fandomhigh | Science is Awesome!!!, Class #12, Period 3, March 29th

When the students walked into the room for their Science class today, they might notice that their teacher was taller than the norm. And less bouncy. And seemed to have a penchant for wearing suits, rather than a great deal of orange and green in tandem. What the hell was Reno doing here, anyhow? He was hunched over the syllabus, trying to puzzle that one out, himself.

"Oooh. Yeah, I got this." A pause, and then he blinked up at the students as they came in. "Yo, Rikku's Rookies! Your teacher today seems like she picked up whatever the hell it was that I had last week, so while she's tryin' to manoeuvre around a stupid cat on her way to puke her guts out, I'm coverin' for today. Don't worry, I know your topic today. Pretty well, if I do say so myself, yo."

And he did say so himself, yes.

"Today, we're talkin' about the environment, and how people are just a bunch'a dumbasses out there screwin' it the hell up when they could be doin' a bunch'a little things to make it last a little longer. See, the whole damn Planet ain't a renewable resource- that's somethin' that nature can make more of, after usin' some of it up. A lot of agricultural products? They’re sustainable, if you take care of what you’re doin', so that makes 'em renewable. Solar energy and geothermal power? Yeah, them too. Hydro power and biofuels? I think you're startin' to follow me, here. We can take and take and take, and so long as we ain't absolute idiots about it, there'll be more to keep on takin' again, later, yo.

"On the other hand, you got non-renewable resources, too. Shit like coal and oil and … yeah, you guys don't have mako power here on Earth, but you get my drift. The world ain't gonna make more of that once you use it up and drain it dry, yo. Hell, even the renewable stuff ain't all that renewable if you abuse the hell out of it. I'm sayin' agricultural products like it's always handled right, but how many of you guys knew that chocolate's gonna be pretty much extinct within twenty years? Yep, mankind's abusin' the crap out of it, clear-cuttin' rainforests and hybridizin' it in order to get it faster, so it's causin' the soil to erode away and shortening the natural lifespan of the cacao plant. Take a moment and think that one over, yo."

It would, indeed, be a very bleak world without chocolate. Humanity should live in terror, now.

"So, this week, your mission, like it or not, is gonna be to pair off, come up with a handful of natural resources that affect your life from day-to-day, an' figure out which category it goes in. Renewable, non-renewable, or sustainable. Renewable is somethin' that nature will bring back over an' over, sustainable is somethin' that we can use up and replace, so long as we're bein' careful about it, and non-renewable is all that shit that we're really, really gonna be up shit creek over, because you ain't never seein' it again once it's gone."

[OCD ~~Coming, please hold~~ up! Go forth and do Science!!!]

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Non-Renewably.

Chloe Saunders

William Murdoch

Harper Finkle

Juliet Darling

Momoko Akatsutsumi

Lindsay Weir

Hank Venture

Marvel that Reno actually knows what the hell he's talking about in a science class.

Or just commence living your life in fear for the impending chocopocalypse.

He had her. The possibility of there being a world with no chocolate was terrifying enough and she'd never even thought about that, but the idea that they would run out?! Totally stuff her nightmares were made of.

She'd be over here blinking in horror, thank you.

Hank noticed her expression and nodded. "We must all prepare for the coming chocopocalypse," he said hoarsely, in a dark, forbidding tone of voice. "When all men will become slaves for their evil Hershey overlords."

"You knew about this?" She gasped. "No more chocolate cake?!"

"I know many things," Hank answered in the same dark voice. (Although no, he really didn't.) "There will be cake, but not chocolate. And only thirty flavors of ice cream."

Well, yeah, if you had no chocolate, that cut down on your flavours pretty harshly. Not that Momoko took the 'news' any better for understanding it.

"But if people know, why isn't someone doing anything about it! This is important!!"

Edited 2011-03-30 02:07 (UTC)

Hank leaned closer and his voice dropped to a whisper. "Have you ever heard of something called... carob? Oh, yes. When chocolate is gone, the forces of carob shall rise."

"But carob is totally different from chocolate!" THIS WAS NOT GETTING BETTER!

Hank burst out laughing. "I can't believe you FELL for that!!! I mean, Chocopocalypse, seriously? I'm just messin' with you!"

"Reno said there was." Momoko narrowed her eyes, wishing she was able to hit Hank for laughing at her. Well, honestly, Reno probably wouldn't mind if she did, right?

"Yeah, well, Reno's probably wrong," Hank reassured her. "You can't run out of chocolate! That would be like running out of... I dunno, gasoline or something!"

Oh, the irony.

"I'll totally believe Reno over you any day, sorry!" Momoko snorted. "And you can totally run out of stuff! That's why you have to make sure to recycle, so you don't use up everything making new ones." Sort of.

"I really don't want to know how you recycle chocolate!" Hank countered.

"EW!" Momoko tossed her pencil at him, aiming for his arm and hoping Reno wasn't looking. "I wasn't talking about chocolate anymore!"

What do you use on a daily basis? Is the food you eat a product of sustainable farming methods? What about the clothes you wear? Wool and cotton are a very different creature from polyester, after all. How about the zinc and copper in your Duracells? The paper in your comic books?

Talk with a partner about all of the things that you go through in a day, here or from wherever you come from. Feel free to brainstorm more environmentally-friendly ways to get yourself through the day, if you're feeling all ambitious an' shit, too.

"And THAT," Hank told the class in a public-service-announcement tone of voice, "is why you should always recycle!"

No, he hadn't even come close to answering the question. Shush.

Noise pollution probably doesn’t factor into any of this lecture, does it? He can probably let you know!

William was here, mulling over the fate of coal and oil in the future.

Wonder if whatever makes his hair that color is a renewable resource. Probably. He swears up and down that it's natural and managed to keep it that freakish shade of red in the wake of total environmental disaster, after all.

Your regularly scheduled Al Bhed was floored with a wave of Crazy Insane Tuesday! She'll be back next week to talk about all of that sciencey stuff that you so love, with far better grammar than Reno and less of a tendency to say things like, "An' shit, yo."

Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be sitting here, dreading a chocolate-free life twenty years down the road.

HOARDING STARTS NOW, ZOMG

I KNOW, RIGHT? GET ALL THE CHOCOLATE YOU CAN NOW, WHILE IT IS STILL THERE.

Thank you. My Tuesday is doing much better now. You continue to be so awesome that it breaks all known scales. ♥ ♥ ♥

Even if I make you aware of the dreaded chocopocalypse?

Better that I know now. I can go to Hershey, PA and stockpile.

That's the ticket! \o/

Science is Awesome!!!, Class #12, Period 3, March 29th

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Renewable, Non-Renewable, or Sustainable?

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