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fandomhigh2011-06-02 06:32 pm
mouthy-merc.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2011-06-02 06:32 pm
Childcare for Idiots, Thursday
No very special guests in class this week it would appear. Because Deadpool was too awesome to need another team up.
"Today we're gonna talk about something that happens with all kids," Deadpool said, arms crossed over his chest like this was totally serious business. "Unless they're overly precocious little monsters that are biding their time, lulling you into a false sense of security before they stab you to death while you sleep."
Wasn't he just cheery?
"I'm talking, of course, about temper tantrums."
Clearly!
"They can happen for any number of reasons," he continued. "They're sleepy, they're bored, they feel like pushing boundaries today, or just because they wanna. Children are insidious and less predictable than me. And that's sayin' something."
Luckily Jan was busy pretending to read a book about gay, gay penguins and had nothing to contribute to this class as an example. Or maybe she was biding her time. God help us all.
"So, how do you respond?" Deadpool asked. "Not like a bitch ass parents on those stupid Nanny 911 shows, that's for sure. God, I hate them with every fiber of my being. So, I wanna hear what you think should be done when dealing with a tantrum. Get into groups of two and discuss. Just remember that logic and reason ate useless with kids. Useless, I say!"
"Today we're gonna talk about something that happens with all kids," Deadpool said, arms crossed over his chest like this was totally serious business. "Unless they're overly precocious little monsters that are biding their time, lulling you into a false sense of security before they stab you to death while you sleep."
Wasn't he just cheery?
"I'm talking, of course, about temper tantrums."
Clearly!
"They can happen for any number of reasons," he continued. "They're sleepy, they're bored, they feel like pushing boundaries today, or just because they wanna. Children are insidious and less predictable than me. And that's sayin' something."
Luckily Jan was busy pretending to read a book about gay, gay penguins and had nothing to contribute to this class as an example. Or maybe she was biding her time. God help us all.
"So, how do you respond?" Deadpool asked. "Not like a bitch ass parents on those stupid Nanny 911 shows, that's for sure. God, I hate them with every fiber of my being. So, I wanna hear what you think should be done when dealing with a tantrum. Get into groups of two and discuss. Just remember that logic and reason ate useless with kids. Useless, I say!"
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Or maybe that was just Sam.
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The look on Jack's face might show those memories coming back to him.
"Well... Sure, they might try that," Jack reasoned, " You just have to make sure you set boundaries."
Like the time he put his daughter in a jail cell. Yep. Father of the year material right here, folks.
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"Uh huh. Boundaries."
She clearly didn't put much stock in boundaries.
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"Ignore them," she said. "They'll get tired of screaming an' yelling eventually, and then they'll figure out that it doesn't get 'em anything."
For instance, if it weren't for the fact that Carly broke down every single time, Sam might have given up on throwing tantrums ages ago.
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Then paused.
Then slumped back in his seat. "Crap. That's a good idea."
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