fandomhigh | Newbie Shuttle, Portalocity Terminal, BWI {Saturday Morning Fandom Time}

Miriam didn't much care if anyone saw that she was being dropped off at the terminal by the Baltimore Five-O, but she did roll her eyes at Officer Jackass for muttering something about dumping out the trash when he opened the back seat door so she could slide out. For a moment she was tempted to touch him to see if he had a nice painful death, but instead it was Officer Friendly sticking his hand into hers and slipping her several $20 bills and telling her this was her chance to turn her life around, don't mess it up, blah blah blah.

"Flying sucks," she said casually. She'd gotten good at not letting it show when she saw someone's death flash in her mind. "Next time you want a vacation, you should drive cross-country. It's a lot more relaxing. Trust me." He gave her a confused look and shrugged, then patted her on the shoulder one last time before climbing back into the police car.

The first thing she dug out of her messenger bag were her gloves even though it was way too fucking hot for them. There was no way in hell she was going to tell the cops just why she wanted them on or they'd toss her in the loony bin. The second thing was her cigarettes she could suck down some sweet nicotine before trying to find the waiting area for the shuttle to this boarding school. The glittery "Fandom High" sign made that easy enough. She claimed a seat and chewed on a thumbnail as she looked around to see who else was heading to this place. She gave it three days before she snuck out and hit the road again.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Tried to claim I had Tourette's once, but that was only so I could say mother fucker all the time," Miriam said cheerfully.

Once more, Stannis didn't really understand half of that, but he was a sailor, so he did understand the other half. "Is such vulgar talk common of House Black, Miriam?" he asked. "Or is it simply that you cannot grasp a sense of decency?"

"My mother'd like to wash my mouth out with soap if she heard me, but I kind of like being able to say what's on my mind," Miriam said. "And me and decency parted on bad terms a long time ago. Messy breakup."

Stannis's lip curled slightly at the thought of one's mouth being washed out with soap, and he found the threat to be a rather effective one. "Perhaps you should reconsider such a separation," he advised. "Vulgarity may seem like an attractive mistress at first, but she will soon reveal herself to be as virtuous as a port landing whore, whose bedfellows are craven and crass."

Miriam burst out laughing. "Who talks like that?" she said.

She leered at Stannis. "The best bedfellows are the crass ones, let me tell you," she said. "More imagination."

And Stannis met Miriam's leer with a hardened glare. "I would expect that to come from someone so crass herself," he said.

"I'd argue, but you're absolutely right," Miriam smirked. "If you're looking for a pretty pretty princess to rescue from a tower, I am so not your girl."

Stannis started to grind his teeth again. "The only thing I imagine you would need rescuing from," he stated, "is yourself, and I would not waste my time and energy on lost causes."

"Better men than you have tried and failed," Miriam shrugged. "But let me let you in on a secret - I need rescuing, I rescue myself. Damsel in distress was never my thing."

She winked at Stannis. "Lighten up, Francis. You'll live longer."

"It's Stannis," he corrected, glowering at the wink and noting to himself that if all the women from this land were harridans like Miriam, that he should be sure to try to keep Robert as far, far away from this place as he could, "and, if I were you --praise the Seven that I'm not--I would get started on that rescuing. It appears as though you have quite a great deal of work ahead of you, and probably much less time to do it in."

Oh, but she and Robert would probably get along awesomely!

"You're right, I've got a lot more to cross off the purity test," she said. "You ever want to bring your score down from 100%, give me a call. It's a small island, isn't it? I'm sure we'll bump into each other from time to time."

Maybe they'd be roommates, Stannis! WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT?

He would rather be held siege in his own castle and forced to eat cats.

"I shall pray to the Seven that we do not."

"You're a real charmer, Larp Boy," Miriam said, pursing her lips and blowing him a kiss. "Nice meeting you, too."

Stannis Baratheon was an expert glarer, but even he could not seem to glare at Miriam hard enough at that moment.

"The feeling," he said, taking in a deep breath and pointedly turning away to walk over to the other side of the waiting area, "is assuredly not mutual."

Newbie Shuttle, Portalocity Terminal, BWI {Saturday Morning Fandom Time}

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