fandomhigh | Everything’s A Weapon, Wednesday, Period 3

While the students opened the door to the Danger Shop today and stepped through, they’d be walking into a replica of Caritas, right down to the zombie band playing on the stage and a scowling Tino wiping glasses behind the counter. Reno and Cindy were perched on the stools, Cindy eating a maraschino cherry from a bowl in front of her, and Reno casually picking at his teeth with one of those neat little minty toothpicks.

“Good job last week with not getting taken by surprise,” Cindy said as the last of the class filed in. “And not getting eaten by...whatever those things were.”

“Sahagins,” Reno offered, ever helpful. “They were sahagins. Or, uh, fish-turtle-man-things. Whatever you wanna call ‘em. Ain’t like they’re a local critter anyhow.”

He cracked that crooked little grin of his, and then nodded to the class. “I’m sure you guys know better by this point than to think we’d do somethin’ nice like give you all a break from the fightin’, so I’m gonna be good an’ straightforward. We know Caritas here on the island has a protection spell up, so all hell can’t break loose inside, yo. Still, the bar’s a perfect environment for gettin’ into crap up to your eyeballs, and there just so happens to be a wealth of shit in here that can be used in case of emergency, yo.”

“There’s a reason most Westerns have an obligatory bar-fight scene,” Cindy added. “Bars are pretty much made of improvised weaponry. You’ve got a few minutes to arm yourselves appropriately and get ready for a knock-down, drag-out fight.”

She ostentatiously glanced at her watch. “Go.”

[OCD ~~coming~~ up! Have at thee!]

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Yep. Zombies today. Maybe somebody tried to take their instruments, maybe they want to get cozy with their adoring public, or maybe Tino swapped to a cheaper grade of duct tape. Either way, they're shuffling off the stage, arms outstretched, trying to get right up into your personal space.

They're fairly fallapart, since they're being held together with tape and a prayer, but they're your fodder today. Take them down while Danger Shop Tino tries to put them back together. They're the entertainment, after all!

Angelica didn't panic upon seeing the zombies, thanks to taking "How to survive the Zombie Apocalypse" last semester. She did, however, duck behind the bar and grab one of the hoses for the beer on tap. Instant flamethrower, just add a little fire. Well, until it ran out. Or she set the entire bar on fire. Whichever came first.

Entertainment, indeed! Alexander found that he was not only fairly good at knocking down zombies, but there was a certain fun involved in it, too, especially since his original plan didn't seem as good as he had intended. He was good at improvising, though, and there were many smashed bottles and perhaps a few subtly lit magical fires to help his way, but he mostly prided himself in a rather clever (or so he thought, anyway) use of a pool cue.

... Zombies.

Squall had learned enough about Fandom's idea of zombies to know that even the chance of getting bit was bad. A broken bottle, which was a very close-range weapon, wasn't worth the risk.

He tossed the bottle away, and ripped a leg off of a table, instead. The zombies were fragile enough, and he was strong enough, that a swing from his improvised club sent rotten body parts flying.

Yes, their bite was dangerous, but the fact of the matter was that Surreal was faster and more ruthless than any of the zombies.

Armed with a large shard of broken glass, she ducked around them, attacking each zombie from behind to hamstring them. A zombie that couldn't even shuffle was an easier zombie to pick-off once they were all down.

That was the kind of technique Kate hadn't seen since the arenas. She tended towards the less precise, more straight up violent route of swordplay, and was generally a little impressed by anyone who took a closer quarters approach. You needed some good aim to skewer the right bits in a fast fight.

After dispatching her most recent undead attacker, crushing it's neck with her boot once she had it face down on the ground, she took a brief pause to check out her technique. You could sometimes learn a little something from looking at someone else.

Surreal was perfectly aware she was being watched, and tossed Kate a sharp, slightly feral grin. "I'll take 'em down if you do the beheading." It would go faster with two, after all.

Yes, it would. Kate returned a grin, rolling her shoulders, "My favorite". Just a shame they didn't have any handy blades around, things would go a lot easier.

Instead, she nabbed a cord from one of the instruments winding it around her hands and wandering back over. "I actually missed this." Violence was fun.

"There's something about finding someone who deserves to feel the other end of your knife," Surreal agreed. "Or whatever it is that you have handy."

In their case, broken glass and guitar strings.

"Undead have a special place in my list of things that deserve dismemberment," she admitted. Zombies, vampires... all about the same to her.

"If only they didn't stink so much." One little gripe she had with killing them. It made her reek too.

"I don't think there's enough money in all the Realms to convince me to go hunting one of Hell's demon-dead," Surreal stated, taking a running start to drop-and-slide behind a zombie and practically take him off at the knees. "Not even in full daylight."

"These, however, die much more easily."

"Most undead I know don't just fall apart when you poke them," Kate agreed, stamping on the thing's hands as she put herself in place to wrap the string around it's neck and yank upwards.

It was like cutting cheese, if cheese made a crunching noise and smelt like decomposing flesh

"I wish they did." It would save a lot of time and energy. "Yours this ugly?"

Edited 2011-07-21 18:38 (UTC)

"Depends on how they died, I suppose" she replied with a shrug, shattering another large bottle to get a new weapon. After two or so zombies, they got too goopy to cut nicely. "But these are the ugliest whatevers I've ever found."

Most of Kenzi's experience with zombies came from video games. WHY DIDN'T SHE HAVE AN AK-47?? AND GRENADES. "Suck!"

Instead, she looked around for stuff to drop on them. Like pianos? Large safes? Anvils?!

Noooo.

Did electrocution work? She started working on the sound system, cracking open the wires to the huge speakers, and trying to split them enough to get a nice spark going.

*CRACKLE* *SNAP* "Muahahahha."

Everything’s A Weapon, Wednesday, Period 3

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