fandomhigh | Everything's A Weapon, Wednesday, Period 3

Cindy glanced around the monochromatic park. She and Reno had politely waited for the firefighters to finish removing the cats in the vicinity and then set up. If there was anyplace that needed what they had planned, it was here.

“Hey class,” Cindy said, waving a large gun at the approaching class--while ignoring the curious stares of the townsfolk who had gathered around to stare at them. “Welcome to your final.” She pointed to the pile of guns and eye protection laying in between their teachers.

"Basic rules," Reno intoned, grinning sharply and picking up a paintball gun of his own. His goggles were pulled down over his eyes. Because they were cooler than the stupid ones that were supplied for the students, that's why. "You can shoot one another, but the first one who aims for the head gets immediate detention, yo. Yes, over break, you think I give a shit how much vacation you miss? An' you can shoot the scenery all you like. Anyone who gets one of the locals gets detention, too."

Reno was caring and benevolent like that.

“Please shoot the scenery,” Cindy muttered. “It’s creeping me out.”

Greenery wasn’t supposed to be gray. They'd had enough of that back in Massachusetts.

“Now, then, rather than improvising weaponry today, you’ll be improvising shields and barricades. Things to keep yourself safe and unshot. But that doesn’t mean you can skimp out of protection, so eyewear before guns. And that’s an order.”

Reno hefted his gun, pointed it at a tree, and fired it off. Anyone who was surprised that it left a bright red smear across the trunk clearly didn't know anything about Reno at all.

"Pick your favorite color ammo, fan out across the park, an' then go at it, Rookies. This is your final, make it count."

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She'd have a good moment, too; Stephanie was trying really hard to squint down the barrel of the paintball gun.

"I'm gonna get you this time," she muttered to herself, completely oblivious to any four-footed threats from above. "Just a liiiiiiiittle . . ."

Well, there was another purple-splotched hedge. But look! Pretty!

Surreal wasn't going to get a better chance than this.

She launched herself out of the tree, aimed to land on Stephanie's head.

Stephanie was accommodating like that.

Like what? Like finding herself with a headful of DEATH CAT FROM ABOVE all of a sudden.

And yelping, and dropping her paintball gun. Real superhero-like, Stephanie. Well done!

Surreal's yowl of CAT VICTORY was sadly short lived, however, as Fandom-weird decided to traumatize both of them. As if the last few weeks hadn't done enough.

Surreal was suddenly very witch-shaped, rather naked, and a lot larger than she had been a moment ago. "AHHHHH!"

Heavier, too -- thanks for that, cruelly consistent laws of gravity! Stephanie might've been able to balance a cat on her head, but teenagers were an entirely different story.

At least she had the presence of mind -- okay, fine, the sheer luck -- to not land on the paintball gun when the unexpected weight sent her toppling over.

"Oooooooookay! Well, this is awkward."

Somewhere you just knew Cass was frowning.

Surreal scrambled to disentangle herself from Steph. Naked didn't bother her, not really, but being vulnerable to attack did.

"Maybe for you," she retorted, lunging for Steph's paintball gun. "Not my fault."

"Not mine either!" Stephanie insisted, making her own grab for the paintball gun. "I swear, what is it with me and people de-animal-ing in this park?"

"You're just lucky, sugar," Surreal growled, perfectly willing to elbow Steph in the face - while naked - for the gun. "Most people gotta pay for this."

Steph would totally give her props for that -- although getting clipped in the jaw might make her a little more reluctant about it.

"Bully for me, then," she quipped, flailing out with an arm to try and knock the gun out of reach. "Just a shame I didn't come prepared to throw a welcome-back-from-animalhood party today."

Everything's A Weapon, Wednesday, Period 3

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