fandomhigh | Home Ec 11, Period 4, 3/23

"So, okay, you can boil pasta and pan-fry something to go with it," Steve said. "You can probably keep yourself alive. Now we're going to move on to a very versatile cooking method: roasting. There are two different ways this works--one with lower temperatures and one with higher ones--but both involve sticking something in the oven, so. Low-temperature, long time period roasting is great because you don't have to fiddle with dinner, you just stick it in the oven and forget about it for a while, because that's what roasting is, cooking something other than bread in the oven. A baked potato? Actually roasted. So are oven fries. You can also roast carrots or asparagus, along with a number of other vegetables. And, of course, we can't forget about the meats. Roasting is great for larger cuts of meat, such as a whole chicken or a pot roast."

Steve paused to hand out a packet including all of these recipes for them to try later if they were brave and hungry, then said, "Now, since roasting takes a long time and this class is only an hour long, we don't really have time to make pot roast or even a baked potato, since they cook for an hour and, well. Class already started. So instead we're going to make what time allows for: roast carrots. They're delicious, make an excellent and versatile side dish, and they're good for you. What's not to like?" Steve walked them through a step-by-step demonstration of how to make roast carrots. "Now, break up into pairs and get to work."

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Because Tony was, as they say, le stupid. And needed an ass-kicking to learn not to do such dumb things.

"We both know that's not true."

Steve knowing Tonys so well worked against Tony more often than not. "Then let's go with, I know what you'll do if I teach you."

"...not get my ass kicked?"

Ahahahahaha. He dreamed big.

Steve was just going to. Look sad at him.

"You know what sort of thing I have coming," Tony insisted. "And I need to be prepared."

And stuff.

Steve, you can thank Ender for getting him to that point at least.

Steve knew he was a teenager and given to overdramatics, but it was this kind of attitude that had led Tony down the path of the SHRA, and it creeped him out a little. But he was going to push right past that, because holding this Tony accountable for that one's actions would be wrong. "You're a kid."

"I'm a teenager," Tony corrected. Like that made any difference. "And... Ender might have pointed out that I can build anything I want, but I can't use it without some kind of training. And you know about the fighting part of this sort of--life."

"You shouldn't be fighting anything! Especially not now!" God, it was like talking to a wall.

"...but I am." Or will be soon. "So wouldn't it be better to be ready for what's coming next?"

"But you shouldn't be," Steve repeated, like maybe that would get through to him. "And I don't even know what's coming next. Your reality could turn out to be completely boring if you stop stirring up trouble." Ha bloody ha.

"Then you're just teaching me not to get beat up or something," Tony replied. "Which is also good. Normal kids take self defense."

From Captain America.

Steve sighed. "See, if I could believe you wouldn't go out looking for trouble it would be one thing." The 'but' was heavily implied.

"I'm not going to look for trouble," Tony insisted. Because the Marvel universe tended to throw it at him! "I--won't even use the suit unless it's an emergency."

What constituted an emergency?

"'I'm bored' is not an emergency."

"I know that," Tony grumbled.

Did he? Did he really? Steve sighed, folded his arms, and studied Tony for a long, intense moment. It was probably a little intimidating. Then, harboring no delusions whatsoever that he would be obeyed, he said, "You'll do exactly what I tell you."

It wasn't fair to give him a stare down, you know. Tony didn't have nearly enough years to stand up to it. "...is that a yes?"

Yes, but his youth was the precise reason he was getting the staredown, so. Maybe it would get through to him where words totally wouldn't. "Yes," Steve sighed. "I'll teach you to defend yourself." God help him.

"Awesome!" Tony grinned, holding up a hand for a highfive before remembering that Steve was a teacher, then very smoothly put it back down.

Smooooth.

"You won't regret it."

Edited 2011-03-24 01:33 (UTC)

Steve eyed Tony's hand, amusement biting at the edges of his stern expression. "Be sure that I don't," he said.

Somehow, he suspected Tony would before he was through with him, though.

Tony's poor, poor muscles would object a whole lot by the time the first day was through.

"So, when do we start?"

Steve would count it a success if he cried. Or puked. It was like boot camp that way.

"How about Sunday afternoon?" Steve suggested.

"I can manage Sunday," Tony replied with a grin. "So... can I ask another question?"

OH GOD, JUST RUN, STEVE. RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

What was this sense of doom creeping up Steve's spine? Why did he still open his mouth and say, "What?"

"So... planning a date for a girl."

Yes, there was the doom. Feel it, Steve. Feeeel it.

"Do you know what they like?"

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