What was the school board thinking giving Jamie Madrox a teaching position?

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

When the students entered into the classroom they would only see one Jamie. Just one.

And the expression on his face meant that this would probably not be one of those silly insane classes he was famous for. Nope.

"Good morning class," Jamie said as the students marched into the room. "Glad to see you're all back and alive. And now? It's time for your final exam."

He handed out blue books. He handed out the test questions and placed them face down on each desk.

"You have five minutes to answer all the questions. You may begin... now."

Comments

Sign-In [12/14]

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Like a test taker.

Re: Sign-In [12/14]

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara

THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

And when you turn the page to reveal the test questions you will see:

"What does a doorknob taste like?"

Yep. That's the only question.

Hey I said it "would probably not be one of those silly insane classes".

PROBABLY.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[iwishiwasbig.livejournal.com]

This was simple.

I have no idea. You had me lick the ceiling.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[notmyownage]

Claudia spent most of the class debating whether Jamie was looking for an honest answer, or something absurd.

At T-minus-thirty seconds, she realized she'd just have to pick something and run with it. And that's how her answer ended up being "tabernacle".

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[walkswithcoyote]

Germy. And metally. And sadly, not at all like bacon.

What? Mercy didn't need to actually LICK one to tell you that!

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[randomspanish.livejournal.com]

Freddie stared at the question for the first minute, racked his brain for the second, and then finally just wrote 'A doorknob' as his answer.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara didn't really care about passing this class at this point.

So she wrote 'SCIENCE'.

It was the kind of random and inane reply Jamie seemed enamoured of.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

Seifer just shook his head, fondly remembering all the things he had handwavingly made with his five pounds of bacon.

Then he wrote down, "Despair and vanilla scented lotion."

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[whitequeensfire.livejournal.com]

Angelica stared at the test paper for a long time before finally writing down It tastes like yellow.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[momslilassassin]

Ben stared at the test for a very long time before writing "despair and the abuse of authority."

Ben was such a happy little soul.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[likethestore.livejournal.com]

It depends on the doorknob. I once licked one that tasted like banana for some strange reason.

Hey, it'd been back home and she and the other kids had been really really bored. You kinda had to make your own entertainment in their situation.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

A doorknob

If Squall tried, he could probably come up with an answer that was more descriptive. If he tried hard enough, he might be able to come up with something nonsensical that Professor Madrox might appreciate. He didn't care enough to do either of those, though, so he didn't.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

Scully gave the chemical composition of a brass doorknob. Then added, subjectively speaking.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[annieadderall.livejournal.com]

Pennies.

What, it had.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[richieryan.livejournal.com]

At least this question was only bizarre, unlike the awful Ethics questions had been.

Probably like a trip to the clinic.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[notagoose]

Goose stared at the question, thought it over for several seconds before writing a one sentence response it tastes like a doorknob should/i>.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[squire-hand.livejournal.com]

James stared at the exam, blinking slowly. He carefully wrote "3" and wondered how he would explain failing this class in his next letter.

Re: THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAM!!!!

[selfhelphero]

Billy wasn't sure what kind of an answer Jamie wanted, so it took a while before he finally wrote down Like metallic goodness.

Yes, he was a suck-up sometimes.

And the rest of the class...

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

"See?" Jamie said when everyone was done with their exam. "That wasn't too bad was it? Now it's time for a movie. And not just any move. Possibly the best movie that was ever made here on this island."

The room was now flooded with dupes. They had food. Lots of food. Klondike bars. Twinkies. Grape Judases. Non-whip low-fat soy lattes. And a cheesecake.

There was also now a film projector and a screen.

"Ladies and Gentlemen? I give you... The Fandom Chicken (http://importantman.livejournal.com/35323.html). Enjoy."

Re: And the rest of the class...

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

...Yep. This was definitely something Squall could believe that Professor Madrox liked.

Well, at least watching it was something to do.

Re: And the rest of the class...

[annieadderall.livejournal.com]

Annie did a lot of staring. And possibly some wondering about whether or not there had been drugs in the water supply back when this was made.

The TA

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Who would no doubt love the Fandom Chicken movie. And all of it's sequels.

Re: The TA

[notmyownage]

She liked it so much she was bootlegging it with her phone's camera.

Possibly so she could show it to Artie and ask if it might be better filed in the film vaults of the Warehouse.

Madrox!

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Who could be found sitting at the back of the classroom feeding two weasels a large amount of Slim Jims.

The OOC:

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Thank you all for being a wonderful class and putting up with Jamie's insanity. You've made me laugh every week and I look forward to torturing you all next semester.

Did I say torture? I meant teach. Yes. That's it.

Re: The OOC:

[furnaceface]

I die a little the further back in time I go with those when I realize how much even the style of gameplay around here has changed since then. My old prose makes me wince!

But omg, so much fun. I'm sorry my boy's going to miss this class- he's off living out his other two minutes of canon. D:

But thank you for an awesome semester. This class was made of win. ALL OF THE WIN.