fandomhigh | Cupcake War Crimes (Take 2), Week 1 (Thurs/3rd Period)

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cupcake war crimes

Cupcake War Crimes (Take 2), Week 1 (Thurs/3rd Period)

The classroom (for anyone who’d been in the class the first session) was set up in typical Home Ec style by way of the Food Network, with cooking stations for the students and a counter up front. Though the Food Network wasn’t likely to hire the two guys up front as hosts any time soon, not when one of them looked like he should be on ESPN instead and the other sported a metal half-mask strapped to his face.

"Hey, everyone," Anders said as the students arrived, "and welcome back to those of you taking this class again. To recap for anyone who wasn’t, this class is all about the dos and don’ts of one of the best foods the gods -- or whoever -- ever invented. Cupcakes. Because there are wrong things to do with cupcakes, as far as we’re concerned."

He held his hands up. "Your mileage may vary, turns out -- we had a few people in class last term who had some pretty strong opposite opinions, and we’re not gonna tell you you can’t. But that’s part of the fun of getting to mess around and make your own."

"But just because you can doesn’t mean you should," Stark put in. "Sometimes you shouldn’t." That sushi cupcake he had unwisely tasted last session was probably going to haunt him forever. He glanced at Anders, gave a tiny sigh, and continued reluctantly, "but just because you shouldn’t doesn’t mean you can’t. But you still shouldn’t."

"We don’t endorse it," Anders added, then uncovered one of the trays of cupcakes. "I think most of us can agree on chocolate mocha cupcakes being good though, right, guys?" Then, uncovering the other tray: "Toasted ravioli ones, on the other hand . . ."

"Are questionable," Stark said. Which he felt was a nicely diplomatic way of putting it. See, he was trying! Even if he did think the supporters of the strange and frightening cupcakes were misguided and to be pitied. "You can try both if you want, or one. Or neither. We have plenty." And a couple of mochas set aside for the instructors.

Also possibly a secret stash. "Today we’ll keep it simple," Anders told them. "First week, introductions, one thing you think should belong in a cupcake and one that shouldn’t, then we’ll set you loose on the kitchen to try making a few of your own." He hoped no one would try to inflict the more questionable ones on their classmates.

"We’ll taste them," Stark said. "And tell you who won next week." The winners were still a mystery to him. He was sure that some from last time shouldn’t have won and yet somehow they still had.

"It’s a totally scientific method," Anders added. No, it wasn’t. "Oh, right -- I’m Anders. Samuel Anders, but just Anders -- not Mister Anders, not Professor Anders -- is fine. I didn’t graduate from this place that long ago."

"And I’m Stark," the other alien instructor said. "Just Stark. No titles. Just Stark."

"He graduated from here too," Anders said because he was helpful like that. "Momoko’s going to be your TA this session, so feel free to ask her any cupcake-related questions too. Anyway, I think that’s it, so get to the introducing and then go wild with the cupcakes, guys."

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Toby was doing pretty well with the whole following-a-recipe thing until he got to-

"Cream together?" he read aloud. "What does that even mean?"

"What are you creaming together?" Sam asked, holding up a bag of flour like it was some stinky, screaming child. "Sounds messy."

"The butter," Toby explained, giving said ingredient the stink-eye. "Maybe it was a typo and they meant to say cram?" he said hopefully.

"...where are you supposed to cream the butter?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. "Does you usually cream things together? Like the butter and some, uh, eggs? Cream them together until they're...creamy?"

"Huh, yeah," Toby said, glancing back at the recipe and realising there was indeed more to that sentence. "Yeah, with the eggs." He frowned. "What's the difference between creaming and just mixing?"

"Uh." Sam scratched his cheek which just smeared flour on it. Of course. "We never mixed anything at Plumpy's. It was deep fried or grilled. I don't think I could get away with that with cupcakes. Maybe...creaming means it looks like cream?"

"That's probably it," Toby decided. "And I bet there's probably someone somewhere who'd appreciate deep-fried cupcakes," he mused. "A heart attack in the palm of your hand."

