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fandomhigh2011-05-30 11:49 pm
stykera) wrote in fandomhigh2011-05-30 11:49 pm
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Cupcake War Crimes, Week 4 [Tuesday, Period 1]
The classroom setup should be familiar to everyone by now; the remaining mystery was what kind of cupcakes were lurking beneath the covered plates on the front counter.
“Back to the savory cupcakes today,” Anders began once the class had assembled. “We’re pretty sure we’ve covered how out there these things can get, but why not go over it again?” Really. Why not experience the true horror one more time?
Some people (say, Stark for example) might not want to experience horror quite so often, Anders. “We wanted to make sure it was all clear. Very, very, very clear.” And with today’s cupcakes it ought to be clear. Maybe not to Sam, but to most people in the class.
With a barely suppressed shudder, Stark turned to reveal this week’s crimes against baked goods. “Fish. Again. Not the little red candy ones. Real ones. Ones that used to swim. Inside the cupcakes. They didn’t swim inside the cupcakes,” that would be really weird, “they’re inside the cakes now. These used to be tuna, before they were cupcakes. Now they’re tuna cupcakes.”
Anders eyed him indulgently, then reached over to pat him on the shoulder. “Same goes for the escargot ones. I think we can at least all agree that these are really wrong?” Gods, he hoped so. If anybody defended these, he might cry.
Don’t worry Anders, Stark will be joining you with tears of his own in that case. “You didn’t make those up yourself, did you?” Stark asked, eyeing Anders warily. He hoped not. That might inspire even more tears, and the poor alien only had the one eye to cry with.
So basically, let’s not make anyone cry, kids, okay? Anders looked a little hurt when he turned to Stark, though. “Would I ever do that?” He felt he had a right to sound horrified about it. “It wasn’t me. But someone did.”
“I just wanted to be sure,” Stark said. “Sorry. Sorry.” Quick, on to less distressing topics and cupcakes! The next tray, which Stark was hurriedly uncovering, was almost guaranteed not to cause any tears. “These snail cupcakes are better.” And also kind of adorable. “Since they don’t contain any real snails.”
“Just a nice frosting job,” Anders agreed, setting a bowl out on the counter. “But we found these fancy chocolate snail-shell things you can use to decorate. Guaranteed snail free.”
“And we didn’t forget last week,” Stark said. Even though some cupcakes had been somewhat forgettable. And the winner was...”Lion-O,” Stark said, looking down at the note in front of him. “Had the week’s best cupcake.”
[Standard availability disclaimers apply]
“Back to the savory cupcakes today,” Anders began once the class had assembled. “We’re pretty sure we’ve covered how out there these things can get, but why not go over it again?” Really. Why not experience the true horror one more time?
Some people (say, Stark for example) might not want to experience horror quite so often, Anders. “We wanted to make sure it was all clear. Very, very, very clear.” And with today’s cupcakes it ought to be clear. Maybe not to Sam, but to most people in the class.
With a barely suppressed shudder, Stark turned to reveal this week’s crimes against baked goods. “Fish. Again. Not the little red candy ones. Real ones. Ones that used to swim. Inside the cupcakes. They didn’t swim inside the cupcakes,” that would be really weird, “they’re inside the cakes now. These used to be tuna, before they were cupcakes. Now they’re tuna cupcakes.”
Anders eyed him indulgently, then reached over to pat him on the shoulder. “Same goes for the escargot ones. I think we can at least all agree that these are really wrong?” Gods, he hoped so. If anybody defended these, he might cry.
Don’t worry Anders, Stark will be joining you with tears of his own in that case. “You didn’t make those up yourself, did you?” Stark asked, eyeing Anders warily. He hoped not. That might inspire even more tears, and the poor alien only had the one eye to cry with.
So basically, let’s not make anyone cry, kids, okay? Anders looked a little hurt when he turned to Stark, though. “Would I ever do that?” He felt he had a right to sound horrified about it. “It wasn’t me. But someone did.”
“I just wanted to be sure,” Stark said. “Sorry. Sorry.” Quick, on to less distressing topics and cupcakes! The next tray, which Stark was hurriedly uncovering, was almost guaranteed not to cause any tears. “These snail cupcakes are better.” And also kind of adorable. “Since they don’t contain any real snails.”
“Just a nice frosting job,” Anders agreed, setting a bowl out on the counter. “But we found these fancy chocolate snail-shell things you can use to decorate. Guaranteed snail free.”
“And we didn’t forget last week,” Stark said. Even though some cupcakes had been somewhat forgettable. And the winner was...”Lion-O,” Stark said, looking down at the note in front of him. “Had the week’s best cupcake.”
[Standard availability disclaimers apply]
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