http://toteshammered.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] toteshammered.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2013-01-17 10:56 pm
Entry tags:

Sex Ed, Friday, Period Two

As the students entered the classroom this week, they would find much the same arrangement as last week: desks, blackboard, well-built blond teachers. If one of their teachers looked a little embarrassed, well, he covered that with professionalism before class officially started.

“Good morning, everyone,” Steve said to the students. “This week’s topic is very important, and so I’d like for you all to give it your full attention.”

Thor just looked a little bemused, if anything. The procedure at the center of today’s discussion was handled rather differently in Asgard, but he’d been around... certain Midgardians long enough to know it was something very important to their people.

“Today we’re discussing the importance of protective devices!” Thor said, holding up a wooden cylinder about six inches in length in one hand, and a square foil packet in another.

“Yes,” Steve agreed. “Now, honestly, the very best way to avoid disease or unwanted pregnancy is to not have sex, but we’re going to be realistic here. There are a lot of forms of protection you can use, but condoms--” and here he held up a foil packet of his own “--are your best readily available in this world and time period bet to prevent both disease and pregnancy. Guys, you should always use a condom. Ladies, or...other guys, you should always insist your partner uses a condom. If he won’t, don’t have sexual relations with him. Full stop.”

Thor nodded. “If magic is an option for you, then that’s of course a good idea as well, but as Mr. Rogers said, these condoms are accessible to all, and I’m given to understand the clinic in town will supply them if you ask. Now, not all of you may be familiar with how these devices function, and so we shall go over how they work, and then you and a partner will practice putting them on.”

On one of the vaguely-phallic-shaped cylinders like the one he was holding. Just in case anyone was wondering.

“Yes,” Steve agreed. It was funny, this was a lot less awkward when he didn’t have a co-teacher. “So. You open the packet like so,” and he demonstrated for the class, “being careful not to tear the condom, and then...” he trailed off, eyeing the vaguely phallic-shaped wooden cylinder. Which his co-teacher was holding. “Well, Thor will take it from here.”

Thor would apologize, except he hadn’t the faintest idea this was the sort of thing to be awkward about. Opening his own packet, he held up the condom and pinched the tip. “Make sure you pinch it, so that air does not get trapped inside. I’m told this may cause the device to burst, which will defeat its purpose. Once you’ve done that, place it like so,” he said, putting it on the demonstration cylinder, “and roll it down. If you accidentally put the condom on backwards and cannot roll it down, don’t just flip it over and try again,” he warned. “You’ll need to obtain a new one. So it’s best to carry more than one, in case of accidents.”

“Yes,” Steve agreed. “As a quick note, the latex condoms are made out of can degrade over time, which is why there is an expiration date printed on the foil packet, and you should pay attention to it, or the condom could break. If the condom is applied incorrectly, that may also lead to it breaking or slipping off, which would of course not make it a very good barrier at all. Which is why it’s so important to practice applying it correctly, and that’s what you’re going to do now.”

“So find a partner, collect your equipment, and then one of you shall hold on to the model,” Thor waved the wooden cylinder for emphasis, “while the other applies the condom. Then, you’ll switch.”

“Oh, and one more detail,” Thor added, his gaze searching out Tony if he were there. “Tony Stark, you have been appointed TA for this class. And as there is an additional position available, should anyone desire to fill it, please talk to one of us after class.”

After everyone had a chance to practice their condom-application skills, Thor held up a hand to focus everyone's attention. "There is something else I would like to mention. Once again, I am the faculty advisor for the Pride club, which focuses on the importance of feeling positive about one's sexual identity," it was a bit more nuanced than that, technically, but Thor had never quite grasped certain Midgardian hangups regarding sexual practices and identity. "And so, I urge you all to check it out at the club fair if you feel this is something that would interest you."


[ooc: heads-up that the post isn't particularly NSWF (mmm, double negatives) but DOES contain discussion on proper condom application, in case that's a concern for those who might be reading this in public/at work/out loud as a performance art piece.]
justbeingbay: ([spec] writing)

Re: Sign In!

[personal profile] justbeingbay 2013-01-18 01:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Bay Kennish
justbeingbay: ([neu] talking)

Re: Pair Up!

[personal profile] justbeingbay 2013-01-18 01:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Bay eyed the little foil packet carefully, prodding it with a forefinger and wondering if it was sad or just mildly embarrassing that she was 17 years old and had never gotten closer to one of these than in sex ed. But she'd seen the banana demonstration before and everything, so she figured she was pretty much good for a partner.

Re: Sign In!

[identity profile] ihavediabetes.livejournal.com 2013-01-18 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Stacey McGill
ext_1340895: (hug || giving comfort)

Re: OOC!

[identity profile] upmysleeve.livejournal.com 2013-01-18 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
*holds*

*feels that at some point this class should involve dildo-cozies*
nottrivial: (fact: archer)

Re: Sign In!

