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Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Wednesday | Period 1

Today, students had been ~~handwavily~~ told to meet in the Danger Shop, which was programmed on this fine morning to resemble a busy transit hub that students might recognize as Grand Central Station. Although they would learn that it was actually set up to resemble most of Upper Manhattan.

Stationed toward the middle of the chaos near a circular booth, Neal was holding a paper bag full of bagels, which he was handing out to students as they arrived. He could be generous! Sometimes. Though he wasn't handing out coffee. That stuff was all his.

"Welcome to Grand Central Station," he said once everyone had arrived. "This is the largest¹ train station in the world, and over 750,000² people pass through it on a daily basis. Suffice it to say that it's not exactly the kind of place that's convenient for making a quick getaway."

Since he assumed that his students would be having need of that, possibly within the first two minutes of class. (Put that commuter's wallet down, Kenzi! Or keep it and share. Whatever.)

"Today we're going to work on a couple of things," he said, then enjoyed a sip of that amazing, amazing coffee that he wasn't sharing with any of you. "One: Finding your way around. Nothing's more embarrassing than trying to make a quick exit down the wrong hallway." If that had ever happened to him, he wasn't sharing. "Two: Actually getting around, which is harder than it sounds in a place this crowded. And three: Getting things cheaper than they're being sold for."

That one wasn't getting elaborated, apparently. It was pretty much self-explanatory.

"So here's what you're gonna do," Neal continued. "You can each have five dollars." Look, five magical Danger Shop dollars! "With that, you have to get: a roundtrip Metro-North peak-hours ticket to Poughkeepsie, a good slice of pizza -- which my illustrious TA and I will be verifying, a picture of you doing something unlawful, and something from a store in the station that doesn't have a heart or an apple on it."

That might just be the hardest challenge of all.

"And then you can take the subway to L'Arte Del Gelato and meet me there in an hour."

That was all the way crosstown. Not to mention Neal had intentionally neglected to give street coordinates.

"Good luck!"

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Kenzi had a plan. And she was hoping for a confederate. She needed a confederate, or a way to swipe a ticket, and that would be meaner than conning one out of the ticket counter.

"Want my bagel?"

That whole vampire thing meant no food.

"Or a partner?"

She could play nice, after all.

"Yes and sure!" Kenzi grinned at Alice, always a fan of food, and asked, "How are you at swiping things? And how are you at crying on cue?"

"Well... I have really, really good reflexes and I'm really fast, so I could probably swipe," Alice said. "And I'm not so good at crying on cue but I can look really tiny and adorable and pathetic. Does that help?"

"Yup!" Kenzi grinned, and nodded carefully over at the ticket counter where the Poughkeepsie tickets were being sold. "We go up there, and I explain in bad English that our tickets were stolen. Pretend you don't know English. They won't give them to us, I would guess-- there's good, and there's policy. But I'll make a big scene at a point where someone else's ticket hasn't been handed over yet, and you grab it. Works?"

"It's a plan." Alice grinned. "Let's do this."

Kenzi beamed, then sobered down to Very Serious and Worried. She headed for the ticket counter, shooting Alice sad glances all the while, and said in her best Latvian accent, "Pliss, we have problem? We need, talk to someone?"

The ticket seller looked wary, but concerned. "What seems to be the problem?"

"We have our tickets stolen! Our purses, them too!" Kenzi sniffled, and looked up at him from big sad eyes. "Please, help!"

Alice just stood there, looking confused and sad and very, very tiny and fragile.

Look, she was barely five feet in shoes with heels. She rocked tiny and fragile.

She tugged at Kenzi's sleeve and pouted.

Kenzi looked a question at her, then said in Latvian, "//What is it, sweetheart? Is something else wrong?//" Trusting that Alice would figure out a way to make herself understood even if she didn't know another language to fake. She rubbed at her eyes and tried to be Brave.

Alice might not've known another language to fake, but she did know how to look even more small and pathetic and confused.

With a few hand gestures, she managed to convey a general sense of "We're going to be late!"

"I know!" Kenzi said, and tears leaked out, before she turned back to the slightly more believing ticket counter guy now. "I sorry, is INS, we have meeting..."

