fandomhigh | Cupcake War Crimes, Week 4 [Tuesday, Period 1]

The classroom setup should be familiar to everyone by now; the remaining mystery was what kind of cupcakes were lurking beneath the covered plates on the front counter.

“Back to the savory cupcakes today,” Anders began once the class had assembled. “We’re pretty sure we’ve covered how out there these things can get, but why not go over it again?” Really. Why not experience the true horror one more time?

Some people (say, Stark for example) might not want to experience horror quite so often, Anders. “We wanted to make sure it was all clear. Very, very, very clear.” And with today’s cupcakes it ought to be clear. Maybe not to Sam, but to most people in the class.

With a barely suppressed shudder, Stark turned to reveal this week’s crimes against baked goods. “Fish. Again. Not the little red candy ones. Real ones. Ones that used to swim. Inside the cupcakes. They didn’t swim inside the cupcakes,” that would be really weird, “they’re inside the cakes now. These used to be tuna, before they were cupcakes. Now they’re tuna cupcakes.”

Anders eyed him indulgently, then reached over to pat him on the shoulder. “Same goes for the escargot ones. I think we can at least all agree that these are really wrong?” Gods, he hoped so. If anybody defended these, he might cry.

Don’t worry Anders, Stark will be joining you with tears of his own in that case. “You didn’t make those up yourself, did you?” Stark asked, eyeing Anders warily. He hoped not. That might inspire even more tears, and the poor alien only had the one eye to cry with.

So basically, let’s not make anyone cry, kids, okay? Anders looked a little hurt when he turned to Stark, though. “Would I ever do that?” He felt he had a right to sound horrified about it. “It wasn’t me. But someone did.”

“I just wanted to be sure,” Stark said. “Sorry. Sorry.” Quick, on to less distressing topics and cupcakes! The next tray, which Stark was hurriedly uncovering, was almost guaranteed not to cause any tears. “These snail cupcakes are better.” And also kind of adorable. “Since they don’t contain any real snails.”

“Just a nice frosting job,” Anders agreed, setting a bowl out on the counter. “But we found these fancy chocolate snail-shell things you can use to decorate. Guaranteed snail free.”

“And we didn’t forget last week,” Stark said. Even though some cupcakes had been somewhat forgettable. And the winner was...”Lion-O,” Stark said, looking down at the note in front of him. “Had the week’s best cupcake.”

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"I'm actually not at all sure," Bod admitted, giving the Swedish fish a look. "Perhaps it's their country of origin?"

"How exotic!" Rilla exclaimed. "And far better in cupcakes than genuine fish. I really worry about some people in this course."

"While I'd rather avoid genuine fish in my cupcakes as well, I think some out of the ordinary things could be all right in cupcakes," Bod remarked, adding some ingredients together in a bowl. "For instance, bacon is apparently good in anything."

"Bacon is delicious at breakfast," Rilla began, "but I'm still a little wary about making it dessert."

"I've seen the diner include it in desserts," Bod explained, nodding, "and I've actually tried bacon covered in chocolate. It's actually quite good, if you can believe it."

"I'm not sure I can," Rilla laughed. "Perhaps I'll stop by the diner and you can convince me."

"It's definitely not for everyone but I'd be happy to try and convince you should you come by," Bod agreed. "I think I'm going to stick with something simple and sweet in these cupcakes though. The tuna fish would be better on a sandwich."

"Or as bait," Rilla added, wrinkling her nose. "Something chocolate, perhaps?"

"Chocolate....in the tuna fish?" Bod asked, unfortunately not following the path of the conversation.

"Oh, heavens no," Rilla laughed. "That would be a disaster, and a waste of chocolate."

"All right, just checking," Bod laughed, relieved. "I wasn't quite sure what you were going for there but I was willing to try if you recommended it."

"That's very daring of you," she teased. "I've gotten pretty knacky at making cake and shortbread, but I don't think I'm ready to face chocolate-covered fish."

"What sort of cupcakes were you thinking of making today?" Bod asked curiously. "Something complicated?"

"Oh, no," Rilla said. "Last week was as complicated as I've ever gotten by adding zucchini."

"How did those cupcakes turn out?" Bod asked curiously. "Were they good?"

"Surprisingly so," Rilla replied. "Usually I have to make up for bad cake with good icing."

"Oh, I'm sure your cakes are fine," Bod assured her, nodding. "You're being too hard on yourself."

"Well, they're better than Karla's, in any event," Rilla replied.

Cupcake War Crimes, Week 4 [Tuesday, Period 1]

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