fandomhigh | Philosophy Classroom, office hours

Maia thinks long and hard before she answers. "I don't think either was wrong Tara. She lied to me, I had to lie to her to test it. I could not do one without the other." Maia glanced down at her hands. "Ok different one then. When I took my ACT scores, I was really stressed, I didn't mean for it to happen but I saw the answers. I panicked and could only see the answers so I wrote down what I saw. I couldn't even think straight to work on the problems to see how the answers worked I just filled them in. That was wrong, it was evil of me to do. I was sick about it for days so I redid the ACT test a few months later and still scored really well but well.. the perfect scores had already been sent out because you know you have to chose where they go before you send them." Maia frowned then looked nervous. "I did try to make it right though Tara and I sent the other scores to the schools but they kinda thought it was crazy to send out the lesser scores after the perfect ones had been sent out." Maia shrugged. "It wasn't my fault, it happened once more here at school but I made myself fail the test actually." Maia looks sad "I should have forced myself to fail the ACT but I-I was stupid and I panicked and I have regreted it ever since. Does that qualify for evil? That one moment of weakness that I had?"

((OOC: ok MUN feels bad now because I don't want to stress Tara or make her feel bad etc.. but I want Maia honest with Tara in all things and since Tara was not here at the beginning when Maia had the ACT discussion I dunno I felt like Maia was hiding something from Tara *Frowns* but I do not want a major angst moment or a plot out of this. Maia is simply answering her assignment because she didn't like her answer to the first part... shall she answer differently if Tara is going to get upset etc or if Tara will now distrust Maia I do not want that... I tried to show Maia had suffered enough for her mistake. I'll delete this if you want I just worried you thought Maia was building up to a plot or something in the other thread. Trust me I promised nothing involving Tara without your total approval and I want no angst for Maia for a long time.))

Tara frowns at Maia seriously. "I'm concerned about the way you phrase yourself, Maia. You said 'it was evil of me to do'. Yes, it could be viewed that way - but you didn't do it on purpose, and you tried to fix it afterwards. I know you can't control the visions. It certainly counts for the purposes of this question, but can we step away from that for a moment? Do you think your genuine mistake was evil?"

((OOC: No, thanks for telling her. Better to tell now than have her hear rumours of Maia abusing her powers. Tara wouldn't blame her for an accident, but if she was doing it deliberately to skate by in class they'd have issues. Thanks for clarifying OOC, as well, I appreciate it.))

Maia looks at Tara "No I don't." Maia thinks for a moment "But I think now that maybe what I did to my aunt was evil because I could control what I said to her and I said the Giants would win and they didn't."

Tara nods. "Okay, I'm going to let you think about that one on your own. But the point of this question is that no-one, no matter how good or virtuous, can escape someone thinking that something they've done is evil. Good, and evil, depend on your perspective. It's called moral relativism."

She smiles. "Ready for the second question?

Maia nods slowly "Yeah."

Tara nods at Maia, her body language warning that this question might not be easy. "Under what circumstances would you, personally, be willing to kill someone?"

Maia looks at Tara questioningly, she shifts in her seat uncomfortably. "Uh." She thinks for a few minutes. "I think if they were going to hurt someone I cared about. If there was no other option avaliable I mean."

Tara cocks her head, pressing the point but keeping her voice soft. "How badly would that hurt have to be for you to justify killing them? Death? Rape? Torture?"

Maia bites her lip thinking. "Um, I think torture or rape would, would be enough for me I think to want to kill someone. I think if they violated someone I cared about in any way really would justify it for me." Maia twisted her hands together slightly in her lap. "What would it take for you?" She said finally looking up into Tara's eyes.

Tara lets out a brief huff of laughter. "You know, you're the first person to turn the question back on to me." She thinks, closing her eyes. "I would kill to spare someone pain and suffering they stood no chance of recovering from. I would kill the torture victim, to release them, but I don't think I could kill the torturer. I would kill to save the life of someone I loved, but only if they had not provoked the attack. I would kill if I could guarantee that that death would be for the greater benefit."

Maia stayed looking at Tara. "Would you kill who did that to you?" Maia's eyes flicked to where she knew Tara's scar was. Maia returns her gaze to Tara's eyes barely breathing, treading carefully to keep Tara from being hurt.

