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"Because I don't want to trigger it," Angel said. "Only what I thought was the loophole isn't. I thought I'd be okay so long as I wasn't with anybody, but now I've got people telling me that's not the case."

"So long as you aren't with anybody?" asked Jenny. She glanced to the side, then back at Angel. "I hate to be asking this, but do you mean 'with' in the sense that I'm thinking you're asking it?"

"Probably."

"Okay, then," said Jenny. "I'm guessing you and Buffy weren't out for coffee that time in Sunnydale." She paused and nodded firmly. "Moving on. Vengeance. My people? Pretty big on the poetic justice. And it's a curse. There's a loophole. There's always got to be a way to break one of those suckers."

"No offense but could they have picked a dumber one?" Angel said. "I mean I get that your people don't want me to be happy, but seems to me I get too happy and it's everybody else who suffers."

"You're talking about a bunch of ticked-off, uneducated Rom with a serious mad-on for the vampire that killed the baro's baby girl. You got stuck with a curse designed to make sure you and Angelus suffered." Jenny spread her hands and shrugged. "It wasn't 'til after the massacre that one of them had an 'oh shit' moment and realized they hadn't thought the loophole completely through."

"And really? No offense taken."

"Not like I can claim to come from a family without its 'oops' moments," Angel said. "I mean: you've met Spike."

He sat back. "Okay. So loophole. I'm starting to get the impression it's not so much about the sex. But what about dating? I'm scared if I try to be with somebody I'm only tempting fate."

Jenny sighed. "Here's the part I don't like so much. Because, really? You're a pretty likeable guy. And you're right. The loophole's not so much about the sex. In fact, it's not at all about the sex."

She picked her coffee mug up from her desk and wrapped her hands around it, interlacing her fingers, then stared down at it for a moment. When she looked up, her expression was resolved. "You're not human, Angel. My people? They didn't want you to forget that. Ever. Because you forget that? The suffering goes away. Just one minute of contentment, of happiness, and then--boom. Soul goes away. Then Angelus can enter stage left with a raging fury at having actually felt human."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I don't agree with it. I don't like it. But I didn't find out about it 'til after it broke."

Angel nodded, as though Jenny was only saying things he'd already suspected.

"So that'd be a no on the dating thing then."

"I'd love to tell you to go for it, but it was what got you in trouble the last time around." Jenny shrugged and tapped her index finger on her coffee mug. "On the other hand, are you ever gonna forget a whopper of a loophole like this? You're the only one who can make the decision, you know. Something like this? There are no easy answers."

"Least now I know it's not just sex," Angel said. "'course, I don't know if I'm happy about that or not. I'm not really into casual to begin with."

Angel stood to go. Before he moved, however, he asked, "Does it offend you to see me doing things that I like? Things that make me happy?"

Jenny's eyebrows rose. "Didn't expect that question." She leaned forward, her elbows resting on her desk and her coffee mug held up at about the level of her chest. "Valid one, though, I'm thinking, given our history, and hey. Kalderash."

She took a drink of her coffee before continuing. "I got the whole concept of vengeance with my mother's milk. And when I was older? Boogeyman tales. 'If you're not a good little girl, Angelus will come and get you.' Then I moved to Sunnydale and actually met you. You're not so bad a guy. So no, I'm not offended to see you doing things that make you happy."

"Just remember, I'm keeping an eye on you anyway. Another run-in with Angelus? Is so not on the agenda."

"I don't want to lose my soul," Angel promised. "But having a soul is more than avoiding perfect happiness. It's the things I do every day. Phale said accepting regular happiness when it's given should be a part of that. Which might be true. But so's trying not to cause more pain to the people I've already hurt. You're one of them. Figured I'd ask."

"Sounded more like you were thinking I might have a problem with you just because I'm Kalderash," said Jenny. "Glad it's not that. But--" She paused. "You're not causing me more pain, Angel. And believe me, I appreciate that."

"Thanks for being honest," Angel said. "Happy new year if I don't see you."

"You're welcome," said Jenny. "And Happy new year to you as well."

Office Hours

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