A couple people in line were watching her with interest and sympathy, a couple others were looking at their watches. Kenzi threw herself at the counter, trying to draw all the attention to herself, gesturing widely as one of the ticketers printed out a ticket for someone. "You no understand! We no make it there, we deported! We no want to deport! We love America!" A sob. Kenzi turned to one of the other people in line. "You love America, yes? Yes?" Hanging onto him so he couldn't get closer to the counter.

Alice waited until Kenzi was hanging onto the other guy something fierce and the ticketers were staring at Kenzi in sympathy or horror of any other reaction that was just starting at Kenzi and not Alice.

And that would be Alice's hand snaking out to steal the freshly-printed ticket.

And also wondering if security footage of this would count as a picture of doing something unlawful.

Probably! Although how to get it...

Kenzi pulled away and burst into fresh tears as a security guard came closer. "We saved! Alitzia, little one, we saved! He come to take us on the train!"

The security guard looked somewhat alarmed. "Ma'am, no, someone said your things were stolen, I'm here to look into that."

"Ohhhh." Kenzi wiped at her eyes, walking away so he couldn't see her and Alice at the same time. "You find the bad men, get our purses? Yes?" hmm. Would stealing his baton work? Probably.

Alice sneakily folded the ticket and stuck it in her bra. Ha, let's seem them go after it there if they realize it was stolen!

She watched Kenzi with confused interest. "Help?" Said in the tone of someone mimicking a word they didn't actually understand.

"Help, yes," Kenzi said, patting her arm and grinning where the station cop couldn't see. "Alitzia, her English, not so good, so I tell you what happened..."

She then launched into an off-the-cuff explanation of how two big boys came along and swiped their bags-- "With our papers! We need zose!" -- along with descriptions, and then suddenly stopped, eyes wide. "There! There! Alitizia, that is them, no?" she said excitedly, pointing to two guys who looked like they were going to jump a turnstile.

Alice nodded excitedly. "Yes, yes! Them!" There was pointing here as well.

This was actually kind of fun, really.

"Hey, you," the cop called. The two boys froze, then took off, and Kenzi bounced up and down.

"Get zem! Get zem! Go go--" She hardly needed to tell him. People ran, cops chased.

Kenzi coughed to cover a laugh, then carefully started walking in the exit for another platform. No need to look suspicious yet. "Verrrrry nice, Alitzia."

Alice stifled a grin. "What can I say, I try."

Kenzi chortled. "And succeed! Pizza's on me, if you want to sit that one out. I think I have a semi-legal way to get it, too."

"Ooh. Semi-legal is good -- just to mix it up and all."

"See, that's what I think. Throws off suspicion." Kenzi looked around for a pizza place on the map, and then studied it as they approached. "Okay, I think this place will work. Doesn't look like they have a lot of business yet. Does that smell good to you too? Mr. Caffrey will so disqualify us if he thinks that's bad pizza." She grinned. "Free advertising, for the slice of piece of pizza."

Alice tilted her head slightly and sniffed the air. "That definitely smells good."

Good enough to make her wish she could actually eat food. She figured that qualified.

"Works! Okay, just remember: the temp agency sent us, and it's an hour 'til our next train," Kenzi counseled, then walked in, all business. "Hi, where's our sandwich boards? We're here to stand in the station."

"What?" the woman behind the counter asked, confused. "We don't have any sandwich boards. Who sent you?"

"Speedy Temps, the right work at the right time?" Kenzi said, acting like she couldn't believe the woman didn't know this. "We're your advertising crew, for the best pizza in Grand Central. Wait. You didn't call?"

Kenzi looked at Alice, face disgusted. "Oh, I don't believe this."

Edited 2011-09-21 21:00 (UTC)

Alice groaned and rolled her eyes, going along with it. "I can't believe this! What are we supposed to do, hm?"

Kenzi checked her watch and groaned. "We can't get another train for an hour, we are so screwed..." She paused and leaned on the counter, eyes wide. "Look. I know you can't pay us for this, and I mean, seriously, who would want to? But... can we go out and advertise your stuff anyway? Just while we're here, so the agency knows we tried? If we can't get paid, at least we can get brownie points."

The woman's mouth quirked, and she looked around, then said, "So, you'd stand outside and do what?"

"Eat your pizza, and announce to anyone who walked by that it was the best ever," Kenzi promised. "I mean, we have to get lunch anyway." She looked extra-glum.

Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Wednesday | Period 1

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