fandomhigh | Superheroing 101, Thursday, Period 4

There was no pub this week, as much as that saddened Electroclash. There was only a normal classroom, with a projector at the front, and their teacher back in her uniform.

"Let me tell you a little story about my friend Don. Some of you probably met a simulated version of him last week – black clothes, Spanish, very gay? That one." And Don... probably wouldn't have objected to that description. "Now, Don –– well, Timebomb, as we call him, once had a hero mission at the Armenian embassy in London. And it didn't go quite as planned. There were a few casualties, shit like that, but Don thought it went all right, all things considered. And then some chump who reviewed it for the next issue of New Power Express gave Don and the whole thing a right trashing, calling it an utter disappointment in entertainment value and heroics, and a mediocre performance."

A beat went by.

"Don went over to his house and carved the words 'mediocre performance' into his forehead with a wire coat hanger." Yes. "So. Today our topic is bad reviews. Sometimes you get them, mostly because some journos are miserable gits who make themselves feel better by saying you have issues with your temper." Ahem. "And that's a further cape problem: how to deal with poor reviews in a manner that doesn't do further damage to your public image. While I do believe Don's mercenary career got a boost from that incident, you're supposed to be learning to do something else. So, I'm gonna show you an example review and then you're gonna discuss what the proper way to react to something like that would be, if you happened to be the target. |Laptop, show shit review.|"

The following got projected on the screen up front:

SKIRMISH REVIEW
LADYTROUBLE VS POWERPIXIE
★☆☆☆☆
Essentially it was Mean Girls with masks. I could go on, but you know what – why bother? Some b-list college girls beat up another girl, none of whom will ever mean anything to continuity or canon. Save your time and skip straight to Excelsor vs. Slicefist.

... The sudden glare she gave the computer could be explained by the fact that she'd specifically wanted to show one of Alex's poor reviews (preferably something where he'd lit shit on fire) but apparently the SPA were having their own fun at her expense. She glowered. "Right," she grumbled. "Anyway. Something glowing like this comes your way. How do you react? How should you react?"

It should be noted that while Electroclash found Timebomb's reaction a little over the top, she still thought punching the reviewer in the face was a valid option.

[ocd up!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Like you just got a bad review.

Raven

Lex Luthor

Kate Daniels

Elphaba Thropp

Billy Kaplan

Karla

Sam LaCroix

Tony Stark

Shane Gooseman

Butters Stotch

Squall Leonhart

Or don't. You should know by now that Electroclash doesn't care.

Talk about how you think you'd react to a bad review, and how you should react.

Or, alternatively: express your confusion as to why a superhero's actions are getting reviewed in the first place, and what the hell does "never meaning anything to canon or continuity" mean?

"...I do not help others for the sake of a good review," Raven said, puzzled by this whole lecture and feeling bad for poor Don. "I do not care what others have to say."

Well, Pride would care. And Pride might demon out and eat the reviewer.

Maybe one day Electroclash would notice that superheroing didn't work the same here as back home. But today was not that day, alas.

"Mm, I don't even read my reviews anymore." Liiiies. "But they affect your image. Don't you care about that?"

"I would not wish people to be deceived about my intentions or my gifts if these reviews were to cast falsehoods upon me," Raven said. "But I would know them to be lies, and I would still continue to help and heal others regardless."

In another world, the Teen Titans were often accused of destroying landmarks and attracting trouble to New York, but that Raven had never paid them much attention, either.

Electroclash held back on asking whether Raven seriously spoke like that all the time. She was also lucky it didn't make her feel self-conscious about her careless Midlands accent.

"But how would you make your living? This is a job, you know."

And not a particularly high-paying one, unless you attracted sponsors. For which you needed good publicity.

She did! Contractions clearly were evil.

"I would never expect to be paid for healing someone," Raven said. "That would be wrong. I would have to find some other mundane way to earn money."

"Buy out the paper, take it from there." Lex maaaaybe didn't have too much respect for journalists.

That was okay, neither did Electroclash.

Stil, she clicked her tongue. "But what is the paper is owned by someone who wants to keep it as part of their sleazy media empire?"

Why yes, New Power Express was totally owned by a version of Rupert Murdoch.

Pfft, not even old Rupes could compare to Lionel.

"Then you just have to be a bit more subtle. A hostile takeover here, some disinformation there."

"Yes," Electroclash rasped, raising an eyebrow. "But if you have the money to do that, why the fuck would you care about the reviews in the first place?"

This was largely an economical question for her, yes.

"Because perception is power. Lot of reporters are scum." He'd found out about his mom's death from the paparazzi, he was entitled to be cynical. "But they're scum who get listened to. Just because I don't care about what they say, doesn't mean it mightn't be beneficial to me at some point."

Electroclash shrugged at that. "Guess so." It just sounded like a lot of effort. But then that might have been one of the factors contributing to her failure to become a superhero of the same kind of standing as her parents. "Better than carving anything on them in any case."

"I... don't understand," Squall answered, peering up at the screen like it would somehow make more sense it he concentrated harder. "That looks like a movie review, not a performance review. If that's how New Power Express handles post-mission analysis, I'd suggest finding another agency to work for."

Who doesn't have too much of a reason to be mortified this week, does he?

Well, not as much as last week, anyway.

Billy was much less mortified this week, especially since he actually kind of agreed with Electroclash that reporters could be terrible people sometimes. So, maybe he was a little mortified that there was something on which they could see eye to eye.

She'll be making an annoyed call to the SPA once this class is over.

Meh.

Also, review lifted No Heroics episode two, because I wasn't feeling that creative, and it amuses me.

Superheroing 101, Thursday, Period 4

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