fandomhigh | Life's a Circus, Friday, Second Period

When the students made their way to the Danger Shop today, they would see a note on the door saying "Here Be Clowns." That was all the warning you were getting, coulrophobics.

When the students were all inside the shop (and inside the virtual circus tent), Dick started the lesson. "Let's talk about clowns. First off, if you ever see one who looks like this guy," Dick said, pushing a button on the shop remote to display a projection of a joyfully psychotic-looking man with a white face and green hair, "run. He's a lunatic and a murderer and he can do real damage. Any Gotham City kids in here hopefully know what I'm talking about."

"Sorry, it's just a civic duty to mention that if I'm talking about the clowns in a place where the Joker might theoretically appear someday," Dick said, turning the projection off. He hit another button and a much less murderous-looking clown appeared. "But that's not really what I want to talk about with clowns. What I really want to talk about is teamwork. I don't know if you've ever met a solitary clown, but it's a little sad. Kids are never really going to react the way the clown wants. At best, he does some magic, makes some balloon animals, and then repeats for the length of a birthday party." The clown put a balloon hat on Dick.

Dick just nodded a thank you to the clown and pressed the button a few more times.

"But if you bring more clowns into it, then they can play off of each other. If you hit a kid in the face with a pie, all of the other kids are going to laugh at him and he's going to cry. If you hit a clown in the face with a pie, not only can he take it without crying, but he can play with it," Dick said. One of the clowns handed another a pie, which was then thrown at a third clown. The first clown brought the third one a bottle of seltzer for revenge, but it was pointed toward him. When he tried spraying the seltzer, it sprayed right in his face.

Fortunately, it cleaned most of the pie off.

"Okay, maybe it's not hilarious, but it's better than the sad, solitary clown," Dick admitted before pressing a different button.. "When you're talking about a team of clowns in the circus, you inevitably come to the clown car. It's a ridiculously small car - usually a VW bug, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were minis or Smart Cars being used now - packed with way more clowns than is at all reasonable. And just when you start to wonder how so many clowns fit in there in the first place, they all start piling out."

Seven VW bugs packed with clowns drove down from the far end of the circus tent

"But what happens if the cars have a little bit of a breakdown?" Dick asked, pressing another button on the remote, blowing out a tire on each of the clown cars, sending them into a horrible skid right at each other... but with each one missing somehow.

The last car did crash into a table filled with whipped cream pies, though, so at least a mess was made over there. It was something, right?

"And now it comes down to teamwork for you guys. Whether you're trying to help the clowns get to the end of the show or just trying to get them out of here because they're creeping you out, it's up to you to fix their blown tires to get them on their way. Team up. That's going to be key, especially if you don't know much about fixing tires."

And since the clown cars were tiny and had clowns where a spare tire would be, another clown - stuck through seven tires - came rolling toward the cars. "Bonko there has all the tools you'll need. Just give him a minute to let the dizziness wear off."

"Oh, and before I forget, there is a barrel full of clown costumes over there if you want to dress the part. Now get to work. You have clowns to help!"

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"That tire iron you have will do the trick. The roundish end goes on the lug nuts," he pointed them out, "and then you turn it to get them to come off. They keep the tire on."

Sam leaned over to look, nodding along. One of the clowns leaned over her shoulder, mimicking her every move. Sam elbowed it in the bright red nose.

"Right. So we get those off, then put the new tire on, and that's it?"

Jack admired her clown handiwork. "That's it. You're the one with the tire iron. Give it a try."

"You totally could've done that yourself," Sam told the clown. She put the tire iron on one of the lug nuts and wrenched. "Holy chiz, that's tight!" She wrenched harder, but instead of getting the bolt loose, she broke the whole lug nut off at the wheel.

"Uh, was it supposed to do that?"

"Nnno. It's kind of broken now." Jack laughed. "Must have been rusty. They're probably going to have to get new rims. Want to sit here and pretend to be busy for the rest of the period?"

Sam tossed the iron aside. "That's what I do best."

Jack turned and took a seat against the car, propping one arm up with his knee. "I'm Jack by the way."

Sam plopped down across from him. "Nice to meetcha, Jack. I'm Sam."

"Sam from where?"

"Seattle. And let me guess, you're from . . . Jupiter?"

"You got it in one. South Jupiter. Right near the big red spot. How did you guess?"

"Well, you've got that thick South Jupiter accent."

"I try to kick it, but it keeps coming through loud and clear."

"It's very distinctive. Luckily, lots of people think accents are hot."

"Even a South Jupiter accent? I don't know if I've ever had my accent called hot."

"You know, I never got that. Some girls are all 'accents are hot!' but they really only mean fancy shmancy foreign accents."

"South Jupiter counts as foreign, right?"

"Yes, but is it fancy shmancy?"

"The fanciest. Out of this world fancy."

"Well, there you go then. It's hot."

Jack rested his hands behind his head and pretended to look impressed with his made up accent being hot. "I'll live by your judgment on the accent."

"That's a good choice, I have excellent judgement."

"Sam from Seattle of the Excellent Judgment. Have you noticed how a South Jupiter accents sounds a lot like a Missouri accent?"

"Does it?" Sam wasn't actually very good at accents. She smiled. "Wow, that's a hell of a coincidence. Maybe that's where all the Jupiter pioneers settled."

"Must have been. Nice little state, plenty of land to keep everyone happy. Not as much rain as Seattle," he pointed out. "This weather must be a big change."

Re: Teamwork!

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