Cafeteria; Monday Lunchtime [ 01/30 ].

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

Not only did it seem entirely unnecessary, it was even so oxymoronical that even Britta, with hypocrisy imbedded into her to her very core, was skeptical.

"Are you sure there's no meat in the vegetarian meatloaf?"

The cafeteria staff was making it quite clear on their expressions that this was why they hated Mondays so much, they should be serving lasagna.

"I mean, did you make it yourself, or did you get it from somewhere else? How can you be sure?"

The lack of response was not going to prevent Britta from continuing.

"No meat? None whatsoever? Meat by-product? Anything?"

Eyes went back to the board mentioning the offerings. Someone went ahead and underlined Vegetarian.

"I can have this checked out at a lab, you know."

The staff remained unphased. Britta sighed, holding out her tray. "Fine, I'll take some. And some mashed potatoes, too. But no jello. They use horses hooves for that, you know."

With that, she got her lunch, found a table, and set to the task of leaning in very close to the square of supposed meat-free meat on her plate to search for signs of animals, though, really, she didn't know what exactly she was expecting to find. Maybe a slice of bacon or a snout or something.


[[ open cafeteria is open, of course! ]]

Comments

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

And as soon as Britta turned her head to the sound of her name and saw Matt there, struggling with both tray and cane, she was on her feet and rushing over. "Oh, Matt! Did you need help with that?"

See, by asking a question instead of just helping or telling him she'll help, she was empowering him to make the choice.

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"I'm okay," Matt said with a wry grin. "I'd rather do this myself. It's an indepence thing.

He's a brave soul, isn't he Britta?

"Mind if I sit with you?"

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

Brave and empowered! It was a real shame that Matt couldn't see the proud, admiring smile on her face as she nodded and gave him space, though her arm was still out as though to guide him in the right direction.

"Not at all; have a seat. No reason why we should all be eating alone, right?"

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"You're eating alone? Can't have that," Matt agreed as he let himself be guided to a seat. "Were you here for the weekend or were you off to New York again. If you did you totally missed the weirdness."

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

"Not New York this time," Britta admitted. "I was feeling like my partying was getting in the way of more important things, so I went to D.C. for a protest. Did you know about SOPA? It's very important."

Actually, Britta, who still didn't realize she was in the 21st Century, didn't know anything about SOPA, but it sounded important, and someone had weed, and so it was now one of her favorite causes.

"Anyway, what sort of weirdness did I miss here?"

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"Oh, all the guys turned into women," Matt said in an offhand manner. "Apparently I'm pretty hot looking as a girl. But tell me more about SOPA!"

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

"It's, like, censorship and stuff," said Britta, but she was distracted by something even more important. "But what do you mean, women? Why?"

And even more important than even that, "Did anyone take pictures?"

She was now glad that Matt couldn't see her eyes roving over him, picturing him with a wig, lipstick, and a push-up filled with tissue paper. Cute as he was, she wasn't sure she could agree with this apparent assessment of hotness.

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"Saturday morning almost all the boys woke up as girls. Literally. Breasts and... All the other female parts," Matt said with a grin. "I'm sure someone took a picture or two."

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

"You better hope so," said Britta, eying Matt skeptically, "because you realize that no one's going to believe that without proof."

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"Trust me," Matt said as he opened up his soda. "It happened. Ask Rebecca if you don't believe me. I woke her up and everything. Plus the radio covered it as well."

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, but, that doesn't make any sense," Britta said. "How does stuff like that just happen?"

Apparently, Britta forgot everything her big sibling tried to warn her about and everything around her practically every day that she mostly attributed to needing to cut down on drugs a little bit.

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"Beats me," Matt shrugged. "Apparently kids from our future are supposed to show up one of these days too. I wouldn't believe it either if it hadn't happened to me."

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

"Okay," Britta tried to sound like she believed Matt but, like most other things, she wasn't very good at it, "and this meatloaf really is vegetarian, too. I got it."

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

Matt smirked a little. "Don't believe me? That's okay. Go find Topher. He'll turn into a bubbly mess if you ask him about his breasts."

Or at least he did on the radio. He couldn't stop talking about it.

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

Britta considered this collection of words put together, mostly because she had no idea what to make of them. She shook her head, decided it was probably best to take it in stride, and marveled at the whole conversation a little....especially the fact that she was even having it.

"Bubbly mess? What, like, in glee or something? Typical. Get a guy near some breasts and it's like they're putty in your hands."

That last part was spoken with a sort of knowing confidence, too.

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"Oh really?" Matt asked with a grin. "Do you think I'd turn to putty in your hands?"

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

See, now, that was a complicated question, since it wasn't like Britta could just show Matt her boobs for them to be effective; instead, it would have to be a much more in depth process. But she had an answer to trump anything else, due to a disability that Matt had that surpassed even his blindness.

"You're male, aren't you?" she prodded.

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"Today, I am," Matt said with a grin. "But if that's your only argument I'm going to need better proof."

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

"You don't believe me?" asked Britta, lifting an oh-so-challenging brow. "Men are pigs. Boobs always work."

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"What if they're gay?" Matt asked with a smirk.

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

"Then they're just fabulous," Britta stated with authority. "Are you gay?"

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"Depends on what fanfiction you read."

"Nope," Matt said cheerfully. "But I had my own set of breasts over the weekend and I wasn't putty in my own hands."

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

"That might be a sign," said Britta, nodding her head very gravely. "Maybe we should look into that."

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"We should," Matt agreed. "A scientific experiment."

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

"Not science," Britta said, making a little bit of a face, "that's too...clinical. A...humanitarian effort towards self-discovery."

There. That sounded much more properly unpretentious.

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

Totally unpretentious.

"Self-discovery?" Matt said with a sip of his soda. "I like the sound of that. How should we go about that?"

[shestheworst.livejournal.com]

Britta considered her mass of supposedly animal free meatloaf, pulverized into a mess from her investigations, and shrugged her shoulders. "This meal blows anyway," she said. "Wanna go see if any of our roommates are are busy doing other things?"

[childhood-taunt.livejournal.com]

"Sure," Matt said offering Britta his arm. "I'm sure they won't mind using our rooms for humanitarian efforts."