fandomhigh | Fandom High Welcome Picnic, Front Lawn of the School, All Day: Part I

When the planning for the new semester had started, no one had really noticed that the welcome picnic would coincide with Cinco de Mayo. When the food arrived and all of it, including the desserts, had somehow ended up as a variety of Mexican food, well, it was a little too late to change anything.

Hopefully, the wandering mariachi band that had shown up wouldn't throw anyone either. It was a festive day of new arrivals, after all.

The blue and gold tables and chairs had been set out, along with nametags and the lists of Big and Little Siblings, and rooms and roommates for the new students. Assuming the shuttle arrived with all of the students and teachers in one piece, everything was set for the picnic to begin!

[OCD is up, have at it! This is part one of the picnic, specifically for meeting siblings, roommates, and teachers. The rest of the picnic is happening here and here, in an effort to keep browsers from breaking for as long as possible. Since it's outside, the picnic is open to all students, teachers, and townies!]

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"Deadpool," he corrected. "I'm the Vice Principal here, so... welcome to crazy land of crazy."

"You're the Vice Principal?" Okay, this place had to be slightly more interesting than expected, if this was how they made the faculty dress. Or, worse, if they let humans with obvious head injuries be Vice Principal.

Still, the crowd was shockingly high on humanoids and really low on just about everything else.

"Maybe you can tell me what's going on here," she said, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket. It was really good for Deadpool's line of sight that she hadn't shoved that one into her cleavage, wasn't it? "There's been some kind of paperwork error. Your school assigned me a 'teaching buddy,' but I'm just a new shopclerk in town."

And, just, for the record, "That nickname still puts you in the running for superhero or Mexican wrestler, you know."

Heh. Boobies.

"Aaaaand you have a class as well. I'm a mercenary. It's a thing."

"I've never killed for money before," Callie said. She preferred her murder sprees to be for pleasure, not obligation. Of course, if the store didn't work out ...

"Wait, a class?" she asked. "I'm going to kill Daddy. He didn't say anything about teaching. Is it something interesting? Flaying 101? Demonology? The History of Jimmy Choo?"

Do not judge her, Deadpool.

"I'm pretty sure it's about diversity. Which makes you the buzzkill of the school, so..."

He shrugged.

"I'm just sayin'."

"What!?"

Oh, this was fun. Don't mind the glowy fire eyes. They were just her way of getting to know you!

"I come the whole way here and I have to teach teenagers some stupid bleeding-heart class about DOI bullshit and the Treaty of Tolerance?!"

Maybe she could just set the school on fire, lie to her dad and say there was no interdimensional nexus, and go home?

Deadpool did the wise thing and covered his crotch. Because those bits were more important. "I'm sure the kids will be so happy to learn if you have glowy eyes at them!"

Callie pulled herself together quite rapidly as a thought occurred to her.

"What's the max/min on students who absolutely need to survive the class?" she said.

That took a little too much consideration from Deadpool on that. "Sadly, we can't kill anyone. People get upset, and then I have to sleep on the couch."

Yeah, Callie didn't want to fuck up anyone's sex life, so that was a pretty good argument.

"Psychological torment?" she asked. "I mean, diversity covers a lot of ground. Maybe I explain the best way to profit off cloning. Or tell everyone they're doomed what with the End of Days coming up soon, and watch them all cry."

Provided she bothered to show up.

"You know, I think people would actually believe most of that," Deadpool replied. "Though cloning isn't cool. It ends in tears and portals to the future."

"I still think it could help us win that bowling tournament," Callie said, frowning to herself. "I'll mention those in the 'cons' column. You have time-travel here?"

Either the demons didn't possess that technology, or Daddy was holding out on her. Either was likely.

"From time to time," Deadpool replied cheerfully. "The mayor is from an Apocalyptic timeline where mutants subjugate humans and people drink milk in bars instead of booze."

"Mutants," Callie mused. "Okay, I didn't see that one coming. You're sure they're not demon-human hybrids, or werewolves or anything?"

No, the demons wouldn't disallow booze. Who in their right mind outlawed alcohol!?

"Well, maybe that sister of Colossus, but that's about it." A beat. "Wait, was Nightcrawler retconned? Oh, who cares. Only two, max."

Ah, retcons. One had turned her from Rosemary's Baby into the by-product of a Vegas fling. Not that she knew that, obviously.

"Does this have anything to do with the Mayans?" she asked. "2012?"

She didn't know that the Mayans were mutants, but she didn't know they weren't, either. It'd explain a lot.

Edited 2012-05-06 00:20 (UTC)

Fandom High Welcome Picnic, Front Lawn of the School, All Day: Part I

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