fandomhigh | SCIENCE! Club, Monday After Classes

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!club: science

SCIENCE! Club, Monday After Classes

When the students arrived at the Danger Shop for SCIENCE! Club today, they would find a moddable but suitably impressive lab setup, as well as their three fearless leaders in various states of enthusiasm. And also a super-intelligent computer in the walls to supervise, but she might take more effort to notice on account of not being visible.

Possibly the most enthusiastic of the bunch, though, was Topher, who was even jittering a little. Shut up.

"Hi, so, this is Science Club," he announced. "Obviously. Since there's a lab and all. And apparently we're going to do introductions before we get to the actual science, because I lost that argument, so let's go with name, grade, any scientific experience you might have, something you wanna do in this club, and then two things that are scientific facts and one fallacy. And then we're gonna guess, and if you're wrong there'll be lots of shame. So."

"There will not be any shame," Liara said. That was... the Liara equivalent of a pointed Look you were getting, Topher. Tremble. "If you get it wrong, that merely means there is another aspect of science you might wish to spend some time on with us."

She smiled, brightly, but in a wobbly way, as she wasn't sure exactly what kind of smile would be most calming for the humans. Or how to accomplish that in general. "My name is Liara T'Soni," she stated. "I am an asari, which means that I am not human-- I am alien to you. If you have any questions... well, I am here." She just hoped that wouldn't involve a lot of staring. "My personal field of interest is archaeology, but while I am here, I am at least attempting to spend some time on anthropology as well."

"I'm Evan," piped up the quieter third member of the group, fidgeting only a tiny bit as he stepped forward to address the group. "And... I'm also pretty sure there won't be any shaming here. Mistakes are just another opportunity to learn. Maybe an excuse to experiment, to find the flaw in the logic that led you to make that wrong assumption in the first place." He rocked on his toes a little, and then added. "I'm not an alien like Liara, in case you're wondering. I'm a mutant, a human with slightly different DNA from what people might consider the norm. And I'm pretty interested in biology, as a result."

"And I'm Topher," Topher chimed back in. "Not an alien or a mutant or anything awesome like that, unfortunately. But I like programming. And… brains. And explosions and robots and yeah, any of that would be good here. Also lava." He eyed Evan a little bit there. "Lava would be cool."

"No lava," Liara said, eyeing Topher. "Not outside of a controlled environment!"

"No lava," Evan agreed, eyeing Topher from the other side. "At least, not today. Today is for introductions. So... let's get started, huh?"

"Oh, and if you want to use the lab to test any fallacies, that's cool too," Topher added. Then, a little sulkily, "Except apparently if they involve lava. Then that's a no."

[Open!]

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Properly appreciate the lab setup. Go on, you know you want to.

Lex definitely appreciated the lab set-up.

Victor's fingers were twitching as he looked around the lab. The shop wasn't bad at all, but he could do more detailed experiments if he worked here regularly.

It's introductions, two scientific facts and a fallacy style!

There will be no shame if you guess wrong, darn it.

True to his word, Evan decided to stick with two facts and a lie that stayed rather firmly rooted in the realm of biology.

"As I said, I'm Evan Sabahnur, and..." He pursed his lips a little. "A virus has genes but it doesn't have an actual cell structure, a porcupine can shoot its quills up to fifteen feet when startled, and the migration of a monarch butterfly from Canada to Mexico can span up to four generations of the butterfly."

Biology from the animal kingdom, mind, because with an open laboratory and knowing Topher's inclination towards somewhat questionable morals, he wanted to steer as far from human biology as possible for today.

"I'm Victor Mancha, I'm mainly interested in engineering and computer science, I'm technically an android, and" -- okay, he rocked at random trivia. "The first computer to pass the Turing test was Joseph Weizenbaum's ELIZA in 1966, the fastest passenger trains go 300 miles an hour, and the first commercial light bulbs used a carbonized bamboo filament."

He didn't always lead with the robot thing, but he figured Topher would say it if he didn't.

"Hey, you mentioned the robot thing!" Topher was predictable. "And is it ELIZA? I bet it's ELIZA."

"I figure it'll come up in here one way or the other," Victor said dryly. "And no, ELIZA's real. But high-speed trains top out around 220 mph."

"Oh." WOE. "...I think I got distracted thinking about robot...ness and picked the AI one."

That was pretty much what happened, yeah.

"So that doesn't count."

Just in case anyone was keeping score. Or something.

"Of course not," Victor agreed loyally, because it wasn't like anybody was keeping score. "You should play with ELIZA sometime, though. There are still simulators of her online. Basically she's programmed to act like a shrink, so people don't think it's weird she only asks questions."

"Oooh." And out came Topher's phone! "I should do that while everyone else does their introductions."

Or you could listen to the introductions, Topher. Maybe.

Victor eyed him. "If you wait until you get back to your room you'd probably have an easier time trying to look at the code," he pointed out. "I mean, you could probably do your own version in an afternoon, but it's not bad for something that was probably originally programmed using punch cards."

"Oh, you meant play with the code!" Wow, Topher. Wow. "I was just going to ask it questions, but dude, playing with the code would be way better. You... are good at ideas today!"

That really wasn't that new of a development, but okay.

