fandomhigh | Classrooms Around Campus, All Day Saturday

Classrooms Around Campus, All Day Saturday

It was Saturday, and that meant Career Day! Unbeknownst to all the students who had taken the career placement test, Fandom had apparently conspired to place them all in workshops that didn't quite fit the answers they gave for their tests. The island was tricky that way. Not to mention that the workshops that the island had planned were somewhat different from the workshops an ordinary school might offer on Career Day. As in quite a lot different.

So the classrooms all around the school were filled with visitors from off-island and island alike, all of whom had been led to believe that they would be teaching eager-minded groups of students, excited to learn about their prospective careers. This assumption was not necessarily accurate.

[[up early early early for timezones! ~~wait for the OCD or puppies will die.~~ the puppies are safe now.]]

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Stepping up here was a guy in heavy armor with a face mask that made it impossible to tell who he was.

Much like the other advocate of hired slaughter at this career fair. Call it a thing, mmkay?

Not that Taskmaster was in the best of moods to begin with. He wouldn't be here if Sandi hadn't made him, after all. (Though at least Hayden was at present too whatever to attend.) "Yeah, so I'm not here to tell you how awesome it is to be a merc," he said. "Because in the merc business, we're all badasses, or we're dead. And every year, a whole bunch of kids like you show up thinking they walk the walk and get themselves shot. Sometimes ruining perfectly good jobs."

He was a cheerful, helpful guy like that.

"Used to run a school to help kids like you work out the merc biz. Most of them didn't make it. If you want to pick up good jobs, run like a merc, you got to have something. I don't care if you can grow swords out of your neck or you have a computer for a brain, in today's merc market, you're not going to cut it just by being able to run a couple extra laps at the gym and shoot a gun."

But hey, at least there weren't too many kids showing up. Not a lot of competition coming out of this end of the pool. Good to know. "So rule number one: don't be a pansy. Rule number two: know your shit. Rule number three: don't take animal jobs. This idiot Hayden--" His frenemy or UST partner or whatever shit Sandi liked to call them, he didn't want to think about, "--thought he'd get a head start in the biz by taking an animal collection job. Got no cash, just a run-down theme park." Snicker. "And you know what he got hired to do from there on in? Underwear retrieval. That kind of bull."

Well, and a few decent jobs, but whatever, he could slander Hayden if he wanted to. "Finally, rule number four, don't piss off the mob." He jabbed his thumb at the screen behind him, showing some... Well. (http://pics.livejournal.com/spring_lost/pic/0004y41g) Footage. "You wind up having to put up with shit like this, and nobody likes that. Okay, that's all I got. No fucking flyers, no workshops, whatever. Got questions?"

Warren had... wings, and a healing factor. But admittedly not much in the way of a backbone at the best of times.

... That said, that video with the girls in the animal getups was eerily fascinating.

"What... uh... happened to the school?"

So sue Warren, he was oddly intrigued.

"The Avengers did," said Taskmaster. He... might have been wrinkling his nose, but since he was wearing a mask it wasn't like you could tell. "Goody-two shoes'll screw with you every time. Bad for profit."

"Ooooh." Warren wrinkled his own nose a little, more an attempt at sympathy in the face of a guy who killed people for a living than anything, really. "Yeah, I guess that would be kind of a problem."

Superheroes. It was sort of what they did.

"So, it's pretty much all freelance work, then?"

Which was generally the definition of 'mercenary,' yes, but now Warren had kicked into 'if I ask questions and look really interested, the scary man hopefully won't hit me' mode.

"Pretty much. If you're good, you can get contracts off the big players. AIM, HYDRA, the government, whatever."

Yes, the government. What, were you really surprised?

"I do my training gig on the side whenever I get the chance," Taskmaster added, "Little less cash in that, but you don't get shot at as much." Plus? Free and steady flow of flunkies.

"...Underwear retrieval? Is there much of a market for that?" Peter asked, going for the weirdest relevant question he could think of.

