fandomhigh | Shop Class: [2/8]

Upon entering the Danger Shop, the students will find that it has been turned into a movie theater, complete with comfy seating, popcorn and soda.

"Good Morning class. As some of you may have noticed, I was out of town last Wednesday doing some work for my former employer. Somehow that... uh... "work" was taped ~~using pirate radio technology~~ and mistakenly broadcast during a major sporting event over the weekend. Despite the breach in security, I thought you might like to see how one one can escape a dangerous situation by using the most commonplace items."

Mac then shows the ~~work safe~~ footage to the class.

When it's done, Mac turns to the class and gives each student a Mastercard.

"Each card has only $20.00 on it. Your assignment today is to go to town and purchase five items for your own personal survival kit. I then want you to tell me how each item can be used to escape a dangerous situation ~~and why it would be priceless~~. Assume that you already have a Swiss Army Knife and duct tape. I'll give extra credit for those people who come up with ten items."

[[ETA: Shop Assignment can be handed in on Monday if you need more time or want to play this out.]]

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Wow, his eyes are really blue. "I, ah, hope you know that it's only through sheer strength of character that the words 'sabotage Angel's hair-care products' are not coming out of my mouth right now," Xander answered. He grabbed his room key from his backpack. "I'll just run and get those favors -- I mean Twinkies -- now."

"I can walk with you if you'd like," John offers, "and I'd so sabotage his haircare products for Twinkies. It'd be fun."

"Oh. Uh. Sure? Not actually necessary; it's just back over to the dorms, but if you want to..." Xander grabbed his bag, then. "I live up on this place they call 'Four' where the tumbleweeds blow down the halls and into the Common Room..."

"Ah, four," John nods sagely. "I have heard of this mythical place. Where the Twinkies grow wild and the halls are gilded with cream, right?"

"I think if Twinkies grew wild on Four, you guys wouldn't keep that Coolest Floor title for long," Xander pointed out. "Plus I think you can only gild things with gold. Cream tends to dry out and get sticky."

"Only if you leave the cream out," John says. "Put the cream in a warm container and I bet it stays good. Besides, gold is boring. Stuff needs to be gilded with cream."

"I think 'gilded' actually comes from the word 'gold' though," Xander said as they walked. "If you used cream filling it would be... creamed?"

John scoffs. "Gilded, creamed, whatever. Gilded sounds more royal. Creamed sounds kinda dirty. I mean, really, gilded pants would be cool. Creamed pants? Kinda messy."

Xander... stared at him. Because dude. There's ignoring subtext that you're probably imagining anyway due to COMPLETE MENTAL BREAKDOWN and then there's just. Dude.

John just laughs at the look on Xander's face.

"Did you choke on something, dude?"

Xander stared for a second longer, narrowing his eyes. Then determined -- for the sake of what small amount of remaining self-possession he, uh, possessed -- that no, Crichton just really was so blind to double-entendre that he wouldn't see it if it stood on his nose with a megaphone and yelled "HI I'M DOUBLE-ENTENDRE" in his face.

"Uh. No? Just thinking gilded pants would a little... disco? Unless you're M.C. Hammer, or a prizefighter."

John nods slowly.

"Hmmm. You should totally wear MC Hammer pants, Xander," John says randomly. "You could carry lots of Twinkies in there."

This time when Xander stared at him, it was for the totally normal reason that what John had just said was in fact bugnuts.

"And I'd have them all to myself, alone in the padded room they threw me in..." he replied. "Dude, I'm from 2000, not 1990."

"1990 wasn't that bad," John says and shakes his head. "I bet you totally liked the New Kids on the Block."

"I was totally ten; everybody I knew totally liked the New Kids On The Block," Xander said. Possibly a little defensively.

Shop Class: [2/8]

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