"Wanna help?"

Victor took a minute to consider it. Then: "Sure, yeah."

It wasn't like he had some huge stack of other things to do, and he was curious to see Topher at work on something not involving himself.

"Awesome," Topher declared. Victor seemed like the more knowledgable one in this situation, see, so of course Topher was going to ask for his ~~help~~ ~~collaboration~~ help. "Like in a couple hours? I should probably do some... administrative... club things first."

He just wanted to play in the lab. Maybe say hi to GLaDOS. Important things like that.

"I'm sure you guys have a lot of stuff to do," Victor said, and he wasn't even being sarcastic. "I'll stop by later, sure."

In case you want to test any of those fallacies or any possible wrong guesses, the Danger Shop lab will provide anything you need in a safe environment!

... So this is really mostly your excuse to blow things up. We know how it is.

When they ping in, for SCIENCE!

Evan was there, and was kind of itching to see if there was anything that he could do to help the members of the club in their scientific pursuits.

There had to be something, right?

Had to be!

Liara was there, rubbing her hands together and watching the proceedings with wide open eyes.

She wasn't sure about the protocol here, so she stayed towards the back.

Topher was still bouncing a bit. Science, guys! Science! And science around Lip Guy and Blue Girl, which was even better!

He was totally in his element today, yes.

When she pings in, for SCIENCE!

The advisor was here. Really. See that security camera up in the corner?

You were being observed, of course. FOR SCIENCE. ~~You monster.~~

"Hi," Topher told the security camera cheerily. "Having a good day?"

"All of you are still here," GLaDOS replied in a voice that came from a conveniently localized speaker and didn't exactly sound enthusiastic. "That pretty much covers it."

Stupid non-working neurotoxin emitters.

Oh. Hmm.

"Well," Topher said, swinging his arms a bit. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

"Really? Because I don't think you are." Yes, that's rich, GLaDOS. Accuse people of lying. "And you're not even doing any research right now while you stand there, opening your mouth and expelling carbon dioxide into the atmosphere for the sake of making funny sounds. Ugh. You humans and your lack of multitasking."

"Heeey," Topher objected. "What happened to 'he's awesome 'cause he loves to test'?" That was some pretty liberal paraphrasing there, Topher. "Maybe right now I'm testing the effects on your disposition while conversing with your favorite student."

This was unlikely.

"Oh, did I say 'awesome?'" asked GLaDOS, and paused.

Long enough for a wah-wah-wah sad trombone sound effect to play.

"No, no, I don't think I did. Maybe we should test to find out if you have some kind of hearing problem?"

GLaDOS. STOP IT.

"Paraphrasing," Topher informed her. Really, his lack of fear or daunted-ness about having this conversation said terrible things about his sense of self-preservation. Which he also did not have. "But would the hearing problem tests involve portals?"

"Would you participate in the tests if they did?"

Topher, think very carefully about your answer here.

Topher did indeed give that a reasonable amount of thought.

"Would they take place here at school?"

Good thing GLaDOS didn't actually have a face, or she'd be smirking about how everyone kept thinking this place was a school. Honestly.

". . . of course it would be on premises. Where else?"

Of course, whatever was he thinking? Of course this was just another perfectly ordinary Aperture testing center. Silly Topher.

"Like, some creepy Aperture lab without any of the safety controls or clean equipment of the Danger Shop," Topher hazarded. Since he did occasionally use his brain. "With, like. Tetanus on the walls."

Because there was absolutely nothing sinister about anything Aperture ever did. Ever.

"I don't think we've used anything as simplistic as tetanus since the 1960's," GLaDOS said dryly. "But I can come up with something much more . . . evolved."

"I was hoping for maybe a disease-free sort of situation?" Topher countered. "And then I'd be all over that. Seriously, say the word, I'd do testing, like, three hours a day."

TOPHER. NO.

"Wow. That's dedication."

Condescending, or actually impressed? You decide.

"The kind of dedication that means, oh . . . just hypothetically . . . you'd be perfectly happy practically living in a lab 24/7?"

Topher. Look at your life. Look at your choices.

Topher looked very excited at that. "Is that an option?" he asked eagerly. "That's basically my life goal. FYI."

Mwahahahahahahahahaha.

"Oh, good." GLaDOS might've sounded just a touch condescending about that, but she was also distinctly pleased. "I don't hear that nearly often enough. It's really a shame about your short lifespans, though."

It'd be less of a shame if you didn't keep trying to help that 'short' thing along, GLaDOS. Just saying.

"Isn't it, though?" So sad. So very sad. "Oh well. Long as we get some good science in there first, it's still a success, am I right?"

No, Topher. You weren't. Seek help.

Clarification: seek help from someone not GLaDOS, because:

"Obviously." Because she didn't say things like 'duh,' but the implication was there. "That's the only measurement that matters. How much all of you get to contribute in the name of science."

As guinea pigs, if you asked her, but see if she bothered to clarify that.

SCIENCE!!!!1!!1!!!!113!!

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SCIENCE! Club, Monday After Classes

Arrive/Mingle!

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Activity!

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The Lab!

Talk to the Leaders!

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Talk to GLaDOS!

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OOC!