"Not much of one," Taskmaster said, sounding slightly amused at the memory. "But occasionally there's gonna be some filthy fetishist who wants to get his rocks off..."

Peter snapped his fingers. "Of course," he said. "So it probably wasn't a low-paying gig, even if it was a little... kinky."

"No, but you gotta consider whether your professional pride is going to survive chasing through a train looking for some three-hundred-year-old drawers."

"I guess it depends on whether your pride is based on what you're doing or on how well you do it," Peter said. "Pretty enlightening seminar so far, I have to admit."

Only partially sarcastic.

"Yeah. Don't get shot," Taskmaster droned up in reply.

He didn't sound too invested.

"What is it with the uniforms? Is it a rule that you can't look nice while you work?" Momoko was totally glad she was a Hero. And totally wondering why she'd been assigned these workshops. "What's the difference between a Bounty Hunter and a mercenary?"

"Bounty hunters are pussies who don't usually go for the kill," Taskmaster said. Sorry, Boba. "And this is appropriate working gear for my job. You want me to flounce around like those X-types?"

"Ah! So mercenaries kill? Can you be a mercenary who doesn't kill? And what are X-types? Is that another name for Bounty Hunters, because Mr Fett's uniform isn't really flouncy."

"Mercs do the job they're paid to do," Taskmaster said. He was rolling his eyes, but... mask. "And they usually don't pay that much cash to make us pick flowers. Naw, X-types are like Cable. Running around saving the globe in spandex. Which doesn't stop bullets."

"Spandex," Momoko drawled, face showing much displeasure. "Ugh! Mayor Cable doesn't seem like he flounces much. I have seen Professor Deadpool flounce, but I think he was trying to make fun of someone at the time. Is he an X-type?"

"I'm totally curious, see, because I get paid by my government to fight monsters, but all the other heroes I've met say that's weird. So am I a type of mercenary?" She didn't think so, but she wondered what a professional opinion would be.

"Wilson?" Again, that mask was such a buzzkill on stuff like 'raising your eyebrows'. "Nah. He's tried, but he's not one of the X-geeks. Though I guess right now he kind of is by association."

Ewww. Did not want to think about that.

"And no. Every merc's a freelancer. You're just a hired mook."

Congratulations, Momoko.

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

heromaniac - 2011-03-06 01:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

mrt-master.livejournal.com - 2011-03-06 05:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

heromaniac - 2011-03-06 05:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

mrt-master.livejournal.com - 2011-03-06 06:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

heromaniac - 2011-03-06 06:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

mrt-master.livejournal.com - 2011-03-06 06:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

heromaniac - 2011-03-06 06:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

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Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

heromaniac - 2011-03-06 07:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

mrt-master.livejournal.com - 2011-03-06 08:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

heromaniac - 2011-03-07 00:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

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Re: Mercing and You: Why The Mercenary Business Is Not For Suckers

heromaniac - 2011-03-08 13:53 (UTC) - Expand

Rilla had, let's be honest here, very little idea of what this man had been talking about.

So the part that struck with her wasn't exactly a normal question: "Why is the first rule about not being a flower?"

"Because flowers get shot," said Taskmaster. Enlightening! "Look, I think you might be in the wrong classroom here."

She kind of looked... flowery.

"I double-checked my sheet!" Rilla told him. "Why are you shooting flowerth?"

Lisping right now would totally impress him.

"Look, we're talking about people who are like flowers. You know, limp, easy to kill." And now he was feeling kind of bad about this. Damn kid.

"If your pansies are limp, it just means you haven't watered them enough," Rilla lectured. "You just needed to take a little more care."

"...You're kind of literal, aren't you, kid."

...This would all seem very familiar to Blackagar sometime in the future. But, for now, he was just going to give Taskmaster a look that judged him. Judged the crap out of him.

"...Just keep your mouth shut," said Taskmaster. Warily.

Inhumans. He did not get paid enough for this shit.

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