fandomhigh | How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

Lucas was leaning against his desk at the start of class today. Next to him was one of his stuntmen. The stuntman was dressed in black with white greasepaint on his face (but not on the chinstrap beard because that wouldn't be cool).

"Today we're going to talk about mimes," Lucas said. "Miming is a centuries old art of expressing emotion, action, and objects by not talking and poking at the air. Go ahead, Rusty."

Rusty the chinstrapped stunt mime started miming a box closing in on him. And just when the box was getting really believable, Lucas turned around and punched Rusty in the face, knocking him over the desk, knocking Lucas's chair over, too.

"JK. This is the start of our action session. And this week is all about knowing how to give and take a stage punch. Rusty, get back here." The stuntmime popped back up and jumped over the desk to land next to Lucas. "There are three main keys to throwing a stage punch. First, choosing the right angle. The goal is the make it look like you hit the person but not actually hit them. This is mostly on your director, choreographer, and camera guy, so just do what they tell you. Second is knowing how to throw a punch. Do this," Lucas said, throwing a punch. "One more time, pay attention." He punched the air again. "That's all I'm showing you. Third is to make sure the person taking the punch knows how to deal with it if you actually hit them. If you have a crap stuntman taking the punch, go ahead and get them fired. You're more important than them. Right, Rusty?" Rusty nodded. "See? He knows the deal."

"If you're taking the punch, remember three more things. First, don't bale out too soon or you're going to make everyone look like an idiot. Second, if you do get hit, suck it up, that's what you're paid for. And third, it's your job to make the other person look like an action hero, even if they're short, bald, or a chick. If you're taking a stage punch, make it look like it really hurt."

"Everyone set with that? Good. Two options for you today. You can either pretend to punch the guy dressed like a mime, or you can pretend punching each other, which will be done completely by your own choice so I can't get in trouble if somebody starts bleeding. Let's get started."

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"Um, you were the one that got my attention, if you recall. You were the one that bothered me while I was in the middle of a great daydream where some big titted, American farm girl was giving me a blowjob and fondling my balls."

And her interruption, to him, was a crime.

"If you want to get away from me, you can go elsewhere. I was here first. Go rim a mime, Kate."

"I don't think that was the assigment," Kate deadpanned. "So sorry to have so greatly bothered you while you were doing something that important."

"I was perfectly happy to have a conversation with you until you dismissed me," Nathan told her, shaking his head. "That, my friend, is where you went wrong. Don't initiate if you're going to dismiss when the conversation doesn't go your way. It's rather cowardly."

"I wasn't dismissing you seriously," Kate replied. Who knew if that was the truth, though. She rolled her eyes and pulled the hem of her shirt down some more. "But I think we're veering close to being where I didn't wanna end up again so I think I'll just shut up now."

"You are having fun being confusing, aren't you?" Nathan asked, shaking his head. "And your place on my list dips even lower. I might wanna do you but I think if I asked, I'd get some answer that would make no fucking sense to anyone but God."

"I'm not being confusing." You only had to be her to understand, come on! That wasn't so hard, was it? "And I'm not having fun, either."

"No, you are being confusing," Nathan told her, shaking his head. "And I think you know that quite well. I think you get off on it which hey, we all have our kinks but I'd really like you to make an attempt to stop when you're around me. I don't like head games. I like board games. I like Monopoly especially when I can be the fucking banker because skimming money off the top is so easy."

"Well, maybe next week when I come back I'll find us a board and we'll play," Kate replied, somewhere between dryness and vague sincerity. "You won't get to cheat, though."

"It's not cheating if you don't get caught and you won't catch me," Nathan said haughtily. "Don't be a poor sport, Kate. It's really unbecoming. If you're going to have an ugly cry because I'm so much better than you, make sure you keep your snot away from me."

"I don't cry," she said, adopting his tone from earlier. "And definitely not over you."

"Listen to emo music then? Write long diatribes in your diary about he sad state of your life? Play online games where your characters gets more ass than you do? Eat chocolate until you've given yourself a case of explosive diarrhea?"

He could go on and on and on.

Kate would rather he didn't. "Uh, none of the above," she said, making a face at him. "I thought you were supposed to have an idea of how I worked. Doesn't sound like it."

"Even if I was right, you wouldn't tell me," Nathan pointed out, shrugging a shoulder. "That's just your way. I do know how you work because you are like me no matter how much you want to deny it. So, while there might be minute differences because I'm obviously more creative and more risk taking, I'd bet the last of my money we deal with things similarly.. We ignore it until it goes away."

Too bad most of that shit never did.

Edited 2011-02-05 01:12 (UTC)

Never ever. That was definitely a huge downside of that particular way of dealing, no doubt.

"Speaking of things going away," Kate said, tilting her head at him, with some purposefully fake cheer. "I'm gonna go fake punch a mime now." This was as close to a 'yes, you're right' he was going to get today. "Talk to you later, Nathan."

"Have fun," he said, waving once before sitting back in his seat and trying to get back into his daydream.

How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

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