[personal profile] nottrivial 2013-01-18 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Alec Lightwood
nottrivial: (conv: um this news is crap)

Re: Pair Up!

[personal profile] nottrivial 2013-01-18 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
...They had to partner for this? That was horrifying. Just horrifying.

Alec was just going to stare at the table, actually. That would make this better.

Re: Sign In!

[identity profile] taseredagod.livejournal.com 2013-01-18 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Darcy Lewis

Re: Listen to that Lecture!

[identity profile] taseredagod.livejournal.com 2013-01-18 03:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Darcy would be over there, clutching at her stomach as she tried to not laugh out loud and kind of failing miserably. And possibly very thankful that there wouldn't be any mini-Thor's running around any time soon.

The hammer doesn't count.

Re: Pair Up!

[identity profile] taseredagod.livejournal.com 2013-01-18 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Darcy would stop giggling long enough to do the activity, really.

Re: Sign In!

[identity profile] new-it-girl.livejournal.com 2013-01-18 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Hanna Marin
godofxbox: ([comic] Xbox yay)

Re: Sign In!

[personal profile] godofxbox 2013-01-19 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
Alex Aaron

Re: Sign In!

[identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
Kenzi

Re: Listen to that Lecture!

[identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Cackling. So. Much. Cackling.

Also, Thor and Mr. Rogers would be getting free beer the next time they were in Caritas on Kenzi's shift.

Re: Pair Up!

[identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
"Grab a condom and help me suit this up, dude."

Right, like Kenzi was going to be able to resist that look of embarrassment.
nottrivial: (neg: SERIOUSLY?)

Re: Pair Up!

[personal profile] nottrivial 2013-01-19 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
"I'll pass," Alec said slowly, looking very much like he was only a second or two away from actively holding up his hands to repel her. It wasn't anything personal, Kenzi. He just really didn't see the point of this being a group activity. "I think that girl with the glasses is looking for a partner."

Re: Pair Up!

[identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
"Dude, how're you ever going to have sex if you can't do the prep work?"

Nothing personal, Alec. Kenzi just had to see how far she could push this.
nottrivial: (neg: da fuq?)

Re: Pair Up!

[personal profile] nottrivial 2013-01-19 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
Seriously? "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it," Alec assured her. "Thanks for your... interest?"

Re: Pair Up!

[identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
Seriously! Kenzi was now waving one of the phallic thingies in illustration. "C'mon, you think you're going to get that kind of reaction time? Someone says 'here and now, baby', and you think events slow down for practice?" She snapped a condom past him like a rubber band.

Re: Sign In!

[identity profile] craftyladyparts.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
Jessica Drew

Re: Listen to that Lecture!

[identity profile] craftyladyparts.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
Yep. The next Ultimates meeting Jess attended was going to be weird. No way around that.

Re: Pair Up!

[identity profile] craftyladyparts.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
"You know, I didn't expect to be doing this the second week of classes," Jessica said. "Need a partner?"
nottrivial: (neg: you are a stupid mundane)

Re: Pair Up!

[personal profile] nottrivial 2013-01-19 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
"Riiight," Alec said, very slowly. "Well. I'll risk it and leave you to it."

Re: Pair Up!

[identity profile] regretiz4suckas.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
"You need to stop by 'Dite's Decadent Delights," Kenzi said, voice sad. "Get some practice toys. Lotions. Also, porn!" Never let it be said she passed up the opportunity to advertise the store.

Re: Sign In!

[identity profile] 3girls-1core.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
Sholeh Zeela a Zhahar

Re: Pair Up!

[identity profile] 3girls-1core.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
Sholeh was just going to do the best impression of a tomato that she could, while eyeing both the... cylinder...and the foil packet dubiously. =You really are twelve,= Zeela cackled.

::I hate you.::

=C'mooooon, you gotta dooo it! It's for claaaaaaaaasss!=

*Zeela,* Zhahar scolded. *Be nice. Feel how embarrassed she is.*

=S'gonna be worse when she gets a partner.=
justbeingbay: ([pos] we are getting away with this!)

Re: Pair Up!

[personal profile] justbeingbay 2013-01-19 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
"It is kind of intimate for a getting-to-know you class," Bay said with a smile. "But sure, we can do this. Do you wanna hold the, um, model or do the actual unrolling first?"

[OOC: I'm afkish tonight, sp or handwave okay?]

Re: Pair Up!

[identity profile] craftyladyparts.livejournal.com 2013-01-19 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
"I guess I'll man up and hold it," Jessica joked. How awkward.

[OOC: I'm afk-ish this weekend, so handwave is fine! Hooray handwaved groupwork!]
selfhelphero: ([com] i will bzzt you)

Re: Sign In!

[personal profile] selfhelphero 2013-01-19 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
Billy Kaplan