Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles | Tuesday | Period 4

[charming_thief]

So. Teaching.

When the Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles students arrived for class today, they would find their teacher ungodly attractive standing at the front of the room, clad in an expensive suit with his ankle tracker left deliberately visible on the outside of his pants. Some might argue that that would hurt his credibility as a teacher. Neal saw it differently. 

“Welcome to Tricks, Cons and Bamboozles,” he said once everyone was seated. “I’m going to be upfront with you and tell you that teaching isn’t something I ever planned to be doing. But you’re here and I’m here, and it’s my job to teach you all a little something about being wily and persuasive – and most of all, successful.” 

“But first,” he continued, “I’m going to challenge you all. A lot of teachers might have you introduce yourselves on the first day. I want you to bullshit me.” He doubted this was the kind of school where he could come under fire for using bad language, but if it was, it wasn’t like he’d ever gotten a high school diploma or sufficient experience in a high school environment to teach him that. “Introduce yourselves and try to convince me you’re someone else. Your classmates and I will be free to ask you questions to try and trip you up. Starting now.”

He pointed at someone, then gestured to the front of the room and took a seat on top of an empty desk in the first row. “Go.”

Comments

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

"Hi," Quinn said, twirling a strand of hair in a way that drove Quinn crazy when she saw other girls do it. "I'm Brittany? I'm almost 18 and I like dancing, rainbows and cupcakes."

She was a decent liar, but -- maybe because half the class knew who she was anyhow -- somehow this didn't sound entirely sincere.

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[charming_thief]

The lack of sincerity and the fact that something about her just looked devious kept Neal from buying it. And, you know, the fact that the point of the lesson was to lie.

"So you're probably in that cupcake crimes class, right?" he asked innocently.

Which, okay, as a professional criminal, he totally didn't know any crimes you could do with cupcakes. Except poison, but that got old fast.

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Cupcake crimes was a class?

"I didn't pick my classes," Quinn said, with an almost-straight face. "I let my cat do it. She's really smart."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[charming_thief]

Neal blinked, noticed the almost-straight face, and did his best not to laugh himself. Whoever this fake person was, she had to be one hell of an idiot.

"Oh, you have a cat?" he inquired. "What's her name?"

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Quinn couldn't remember what the heck the real Brittany called her stupid cat, so she grabbed the first name that came to mind.

"Priscilla," she said. "Like the drag queen movie."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[charming_thief]

"And... what kind of cat is she?"

He was not pegging this girl as a cat freak. Mainly because she looked like the kind of person who had human friends.

Neal was not a cat person.

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

"Quiet, but friendly once you get to know her," Quinn answered slowly. Brittany wouldn't have understood the question was asking about a breed. "And almost as smart as I am. I think she reads my diary."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[charming_thief]

Neal snorted with laughter.

"Okay, you pass," he laughed. "You and Aimee over there have this bullshitting thing down."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Quinn preened. "Thanks," she said. "It's really Quinn. And I don't have a cat."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[charming_thief]

"Good to know," Neal said with a grin. Though Lord Tubbington might be a much happier cat had he been Quinn's instead.

"For your sake," he added, "I hope that performance wasn't modeled on a real person you know."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

"She went to my old school. Sweet girl," Quinn said idly. "Dim, but sweet."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[charming_thief]

"...I am so sorry," Neal said, almost sincerely. "For the cat, if nothing else."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

"Hi Brit! I so missed you last session!" Caroline said, totally willing to go along with Quinn's lie. Hot blondes unite and all that. "There was a whole class on cupcakes that you'd have died for."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

"I am so sad I missed it, Aims!" Quinn said, shooting Caroline a grateful look. "Did you save any for me?"

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

"I so tried, but Bobby has eaten like, all the food in my room. I so need to go shopping." Well, need wasn't all that true, but want worked. "My skills have improved to the point where I wouldn't totally accidentally poison anyone if I ever landed the role of housewife."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

"Ugh, guys," Quinn said sympathetically. "Give me one next time you bake. I like not being poisoned."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

Caroline giggled. "I like not poisoning you. Right after I steal your boyfriend." She made sure to wink at Quinn there since Aimee was the boyfriend stealer, not Caroline.

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

"Hey!" Quinn said, then realized this was all part of the act and feigned a giggle. "Just be careful, or I'll have to steal yours right back."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

Even faking, Caroline couldn't help the way her cheeks flushed at the mention of her boyfriend, assuming Quinn didn't know she actually had one. "What, like I can't have both now? That is so lame."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Quinn gasped. "You'd totally be hogging the hot at this school. So unfair."

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

"I tend to do that," she smirked, flipping her hair. "So how was home? Your boy seemed appropriately lost without you, and no, I didn't even smile his way, see what a good fried I can be?"

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

"Good. I'd slaughter him with my fingernails if he messed around, no offense," Quinn said. (It was a metaphor! ... Mostly!) "Home wasn't too bad. My parents kind of split up, so ... drama. But we all seem to be dealing. How was it here?"

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

Friend, she was a friend.

"Ooh yeah, the D word. Been there. I totally still have the t-shirt if you ever feel like comparing crappy stories," she offered, though her parents' breakup had happened a while ago, Caroline was still coping with the issues that creeped up after. "I don't know that this place was any less dramatic...what with people dying and coming back to life and the island dragging us to other lands where there is no mall." What? she had priorities.

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

"I'd like that," Quinn said, with a tiny smile. She was repressing like hell fine, but it was good to have somebody there if she ever stopped being fine.

The next thing Caroline said jolted her out of bitching about the lack of a mall.

"Wait, people died and came back? Somehow, nobody remembered to tell me. Who was it?"

Re: In-faux-ductions!

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

"Oh, well, they probably didn't want to freak you out." Too bad Caroline didn't have the same ability to keep her mouth shut. "Nathan. He went home and died, but apparently that much annoying can't be stopped so as you can see, he's fine now. I'd say he wanted to see who'd cry, but he doesn't like weeping."