Ash's Art Appreciations, Lecture #7

[names-ash.livejournal.com]

[[ooc: Yes, this is uber early. It's done, so I might as well post it now, since it is technically Monday, yo.]]

Ash stands in front of the class, dressed in a red jumpsuit he stole from Joel Robinson's closet. He looks part smug, part miffed. He taps his pen against his chin as he waits for everyone to arrive.

"Inspired," he spits out the word rather unhappily "by certain events this weekend, I have a special topic for today's class. Now, all of you frelling knuckleheads SHUT UP, AND QUIET DOWN."

He dims the lights and starts a slideshow.

"Here is our First Slide. You'll notice that this is what some would call a tattoo. This is our topic of discussion for the class. Body modification of the inking kind. Is this art? Is this particular tattoo art? How about This one! Is that art, kids? Please, go ahead and take notes. Maybe learn something, you jerkaholics."

Ash grumbles a bit before continuing his lecture.

"Perhaps this is art? What would qualify these as art? Is it the colors, the image itself, what? Do Mere Words make a tatto art, if used in an ironic sense? What about dragons, anchors, Hearts with "Mom" on them. Are they art? They're as ubiqutous as the frelling soup cans."

Ash scribbles some notes on his clipboard before proceeding.

"Perhaps your boat is floated to the point that THIS is Art. Or maybe DIRTY PHRASES IN FOREIGN LANGUAGES."

Ash flings his pen at the back wall, before staring at the floor and taking a deep breath.

"Our Next Slide shows us more variety, yes. So does This Slide." Ash sighs. "And I've got More Slides, Yet More, And Another, and this crap too."

Ash rolls his eyes and turns up the lights.

"Right, Art? Yes? No? Wanting to own up to being the dirty kid who wrote on my unconscious body about me having sex with goats? Bueller?"

Comments

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

Throughout the lecture Callisto sits and demurely takes notes, the very picture of innocence. She resists the urge to correct Ash on that one letter being "S" rather than "F".

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

Han catches up with Callisto as they leave class.

"Cute work. Hadda be you or Duce, since Bagoas was with me the whole time, and the list of who speaks ancient Greek is real short."

He grins. "I like your poetry skills."

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

After making sure Ash is out of earshot, Callisto grins, "Thanks, Solo. It was more of a joint effort, really, Duce has lovely handwriting, doesn't she?"

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

Han laughs. "She really does. And the bit about being open enough to take the whole sea and all the ships too was just inspired."

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

"Well, Coach was deserving of nothing but our very best work. I'm just sorry he doesn't seem like he'd open to the idea of claiming extra credit for our hard work."

[krycek-rat.livejournal.com]

"Art, as usual, is in the eye of the beholder," Krycek says, scratching absently at the spider tattoo beneath his sweater. Then, smirking, he mutters something under his breath. ...But you frak a goat just one time...

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake grins in amusement and holds out his hand towards Krycek, a stylized version of a coffee cup appearing with a little spider beside it. Slowly, a little jerkily, the spider climbs up the coffeecup and falls into it.

[krycek-rat.livejournal.com]

Krycek grins back, watching the spider fall in and giving a very low whistle. "Nice."

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

"Thank you. My skills be mad," Jake nods. "Oh, by the way? Been thinking about something."

[krycek-rat.livejournal.com]

"Mm? What?" He glances to the head of the class, then back when it seems Ash isn't paying that much attention.

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

"Doing an extra credits project for this class. Already got Callisto -" he nods towards Callisto. "-Duce and Beka agreeing to pose." He tilts his head. "Going to ask Chloe and Rory as well, I think. I'd ask D, but she'd probably hit me or something."

[krycek-rat.livejournal.com]

He blinks, arching an eyebrow quizzically. "And? What are they posing for, exactly?"

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake blinks. "Paintings? What else? But this is for Coach after all, so I'm thinking half-naked chicks, possibly, preferably with a weapon of some kind."

[krycek-rat.livejournal.com]

Krycek looks at him oddly. "You're going to paint female classmates half-naked and armed for extra credit in art? I didn't know you were that much of a painter."

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake gives him a strange look back. He gets up and goes to rummage through the pile of paintings lying on a table in the back. He finally finds what he's looking for and comes back, holding his painting of Krycek (http://www.squidge.org/%7Epraxisters/leather.html) out for him.

[krycek-rat.livejournal.com]

He stares at it, his expression somewhere in the area of a confused puppy. Looking at Jake, eyes wide, he asks him very quietly, "When did you do this?"

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

"Um, last Wednesday." Jake turns it to look at it himself, confused as well. "It's okay, isn't it?"

[krycek-rat.livejournal.com]

Krycek nods, looking at the back of the painting as Jake flips it about. "Yeah... I mean. It's nicely done. Just. Why?"

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

"Oh, that." Jake shrugs. "You're more fun to paint than coffee?"

[krycek-rat.livejournal.com]

Krycek smiles suddenly, lifting a hand to cover his mouth as though he might unexpectedly laugh. Eyes meet Jake's over the painting and he shakes his head. "I can live with that."

[defiantlyyours.livejournal.com]

Number 6 is rather shocked, shocked I tell you, by the vile body art.

[oatmanspatient.livejournal.com]

Sex with goats?

Marty wonders once again which version of Ash this is and hopes that he doesn't have to strip off his clothes to give Cuddy an easy escape from class.

Maybe it's best just to clear the classroom altogether.

*plots*

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Lisa sits down and smiles brightly at the lecture. There's some value to the conversation, maybe, possibly, she thinks.

She just hopes Ash keeps the jumpsuit on.

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

Han signs in, appreciates the tattoos and cannot keep a straight face as Coach gripes about the condition in which he came home.

He tries, but ends up half smirking and half snickering.

[stykera]

*Stark hasn't the faintest idea what's going on. Tattoos are interesting though, so he watches the slides. But he has no idea about anyone having sex with any goats and he'd like to keep it that way.*

[persian-eunuch.livejournal.com]

*giggles covering mouth and attempting to be quiet all throughout teach's rant*