arguments. 'I believe this, here are three reasons why you should too.' It's the hardest way to persuade people, but it's also the most permanent. You're teaching people using facts, or at least your facts, since chances are the other side has facts too. Their facts just aren't as good as your facts, and if they are, what the hell are you doing arguing the other side anyway?"

He smiled. "Finally, there's pathos, or using emotions. Scare tactics go here, as do guilt trips. Most of the Republican platform for the last fifteen years has been based entirely in pathos because the Democrats have them on the ropes when it comes to, you know, facts."

He clasped his hands together. "Right then. Next week you're going to have an interactive persuasive speech exercise, and that's all I'm telling you. For now, let's here your speeches about other people's speeches. Oh, and we have two press secretaries today: Jessica Drew and--" he pointed at Maddie, "Skippy there. You're up."

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Come on down, ladies!

Maddie groaned internally. Not so much because she had to do this, because she knew that was coming, but she had to do this along with someone who was actually probably good at this sort of thing.

Jessica took a short breath, preparing herself to deliver zingers and nonsense answers that circled back on themselves. And maybe real answers.

Address your questions to one or both of our poor volunteers today!

"Yeah, this is for both of you," Josh declared. "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop? And were the orange ones the nastiest lollipops ever, or was that just me?"

"Studies show three, but we should probably update that with someone who's not an owl," Maddie said, because that study was also cheating by biting right into the Tootsie pop, which you learned was a mistake if you ever copied what you saw on TV. "As for the orange ones... it's all a matter of personal taste and I'm sure there are people who love the orange ones?"

You didn't want to offend the orange Tootsie pop people, right?

"Mmm, I don't think so," Josh said. "Do you have polling data on that?"

"We're working on that," she said, "but I've never had a problem with them, so... there's your proof."

"Frankly, this administration supports a more aggressive strategy of chomping down on the Tootsie pop in order to shock and awe the Tootsie Roll center into surrender," Jessica said.

"Miss Berry, who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?" Lex asked with a perfectly straight face, then without a pause. "Miss Drew, who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that at this time, but I assure you that the administration is looking into the rama lama ding dong issue at this very moment," Jessica said. "It's a serious situation, and the President has the poor ram's safety in mind."

"But does the president care about the safety of the lamas, Miss Drew, or the llamas for that matter?"

“Of course the President cares about the llamas, but that doesn’t mean he subscribes to this so-called ‘Llama Drama,’” Jessica said, making air quotes. “The administration is taking all reasonable precautions to make sure the llamas remain safe, but we have no indication of there being a clear and present danger to the llama population.”

"The Big Bopper." She had zero idea who that was, she'd just heard that somewhere. "Charges are pending at this time."

Unfortunately for Maddie, Lex did not who he was. "So the government has decided to prosecute the dead? Should the Caritas zombies be worried?"

Re: For the Reporters! [1/29]

mummyspromdate.livejournal.com - 2013-01-29 18:26 (UTC) - Expand

"Ms. Berry, Ms. Drew, how do you respond to concerns that gremlins are becoming endangered and the calls to classify them as such?"

"I would say that while it doesn't look like there's any shortage of them-" Because everyone mentioned them like they were some kind of plague, "we are looking into starting to look into something like a gremlin sanctuary, where they can't attack people or be attacked and everyone's happy."

"But wouldn't that keep the gremlins from fulfilling their natural inclinations?" Kate asked. "That seems like dooming them to a life of misery."

mummyspromdate.livejournal.com - 2013-01-29 18:28 (UTC) - Expand

“Those concerns are overreactions,” Jessica said. “The gremlin population has remained steady over time, it’s just that they aren’t encroaching on human spaces as often as they had in the past. We can all see that this has led to a marked decline in gremlin-on-human - as well as human-on-gremlin - violence. Furthermore, while the gremlins are certainly a… unique species, they are sentient creatures, and I’m not sure they would appreciate us labeling them the same way we do animals. That said, we are more than happy to provide them with support and a place to live in the name of continued peace, as my colleague suggests.”

"Ms. Berry, Ms. Drew," Petra began, "What would you say to those misguided individuals who claim there is such a thing as, quote, 'too much glitter,' end quote?" Lex.

“Now, now, we’re all entitled to our opinions. That said, the stance of the administration is moderation. Everything from cupcakes to exercise can be harmful if you go too far with them, so you’re not likely to see an overabundance of glitter during state events,” Jessica said. “However, it is your right as an American to use as much glitter as you’d like as long as it’s not harming anyone else.”

Edited 2013-01-30 01:23 (UTC)

"They're incorrect," said Maddie.

Yes, that was the full answer. Glitter was sparkly, everyone should love it, end of story.

"A follow up to Ms. West's question," Loki chimed in. "Would your administration ever try to take our--" Yes, that was a snicker. "--god given right to keep and bear glitter?"

"Of course not," Jessica said. "However, if your options include putting glitter on a bear, I do have to suggest that you keep the glitter where it is and leave the bear alone."

Public Speaking [January 29, 2013]

Press Secretaries of the Day: Jessica Drew & Maddie Berry

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