How To Avoid Misadventure, Monday

[badnewsandwit.livejournal.com]

"'Ello there, students," Alistair said, his accent only a little overexaggerated. He felt naked without his sword around, though he did still have his shield firmly tied to his back. (He'd protested that it was 'mostly decorative, unless someone takes a swing at me', and then he'd pointed out that it didn't even have any sharp bits, and...) He looked cheerful, though, and if the armor he was wearing was heavy, he wasn't admitting to it. "Welcome to How To Avoid Misadventure Class. I'm Alistair, I'm a Grey Warden, and I've got a fair bit of experience with misadventure, if I do say so myself." Beat. "Which I do. Anyway, this lovely creepy woman over here is..."

"Tis certain, one of your instructors is more prone to misadventure and stupidity over the other," Morrigan added sweetly. "Luckily for you, 'tis not I."

"I am called Morrigan. And as you are being inflicted with the misadventures of a Warden not yet old enough to be without his masters, I am here to provide balance, not being prone to misadventure myself."

Mostly because any issues Morrigan ran into were easily dealt with using fire or fangs, but that was a small detail.

"Really," Alistair said. His eyebrow lifted. "I find that very hard to believe. What was that your mother wrote about stockings...?"

He had limited blackmail material, but by the Maker, he'd use it.

"My mother says whatever amuses her most, and 'tis not usually worth it to question her meaning," Morrigan stated. "But if we are to discuss mothers, please, enlighten us about yours. Did she put your name in your socks for you, or did you start that after joining the Wardens?"

"My mother is dead, not that it's any of your business," Alistair said. Mildly. "The Templars put their names on their socks, it's how we keep them apart in the laundry, if you've ever heard of that at all."

"You cannot wash your own clothes, and thus, must rely on someone else to do it for you," she replied smartly. "Tell me, how does it feel not to know how to use soap?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Alistair asked. "I feel like I have to constantly move to stay upwind from you."

It was clear they had completely forgotten the point of the lesson by now.

Perhaps Alistair had, but Morrigan didn't expect much else from a baby Warden. "Let this be your first lesson," she sighed. "Always be sure to choose your own party members, least ye be stuck with someone less than desirable."

"Yeah, yeah, blah, blah," Alistair said, rolling his eyes. "Let's get around to the first exercises, shall we? 'I'm going on adventure, and I'm taking with me...'"

Comments

Sign In

[badnewsandwit.livejournal.com]

Like you're going on ADVENTURE.

Re: Sign In

[glacial_queen]

Karla

Listen to the Lecture

[badnewsandwit.livejournal.com]

Or bickering session, as 'tis.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[glacial_queen]

Ooookay. This was shaping up to be...a fairly typical Fandom class, actually.

Karla sat back and grinned a bit. And to think, she'd been afraid she'd missed out by not taking Deadpool's bantering class.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Quinn was doodling fireworks in her notebook and only half-listening at first, busy being irritated she had a class on the Fourth of July. It was all anti-freedom and stuff.

She eventually tuned in enough to decide she liked these two. The girl was sharp and the guy was hot, and she could think of worse ways to spend eight weeks than listening to them.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[selfhelphero]

Billy was pretty sure it wasn't nice to snicker at your teachers, especially on the first day, so he had his hand over his mouth to try to hide his expression.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

It took nearly everything Ariel had to keep from snorting or even giggling at the interplay between her two decidedly favorite teachers. So there was a bit of throat clearing, and a hand to her mouth, but she listened with an amused excitement that this class was going to be as fun and interesting as she'd expected it to be.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[walkswithcoyote]

Mercy's eyebrows had climbed as far up her forehead as they could manage while she listened to her instructors. This was going to be interesting.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[ancientbschamp.livejournal.com]

Gabrielle, just back from a bit of misadventure herself, could only sit back and laugh. This was going to be . . . very, very familiar.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[wwiii]

Warren was mostly just chewing on the inside of his cheek, trying not to look too obviously like he was amused.

Oh yeah, he'd almost forgotten what it was like when a class had more than one teacher around here.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[exactlyaverage.livejournal.com]

Jack sat like a good dog! Good dog! and listened attentively to the lecture.

