Dealing With Idiots | Friday | Period 4 (Session 5)

[prof_of_cunning]

"Sadly, yes, it was necessary for Baldrick to return today."

As if any of his students would require an announcement of that fact to be aware of the dull-eyed dungball up at the front of the room near (but not too near) to Edmund's lectern.

"His presence is required because today, we're going to finish off our section on dealing with the very, very stupid that you don't have to suck up to, via a practical exercise in getting them to do something."

"Oi, that's not hard." Baldrick didn't waste time arguing about the very very stupid designation, at least. "I can do plenty of things. I can catch rats... eventually, when they get really old and slow. And I can whistle!" The sound coming out of that mouth in demonstration was almost as foul as the breath coming out of that mouth, possibly because it was accompanied by bits of Baldrick's breakfast -- or possibly bits of his teeth -- also coming out of his mouth.

"No, you can't. Stop that." Edmund banged him once round the head with his own hat before jamming it back down over not at all enough of Baldrick's face. "But thank you for providing us with a helpful example of the need, when dealing with you and those like you, for extreme specificity in one's demands. Here's another: Baldrick, I fancy a cup of tea. Go put the kettle on." Pants and more pants, he'd undercut himself there. "And come back afterwards," he added before Baldrick had made it to the door. "Until he returns, class, you may talk amongst yourselves, take notes, smoke them if you possess them, whatever."

~~~~~~Ten minutes later~~~~~~



Edmund gazed toward the sight in the doorway. "I rest my case. Baldrick, go back to our lodgings, remove the the kettle from your head, and make some tea with it. Wait there until I arrive. Don't drink the tea."

Exeunt Baldrick, teakettle still on his head. "I would have changed the order of the orders there, but I felt the squirrels could use the amusement of following him through town like that," he added. "Your assignment today is to pair up, pretend one of you is Baldrick or a slightly less odious equivalent thereof and practice giving orders whose results won't give you a concussion from the force of bashing your head against a wall. Imitation-Baldricks need not attempt to duplicate the scent, just the cranial capacity."

[OOC: Open and less smelly once Baldrick's gone!]

Comments

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"Well, when I heard what we needed to do, you were the very first person I thought of," she said with a little smirk.

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Ah, nice," he said sarcastically, leaning back in his seat. He didn't stop grinning though. "That mean you wanna be the one that orders me around first?"

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

She gave him a bit of a "duh" look. "If you wouldn't mind."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Do your worst," Alex offered, nodding. "Let's see how good you are at being bossy. And let's see how badly I follow orders."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Oh, Rilla excelled at being bossy. Whether she could be specific enough was the real question.

She glanced at the list, mentally weighed which of the tasks had the least number of steps to be explained, and chose socks.

Well, in her case, woolen stockings.

"Very well," she began. "I need you to fetch a basin halfway full of cool, clean water, and a bar of soap."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"A basin?" Alex asked, getting stuck on that word. "Is that the same thing as a cup? Or a tub? Am I gonna be hauling something big and freaking heavy all around the school?"

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla sighed. "No," she said. "A basin is generally a little larger than a bucket. Why don't you just find a bucket instead? A clean bucket, not one that has been used for painting."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Bucket I can do," Alex said, already having ideas on how to mess this order up. He got up and wandered out of the classroom. The bucket was easy enough to find since there were janitor's closets around.

So, bucket in hand, he found himself in the bathroom and began filling it with cool, clean water. Once it was halfway filled, he stopped. And then he started dumping other things into the water. Pieces of paper, a bottle cap, a bottle, a washcloth, anything he could find around the school. By the time he made it back to the classroom (with the soap in hand), the bucket was still filled with water, it was just...filled with a lot of other things too.

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla sighed again. "How does this count as clean water?" she asked. "There are...things...in it."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Half of it's clean," he pointed out since there had to be at least half the water that wasn't touched by things. "I thought you might need some of these other things I brought back with me. You know, for the future."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla lost in her fight not to sigh yet again. "I didn't ask for half-clean water. Your thoughtfulness is noted, but please take out the other...bits."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex laughed and put the bucket on the ground. He reached in and plucked out a bottle cap which he...tossed in her direction.

Hey, there were no orders against that!

[And I have to flee home in a few minutes so AFK a bit!]

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

At least a shriek was a different noise from her than a sigh?

"Don't throw them at me!"

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"What else am I supposed to do with them?" Alex asked, flinging a paperclip her way now. "I thought this was allowed and all."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"I didn't ask for them at all!" Rilla said, rubbing frantically at her dress. "Put them on the ground slowly and carefully."

Given orders to Susan was never this complicated. Hmph.

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"All right," Alex said, not even bothering to hide his laughter. He picked every single thing out of the water and settled them on the floor. "What about this?"

He held up the bar of soap and wiggled it at her.

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"Keep that," Rilla said. She held out a woolen stocking that she'd wriggled out of while Alex was out retrieving his bucket of water. "Now get this wet in the bucket, and then rub soap on the stocking until bubbles form."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Ew, really?" Alex asked, making a face even as he took the stocking. For a minute, he couldn't think of a way to mess that order up because now he was holding some monstrosity of a stocking.

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"Yes, really," Rilla said archly. "Have you never washed a stocking before?"

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex fixed her with a look. "Yeah, I do this all the time." He dropped the stocking into the water and let it stay there for a moment. He was getting it wet!

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"Well, it's not going to wash itself," Rilla pointed out. "Pick it up, squeeze out most of the water, and then rub the soap against it ten times."

Be glad she hadn't been wearing silk stockings, Alex. The instructions would have been even more ridiculous.

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

With a smirk, Alex picked the stocking out of the water, got up, leaned over the bucket and proceeded to squeeze it out over her feet. He was following instructions perfectly, thank you.

"This good?"

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

She gave him a baleful look. "You should try to keep the water in the bucket."

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"But, it's dirty water, why would I want to mix it with my clean water?" Alex asked, trying not to laugh.

Re: Activity: Give Orders To An Idiot That They Can't Mess Up!

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

She hated that he might have a point. "Fine," she said huffily, "but unless you want the next lesson to be learning how to fix leather boots, keep the water away from my shoes, please."