Ronan Nolan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not_in_the_book) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2012-08-07 03:53 pm
not_in_the_book) wrote in fandomhigh2012-08-07 03:53 pm
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Sex Ed [Tuesday 07/08]
Ronan was laughing a little as the class came in today. "So, really," he opened with, "I hope you all enjoyed the little diversion last week.
"Seriously, if you don't believe in gremlins? Believe."
He laughed at himself, shaking his head. "So anyway, this week," Ronan said, "we're going to discuss something much more about relationships than strictly about sex -- the politics and dynamics of non-monogamy and how it contrasts with monogamous relationships.
"Polyamory," he continued, "is a very convenient word -- mixed roots, with 'poly' from the Greek, meaning many, and 'amory' from the Latin 'amor', meaning love. It's an umbrella term that covers a variety of different relationship practices. At their core, however, these practices are essentially the same thing: ethical, responsible, and consensual non-monogamy. This covers everything from open relationships where the participants are free to partner with anyone they wish outside of the relationship, to polyfi, or polyamorous fidelity, where more than two people are collectively involved in a committed relationship with no partnering with anyone outside that relationship."
Ronan leaned back on his desk casually. "I'm using 'partner' here very specifically," he added, "to convey the idea that it may be a partnership of emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, or both, in both equal or inequal measure."
He stood up and turned to the board, jotting down a few notes for students to take down if they wished. "The takeaway points here are this: communication and honesty are key to making everything work, and 'everyone does it differently' -- which, if I may be so bold, are equally applicable to monogamy. Communication and honesty are important primarily because, by keeping everyone involved on the same page, no misunderstandings arise that result in jealousy or anger -- not to say that people cannot become jealous or angry in poly relationships, but if you're being honest about everything, at least those aren't arising for no reason, and they don't fester if they get talked about. Communication is also important because, as I say, everyone does it differently; talking about what you expect in a relationship, where you want to it go, how that evolves as the relationship continues? That helps keep everything stable, and helps figure out where you and the partner or partners involved are coming from in relation to you.
"But the biggest point I want to make is that polyamory and monogamy are equally valid," Ronan finished. "Some people are built for one, the other, or both, and that's okay. People get into many different kinds of relationships for many different reasons, the same way they make lots of other choices in their lives.
"Any questions?"
[Wait for OCD is up!]
"Seriously, if you don't believe in gremlins? Believe."
He laughed at himself, shaking his head. "So anyway, this week," Ronan said, "we're going to discuss something much more about relationships than strictly about sex -- the politics and dynamics of non-monogamy and how it contrasts with monogamous relationships.
"Polyamory," he continued, "is a very convenient word -- mixed roots, with 'poly' from the Greek, meaning many, and 'amory' from the Latin 'amor', meaning love. It's an umbrella term that covers a variety of different relationship practices. At their core, however, these practices are essentially the same thing: ethical, responsible, and consensual non-monogamy. This covers everything from open relationships where the participants are free to partner with anyone they wish outside of the relationship, to polyfi, or polyamorous fidelity, where more than two people are collectively involved in a committed relationship with no partnering with anyone outside that relationship."
Ronan leaned back on his desk casually. "I'm using 'partner' here very specifically," he added, "to convey the idea that it may be a partnership of emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, or both, in both equal or inequal measure."
He stood up and turned to the board, jotting down a few notes for students to take down if they wished. "The takeaway points here are this: communication and honesty are key to making everything work, and 'everyone does it differently' -- which, if I may be so bold, are equally applicable to monogamy. Communication and honesty are important primarily because, by keeping everyone involved on the same page, no misunderstandings arise that result in jealousy or anger -- not to say that people cannot become jealous or angry in poly relationships, but if you're being honest about everything, at least those aren't arising for no reason, and they don't fester if they get talked about. Communication is also important because, as I say, everyone does it differently; talking about what you expect in a relationship, where you want to it go, how that evolves as the relationship continues? That helps keep everything stable, and helps figure out where you and the partner or partners involved are coming from in relation to you.
"But the biggest point I want to make is that polyamory and monogamy are equally valid," Ronan finished. "Some people are built for one, the other, or both, and that's okay. People get into many different kinds of relationships for many different reasons, the same way they make lots of other choices in their lives.
"Any questions?"
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He was deciding that he liked Ronan's classes a little more with each passing week.
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Poly-anything in Perivale was Mum's latest bloke turning out to have a wife in Shepherd's Bush, or the way nobody in her gang of friends would ever really admit they were dating each other to start with, because that would be admitting it mattered when he blew you off at lunch and your best mate saw him snogging some other girl at the back of the disco.
Not that Ace had, cough. Any experience there.
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