Occasionally he would scratch his ear.

And also wonder what adventuring had anything to do with laundry.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

Hank watched the lecture contentedly, although he wasn't really listening. It was awesome that the two teachers were such good friends!!!

Exercise #1!

[badnewsandwit.livejournal.com]

"I'm going on adventure, and I'm taking with me..."

One of you start, the next one repeats what they said and adds in a second object, and so on!

Re: Exercise #1!

[glacial_queen]

"I'm going on an adventure and I'm taking with me..." Karla thought for a second, discarding several options and finished with, "...my bag of Healing supplies."

Exercise #2!

[badnewsandwit.livejournal.com]

What's the most life-threatening quest - big or little q - that has happened to you?

Morrigan finds this a lot less inane than Alistair's game.

Re: Exercise #2!

[glacial_queen]

Karla wished she didn't have so many to choose from. Let's see. There was the getting stabbed by the radscorpion...fighting off Trigon...the vampire world, even if that hadn't exactly been a quest...

"Can it be a tie?" The orgy had come the closest to actually killing her, but Agio had been the most terrifying. On so many levels.

Re: Exercise #2!

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

"Last summer we got sucked into different universes and I wound up in this gross place where there'd been a nuclear war," Quinn recounted. "There were these giant scorpion monsters and I think people were eating them for food. I had to smash them with a baseball bat so they wouldn't bite me."

Re: Exercise #2!

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

Wait, was he being literal?

"Well, I've never had anything really life-threatening happen to me," Miley prefaced. "But one time I lied to the DMV and I was in jail for, like, four and a half hours."

Re: Exercise #2!

[selfhelphero]

"Well, there was this one time I accidentally messed with the timestream and almost rewrote history. Um, I mean, not me exactly, but my friends and I, together. But we fixed it," Billy said quickly. "So everything's okay now."

Re: Exercise #2!

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

Presented with her turn to answer the question, Ariel looked a little thoughtful for a moment before finally coming up with what she felt was her best answer.

"Well," she said, "I've been chased by a few sharks before, and that can be pretty scary and life-threatening, but I think the biggest one happened last summer. It's what brought me here. I had been cursed by a witch, who was going to turn me into seaweed for her garden if I didn't manage to get someone to kiss me by the end of three months. She had my voice, too, which made it even more difficult, and it just about nearly happened, too, but Daddy found out what had happened and helped defeat Ursula so that she couldn't own my soul or bring ruin to the kingdom, which was her plan the whole time."

Re: Exercise #2!

[whitequeensfire.livejournal.com]

Angelica really wasn't comfortable with getting into details here, but she tried to vague it up as best she could. It was the only example she could think of, after all, since she'd been relatively sheltered all her life.

"Um, some of my classmates once tricked me into doing something bad," she said, "and we tried to take something that didn't belong to us. But the other people were really forgiving."

Except Professor X was supposed to be evil, so it had to be a trick of some sort.

Re: Exercise #2!

[walkswithcoyote]

"Most life-threatening quest?" Mercy had to think about that. "I can't say I was ever on a quest, well, unless you consider my vision quest to be one, but that wasn't exactly life-threatening." More very weird. And disappointing. And depressing.

"Most life-threatening experience... well, I did crash my guardian's Porsche into a tree... The crash didn't kill me, but I was pretty sure he was going to."

Exercise #3!

[badnewsandwit.livejournal.com]

"Actually, I'd much rather find out what the stupidest thing is that ever happened to you on a quest," Alistair said, throwing Morrigan the side-eye.

Re: Exercise #3!

[glacial_queen]

This was an easier question, sadly.

"Probably when I got kidnapped by gremlins, ended up the prisoner of a mad king in ridiculously tight pants, and then thrown into a giant hole when I tried to escape."

Talk to the Teachers

[badnewsandwit.livejournal.com]

Merry (wo)men that they are.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[badnewsandwit.livejournal.com]

Alistair was perfectly merry, thank you, and not at all throwing Morrigan big glarey glances.

OOC

[badnewsandwit.livejournal.com]

Murrr.