"You think a cupcake could stand up to being deep fried?" Sam wondered, pouring some flour into his bowl and frowning at it. "I can't cook, man. Why am I even trying?"

"Isn't deep fried ice cream a thing?" Toby wondered. "If someone can manage that, cupcakes are probably possible." He eyed Sam's bowl, noting that his friend's attempt at cupcake-baking was progressing about as dubiously as his own. "Because participating in this class means we get free junk food? We might get in trouble or something if we just showed up to eat the non-gross cupcakes."

Yeah, Toby was right there. Showing up to mooch was something Ramon would do but Ramon was back in Seattle, being a werebear. One day, he was just going to tell someone that when he introduced himself.

Sam glanced at the cupcakes at the front of the room and then back over at Toby. "That mean you're not gonna try the ravioli cupcake, Toby? I bet tomato sauce and frosting go great together."

"Yeah? You think it's so great then you try it," Toby countered. "I will if you do."

"I'll try it, no problem," Sam said, trying to feel as confident as he sounded. "You think I haven't eaten worse than that? Come on, I worked at a place called Plumpy's. I doubt their meat was even meat."

"Right," Toby nodded, thinking of some of the stuff he'd eaten in the past few months before Fandom. Some of it had been pretty gross. He could totally do this. Snagging two of the cupcakes, he handed one to Sam. "Here goes nothing."

[ooc: AND I FLEE FOR WORK. Where I may possibly be able to sneak off a ping or two.]

Sam didn't really want to eat the cupcake but he wasn't gonna back down if Toby wasn't. But, maybe he was gonna try and make Toby eat the cupcake first.

He brought the cupcake up to his mouth, feigning like he was gonna take a bite in the next second or two and hoped that Toby took the plunge quicker so Sam could see his reactions.

Hey, he thought it was smart!

[Okay, no problem!]

Toby just smirked and raised an eyebrow at Sam. That trick might have worked with someone who couldnt read thoughts, but unfortunately for Sam, Toby totally saw that coming.

Yeah, Sam realized that after he'd held the cupcake up near his mouth for a few seconds. He made a face and shook his head.

"Cheater," Sam accused lightly, giving the cupcake another look. "Okay, seriously this time. Cross my heart, I'll take a bite if you do."

"It's not cheating!" Toby argued. "Just using all the resources at my disposal. Count of three, then."

"One. Two. Three," Sam said, taking the initiative on the count before taking a bite out of the cupcake. At first, he didn't taste the ravioli so it wasn't too bad. When the texture of the actual ravioli hit, he made a brief face but it was actually pretty good.

"That's...surprisingly not a bad taste," he said, wiping some powdered sugar away from his mouth. "Huh."

Re: Bake! [CWC 7/7]

godgavemecable.livejournal.com - 2011-07-08 14:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Bake! [CWC 7/7]

necroslacker - 2011-07-08 14:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Bake! [CWC 7/7]

godgavemecable.livejournal.com - 2011-07-08 14:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Bake! [CWC 7/7]

necroslacker - 2011-07-08 15:08 (UTC) - Expand

Speaking as someone who had just shown up to mooch--

Kenzi leaned in next to Toby and said, "Extreme blunt force trauma to the ingredients?"

"That may be the answer," Toby grinned at her. "I didn't know you were in this class," he added.

"I am right now," Kenzi said, cheerful. She reached out to swipe a finger through the batter. "I am all about the food, honey."

"You crashed?" Toby gave her an impressed look. "Hey!" he swatted her hand with a wooden spoon. "Not till they're done!"

Kenzi gave him an injured look, then held her hands up in front of her face and put on a begging expression. "Please sir, c'n I have s'more?" she said in a squeaky British accent.

"Nice," Toby snickered. "You planning on putting that to use in town later?"

"Think it'll work? They're all about Dickens, right? I remember that from seventh year." She tried to swipe another fingerful of dough. "We have a century of experience on those guys, this should be awesome!"

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