fandomhigh | How To Not Do Things, Thursday, Period One

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how to not do things

How To Not Do Things, Thursday, Period One

April, because she was a jerk, had actually gone ahead and found a test online to give her students. Yes, this was a class about not doing things. Yes, she was testing them anyway. Yes, it was going to factor into their grades.

Fortunately, none of the students really seemed like the type to particularly care about their grades, so there was that?

There was a stack of exam papers on her desk for the students to collect. Once everyone had one, April gave a slight smirk and informed them, "You have fifteen minutes."

Except if anyone actually looked at the questions they were being asked, something might seem a little off about this test...

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Like you actually have a test.

Sparkle

Jeremy Darling

Juliet Darling

Bucky Katt

1. Read all of the following directions before you do anything.

2. Print your name, last name first then your first name and middle initial (if you have one), at the top of the page.

3. Write your most embarrassing favorite song.

4. Multiply the last four digits of your phone number by your age. Then square it. No calculators.

5. List five names of popular nail polish shades of green.

6. List all six states in the United States that begin with the letter "Q."

7. List five different types of wood used for desks. Which is the most conducive to keeping a live rat inside?

8. If you had to produce a horror movie tomorrow, what would you use as your gimmick?

9. Give four embarrassing facts about Tino [Tino's last name].

10. Who's your favorite WTFH radio person and why? Do not use the word "because."

11. What novel from classical literature would be most hilarious if zombies were added to it? Why?

12. Stand up and do four jumping jacks right now. Then sign your name here.

13. List two reasons why smiling is overrated.

14. What popular pizza topping is most disgusting? Don't say pineapple. Be original.

15. Now that you've read all of the directions as instructed in direction 1, follow directions 2 and 16 only.

16. Hand in your paper and go enjoy the freezing weather or whatever.

Edited 2012-12-13 05:07 (UTC)

Sparkle... read the first question, raised an eyebrow, and then just jumped right to the end to see if there was some kind of catch. Because you don't put that sort of thing at the start of a test without there being some trick to it, right?

And then he grinned and read the other questions anyhow before writing his name and handing in the test.

Though he did mutter as he handed his paper in, "Anchovies. Way more disgusting than pineapple."

"You pass," April muttered back. Because really. Wake up and smell the fish pizza, everyone.

Yeah, Jeremy failed at reading comrehension, so he started writing on his paper once he was on question two. He got to question four, at which point the math made him zone out for a bit. While he was coming out of his reverie, he happened to catch sight of fifteen.

Huh. Guess he didn't need to do the math after all, score!

Juliet didn't take the first instruction seriously, but -- like her brother -- she got hung up on the math in number four and decided to skip down.

She answered number five (emerald, envy, lime, neon and poison, if you were curious), but by number six she realized there had to be a trick and read to the end. She painted white-out neatly over her answers to three and five before handing the test in and going out into the day.

Edited 2012-12-13 15:19 (UTC)

Reading comprehension was never Bucky's strong suit -- heck, ANY kind of comprehension was frequently beyond his abilities. The fact that the test had a large number of questions on it just made his eyes glaze over even more. By the time he was finished reading item #1 he was completely fed up with it, and growling to himself.

He crumpled his test paper angrily and hopped up on April's desk. He might not be able to tower over her, but he could at least make it up to eye level.

"HEY, Pinkish!!!" he spat. "What kind of NOT-doing-things do you think this is, huh?!?! Maybe you need to take your own class, because YOU need to learn it!!! Do you think you can oppress me?!?! Do you think you can oppress this class?!?! Well, THINK AGAIN!!!!!!!"

April was not going to respond to that, thank you. Instead she shrugged mildly and reached for her iPod.

"Hey!" Bucky shouted, leaning closer to April's face. (And just for the record, it should be noted that his breath is absolutely horrible.) "HEEEEY!!! Don't ignore me!!! I'm TALKING TO YOU!!!!"

Still nothing.

Oh hey, there was a really really loud metal song she hadn't listened to enough times yet.

Fine. Yelling and shouting wasn't a very feline way of attracting attention, anyway.

Bucky sat down and started grabbing for the headphones' cord. If he managed to catch it he was going to immediately start gnawing on it.

Yeah, good luck with that. For someone who was ignoring him, April was doing a very good job of keeping track of his movements and keeping her stuff out of his reach.

Look, she was aware that she wasn't a great teacher? But she was pretty sure that she didn't have any obligation to listen to a bratty student yell at her and try to wreck her stuff.

She's an asshole, yes.

Test based off of this (http://www.sir-ray.com/Directions%20Test.htm), which is a test I was actually given in I think sixth grade. I remember being very confused by how many people actually fell for it. I... also went ahead and filled it out by the end, because it is seriously difficult to listen to a room full of people writing things down and not feel like that's what you're supposed to be doing too.

Anywho, up early because I'm flying home in the morning, yay!

Edited 2012-12-13 05:17 (UTC)

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How To Not Do Things, Thursday, Period One

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OOC