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fandomhigh2012-03-14 07:03 pm
scary-jeff.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2012-03-14 07:03 pm
Entry tags:
The Oh God It's Murdock Fun Hour, Wednesday
"Hello everyone!"
Today, the Danger Shop contained tables. Many, many tables. Tables with loads of glasses on them.
And only Jeff.
"Today, I'd like to teach you all about a terrible threat to our persons," Jeff said, sounding intensely. "The worst danger any man - or woman - can face. Well, one of the worst ones. But a terrible, terrible thing! Something that could forever destroy your social life!"
He produced one large beer glass. "The Giggle Loop!" he proclaimed.
He put the glass down on the table.
"...Now, be forewarned," he said. "For the moment that you learn about the Giggle Loop-- well, it can never be unlearned! From now on, the Giggle Loop is not something you wander into blindly, but knowing of it, you will find it everywhere on your path!"
He pointed at the glass. "Imagine, if you will, a silence," he said. "Maybe there's some kind of ceremony. Maybe someone's getting married. Maybe your girlfriend's mother has just shown up right in the middle of intimate squelching, and you're all caught in this terrible, terrible cone of nothing. That... is when the Giggle Loop sets in."
He turned over the glass. "You think, the worst, most terrible thing I could do right now is laugh," he continued, intensely. "And that very thought is what drives you to laugh--" He held up a finger, "...Almost! You catch it! You're relieved! You didn't laugh! And then... then you start thinking about how terrible it would have been if that laugh had gotten out."
He picked up a second glass. "And so you nearly laugh again, but this time, it's a worse laugh. A bigger one." He put the glass down on top of the first. "But again, you fight it-- and win. Oh good, you think. I fought the bigger laugh and walked out alive! How terrible would it be if that laugh had won?!"
The third glass came down with an audible clink. "Suddenly, you're on the verge of a huge laugh! A Greek God of a laugh! A laugh that could send the Eiffel Tower toppling! Now you're struggling, you're really struggling--" Fourth glass, "But it's just there. And then your body joins in! You are physically fighting the laugh! And while this is happening, everyone else around you is looking really serious, and what do you think? What do you think?"
He jumped away from the stack.
"YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY!"
Indeed.
He aimed his eyes at the class. "Make your giggle loops," he said, sounding hoarse all of a sudden. "Realize the enemy that waits for us in the deepest, darkest corners of our one minute silences. Do it... now."
Today, the Danger Shop contained tables. Many, many tables. Tables with loads of glasses on them.
And only Jeff.
"Today, I'd like to teach you all about a terrible threat to our persons," Jeff said, sounding intensely. "The worst danger any man - or woman - can face. Well, one of the worst ones. But a terrible, terrible thing! Something that could forever destroy your social life!"
He produced one large beer glass. "The Giggle Loop!" he proclaimed.
He put the glass down on the table.
"...Now, be forewarned," he said. "For the moment that you learn about the Giggle Loop-- well, it can never be unlearned! From now on, the Giggle Loop is not something you wander into blindly, but knowing of it, you will find it everywhere on your path!"
He pointed at the glass. "Imagine, if you will, a silence," he said. "Maybe there's some kind of ceremony. Maybe someone's getting married. Maybe your girlfriend's mother has just shown up right in the middle of intimate squelching, and you're all caught in this terrible, terrible cone of nothing. That... is when the Giggle Loop sets in."
He turned over the glass. "You think, the worst, most terrible thing I could do right now is laugh," he continued, intensely. "And that very thought is what drives you to laugh--" He held up a finger, "...Almost! You catch it! You're relieved! You didn't laugh! And then... then you start thinking about how terrible it would have been if that laugh had gotten out."
He picked up a second glass. "And so you nearly laugh again, but this time, it's a worse laugh. A bigger one." He put the glass down on top of the first. "But again, you fight it-- and win. Oh good, you think. I fought the bigger laugh and walked out alive! How terrible would it be if that laugh had won?!"
The third glass came down with an audible clink. "Suddenly, you're on the verge of a huge laugh! A Greek God of a laugh! A laugh that could send the Eiffel Tower toppling! Now you're struggling, you're really struggling--" Fourth glass, "But it's just there. And then your body joins in! You are physically fighting the laugh! And while this is happening, everyone else around you is looking really serious, and what do you think? What do you think?"
He jumped away from the stack.
"YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY!"
Indeed.
He aimed his eyes at the class. "Make your giggle loops," he said, sounding hoarse all of a sudden. "Realize the enemy that waits for us in the deepest, darkest corners of our one minute silences. Do it... now."