Tara looks back into Maia's eyes, her own sad. "No. I would not."

Maia's eyes seem to blaze. "I would." She said simply, she was sorry to have been the reason Tara's eyes looked so sad. "He deserves it."

Maia sat quietly for a moment thinking back to the day in the park when Tara had cried. Maia suddenly felt awful for even questioning Tara. "I'm sorry Tara, I-" Maia cut herself off and just watched Tara. She remember the pain in Tara's voice in the park, the bits of words that she had spoken (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fandomtownies/168175.html?thread=5553135#t5553135) that didn't really make sense to Maia but made sense to Tara.

"No, sweetie," Tara shakes her head. "He didn't deserve it. He was angry, and scared, and lost. He needed help, not death." She drops her head, trying to find the words to explain.

"Maia, people don't just kill people. If it's not mercy, or self defence - there's still another reason. Killing them doesn't help them, and it doesn't help the person who does the killing. And once you've taken a life, it changes everything. Everything."

Maia looked sad, she had seen people over and over again killed in her dreams, in her thoughts, she did not know them and after a while she did not feel for them. She tried to picture Tara dying, Phoebe dying, her friends the people she cared about..

Maia shook her head. "I think, if someone killed somebody I loved and cared about, I don't think I would think about the consequences I would just want to kill them for causing me to lose someone I loved. I would not care about their reasons." Maia had not taken her eyes from Tara. "The man who killed you, someone killed him for what he did to you?"

Tara nods, setting her jaw. "Yes, Maia. Someone did. And in the process, she destroyed everything I loved about her. She died when she killed him, and left someone I don't know walking around in her skin."

She sighs, rubbing her hands over her face for a moment. "What you're talking about it revenge. It's for you, not for your loved one. You can't bring them back, you just want to visit pain upon pain. It's a normal human reaction, but there's nothing noble about it."

Maia frowned slightly. "I don't think I would be able to let someone live that did that Tara." Maia looked sadder. "Does- does that make me evil? That I would not care their reason, that if someone right now would walk in this office and shoot you I would take their gun and kill them without even giving it a thought? Does revenge make me evil?" Maia had a worried edge to her voice now.

Tara shakes her head. "We talk about good and evil in class, Maia, but I'm not sure evil really exists. But it doesn't make you good, and I wouldn't thank you for it. I mean, I'd be dead - again - so I couldn't thank you, but I wouldn't if I could. And you should give it a thought." She sighs. "Maia, have you ever killed before? Deliberately ended a life, even an animal's life?"

Maia looked sad at the thought of even a hypothetical situation in which Tara would be upset with her. "No I havent actually." Maia looks thoughtful for a moment as though weighing something out. "No I havent deliberately ended any life." She looks up at Tara "Have you?"

Tara nods. "I have. Just once. There was a demon trying to kill my girlfriend. I stuck an axe through its back. I'd do it again - its life meant nothing next to hers, even though I'm sure it had a family that loved it and a partner who would mourn for its death. But it changes everything, Maia. There's an innocence that is taken away, and you can't get it back."

Maia looks surprised at this revelation and Tara's reasoning. "So even though you would lose that innocence and know that it changes everything, you would still do it." Maia says more like a statment then a question. "Just like I wouldn't think twice about protecting someone I love or have revenge on something that hurt someone I loved." Maia ponders this for a few moments. "Is there a difference then in my feelings and yours?"

"For me, yes." Tara shrugs. "There's a difference between acting to save a life, and taking revenge for something that's already happened. Whether your loved one is dead or just hurt, it doesn't benefit them for you to take revenge. That's a purely selfish reaction."

Maia rubs her face for a moment thinking about everything Tara was saying and weighing it all in her mind. It made sense but she knew deep down her reaction would be to want to hurt the person who hurt one of her loved ones. "What if-" Maia stops then nods knowing that no matter what avenue she stated it, it was still selfish. Maia sighed. "What if you save one life and lose another and you save that life knowing the other person will die because you have done that. Is that selfish as well?"

Tara cocks her head, thinking. "It's a horrible thing to have to decide who lives and who dies. Is it selfish? I guess that depends on why you make the choice you make."

"Simple you base the choice on the fact that you save the one that you love and the other person is a total stranger." Maia said matter of factly.

Philosophy Classroom, office hours

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