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survive the zombie apocalypse

Wednesday: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse - Period One

When the class entered the Dangershop today, they'd find that classroom had been transformed into a bowling alley.

And yes. There were zombies. In bowling shirts.

There was also Columbus who had not even realized that something strange had happened all weekend because he was too busy ~~playing WOW~~ working on a holographic guest teacher.

Standing behind Columbus was a tall man in a green duster, t-shirt and a cowboy hat looking for all the world that he'd rather be somewhere else than right here and now. He was also shooting Columbus dirty looks and muttering about moving on as soon as possible.

"Hey everyone," Columbus said cheerfully. "This here is a representation of a friend of mine from back home. Please give Tallahassee a warm welcome."

The holographic Tallahassee gave Columbus a dirty look and grunted in acknowledgement.

"Sometimes life in a zombie apocalypse can be a very solitary kind of life," Columbus continued. "But if you're lucky you can hook up with someone who can help you increase the odds of survival. Which is why I made up rule number eight."

Yep. Get ready for the block letters.

"You see," Columbus continued, "My friend Tallahassee is in the ass kicking business. And in Zombieland..."

Columbus looked over to Tallahassee to finish the line. Tallahassee frowned back. Columbus nudged Tallahassee a little to make him say something. Tallahassee in turned rolled his eyes.

"Business is good," Tallahassee said with a long sigh.

"So by increasing the odds-"

"Hold on," interrupted the holographic Tallahassee. He held up his hands and then pushed Columbus back a bit. "Now if you kids have been listening to this guy yammer for a while, you've probably figured out that's a bit of a bitch."

Columbus opened his mouth to object and Tallahassee quickly waved him away and went over to one of the bowling ball racks. "Hopefully you kids haven't picked up too many of his wussy ways. But if you have I have a lesson here for those of you who'd like to kill a zombie without a ton of blood. Not that there's anything wrong with a ton of blood. Especially if you want to paint your face afterward."

Columbus tried to object again. Tallahassee just ignored him as he dropped the bowling ball into a nearby backpack. "But if you're a bit squeamish you can try this."

Columbus sighed and clicked the remote. And large block letters appeared behind Tallahassee.

Rule # 15: Bowling Ball

"Now get yourself a bowling ball. Preferably about sixteen pounds. Don't use a little pink one. Now if you need to you can drop it from above or you can just put it in a sack swing it like this."

Tallahassee began to swing the the bowling ball around and around and tossed it at a nearby Zombie. "JENGA!"

Columbus gave a little cough. "As you can see having a partner around can certain help. Today I want you to hook up with a partner and-"

"Kick some ass!"

Columbus sighed. "Yes. Kick some ass."

[OCD is up!]

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Like you're about to kick some ass.

Topher Brink never looks like he's about to kick ass

Nathan Young

Chloe Saunders (or New York)

Surreal (Terreille)

~~Cally~~ Auron

Luke Castellan (Westport)

K-Mart (Georgia)

Annie Edison/Greendale, Colorado

Alex Aaron (New York, New York)

Edited 2011-06-08 22:02 (UTC)

Marshall Wheeler (Ottawa, Ontario)

Scully (Alexandria, Virginia)

Idris

Dave Nelson (Milwaukee, Wisconsin)

Krondor

Snow Valley, Massachusetts

And pick a partner for ass kicking

Topher listened. This class session, at least, didn't seem to be overly focused on cardio, so he was willing to participate. This time. Don't be getting high standards, Columbus.

So he peered around for a partner who wouldn't mind probably having a bowling ball land on their foot. Repeatedly.

K-Mart went for the guy who looked the most helpless in the room.

Sorry, Topher.

"Hi."

Oh, well, she looked tough, at least.

"Hey."

"Want to work together?" Because she wasn't going to inflict herself on the poor guy. "I wield a mean bowling ball."

Thank god. Topher could only really manage the seven-pound ones. Don't tell anyone.

"Sure," he said, shrugging. "Should warn you, my aim's not great."

How uncharacteristically nice of him to say.

While Nathan liked to talk big, he pretty much knew that he wasn't a great ass kicker and he never would be. He could take an ass kicking like a pro but he preferred letting other people do the fighting. That didn't stop him from glancing around for a partner though. There had to be plenty of ass kickers in this class.

Edited 2011-06-08 10:59 (UTC)

Surreal didn't really need a partner, but she'd let someone hide behind her if they really wanted.

For now, she was going to 'limber up' by tossing four of these heavy balls into the air and catching them with Craft, and send them rotating around her in a circle. Occasionally she'd flip one out and catch it again to practice the multitasking, but so far it was pretty easy.

So Alex was no longer a dog, which was great, and he was about to get to kick some butt, which was also great. He looked around for someone who might want to partner with him. He might look young and little, but he had skills. He could totally protect the less capable, just saying.

Alone or with a partner, James was ready. Siege engines would be better than a backpack for the bowling balls, but the island was short on those at the moment.

Maybe he could help rebuild it...

In the meantime, he looked around for someone to partner, if they wished.

The zombies are coming for you. Feel free to mod an encounter or leave an OOC note in your thread if you want an NPC zombie coming at you.

Surreal had her shield of bowling balls rotating around her as she stepped out into the bowling alley. When the first zombie charged her, one ball separated from the others with a wave of her hand, zooming out to smash its head in before taking out two more at the knees and returning to its orbit.

It was a silly display of Craft, and not as efficient as Surreal would be with just her knives, but it was fun and she needed the practice in multitasking.

If it involves a Twinkie you might get a hug from Tallahassee.

Who are totally here to help you.

Calvin could totally kick ass, really he could. Honest!

Alex was capable of kicking ass, oh yes. Hence her stylish and well designed boots.

One will talk to you. The other will probably grunt.

"Um, sir?" Alex said, approaching Columbus. "I'm really sorry about missing class. I was...well, I was a dog."

"Son?" Tallahassee said giving Alex a skeptical look. "That's the biggest load of horse manure I ever heard."

Columbus rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's not the first animal transformation I've heard on the island," he said to Alex. "Don't worry about the absence."

Tallahassee shook his head. "This is the most fucked up school I've ever seen."

"Thank you, sir," Alex said. "Is there anything I need to make up? Besides cardio training, I mean." Though he'd probably gotten plenty of that racing around like he was on speed before collapsing for a nap.

"I think being a dog makes up for any homework you'd need," Columbus said with a shrug.

Tallahassee? Totally down with the sombrero.

I would like to say that last week's class had me rolling once I saw it -- I WORK at Walmart.

And after a full shift, many of us are indeed zombies, lol.

Lifted from one of my favorite Zombieland sites. The actual lesson is here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_DYIUNdssYs84&feature=player_embedded).

Share and enjoy.

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Wednesday: Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse - Period One

Rule # 15: Bowling Ball

Sign in!

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Listen to the Lecture/Limber Up

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Kick some ass!

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Zombie Kill of the Week!

TA's!

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Talk to Columbus. Or Tallahassee

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OOC

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Today's Lesson: