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fandomhigh2011-01-28 09:45 am
prof_of_cunning) wrote in fandomhigh2011-01-28 09:45 am
Entry tags:
Dealing With Idiots | Friday | Period 4 (Session 4)
If the man in front of the classroom was looking entirely too pleased with himself, it was only because late last night, he'd come up with a lesson plan so cunning you could put a black wig and slightly overpriced but well-tailored waistcoat on it and the thing could substitute teach for him.
"I had planned to use Baldrick to demonstrate some of the finer points of impermanent but immensely satisfying physical violence as a method of enduring the presence of idiots, then allow you to practice the moves on him yourself." Which would have been a thoroughly unobjectionable class, of course. "Ten points to the student who can spot the one flaw in this plan first." The pause was mostly for effect, and there was no such point system in existence, but it helped in keeping track of who the suck-ups might be. Suck-ups were useful. "Yes, exactly. The necessity for Baldrick to be present."
Straightening his cravat and coughing in the greatest display of false modesty since Joseph tried to convince his brothers that his amazing technicolour dreamcoat was 'just something Dad grabbed out of the Oxfam bin,' Edmund nodded towards the door. "Thankfully, due to a combination of insomnia, quick-wittedness, and one of the most amazing inventions of the previous century, I've discovered a stench-free alternative."
Through the classroom doorway came a television on a roller-cart, pushed by a .... tap-dancing something in a janitor's uniform. You'll pardon Edmund's brief digression into disbelief at the sight, before he finally swung his head around towards the class again. "I speak not of the digital video disc, but of the contents of this particular one: a group of imbeciles beating each other up, so all you have to do is watch."
Fosse pressed play and shuffled his way out the door, turning down the lights as he passed. In the moment before The Buffoons Numbered Neither One Nor Two And Four Is Right Out began their antics, Edmund stared after him, muttering, "And the amazing thing is it still smelled better than Baldrick."
[OOC: if it looks like a movie day, and it walks like a movie day, then it probably smells like a movie day. Brought to you by icktacularness and the soothing properties of hydrocodone.]
"I had planned to use Baldrick to demonstrate some of the finer points of impermanent but immensely satisfying physical violence as a method of enduring the presence of idiots, then allow you to practice the moves on him yourself." Which would have been a thoroughly unobjectionable class, of course. "Ten points to the student who can spot the one flaw in this plan first." The pause was mostly for effect, and there was no such point system in existence, but it helped in keeping track of who the suck-ups might be. Suck-ups were useful. "Yes, exactly. The necessity for Baldrick to be present."
Straightening his cravat and coughing in the greatest display of false modesty since Joseph tried to convince his brothers that his amazing technicolour dreamcoat was 'just something Dad grabbed out of the Oxfam bin,' Edmund nodded towards the door. "Thankfully, due to a combination of insomnia, quick-wittedness, and one of the most amazing inventions of the previous century, I've discovered a stench-free alternative."
Through the classroom doorway came a television on a roller-cart, pushed by a .... tap-dancing something in a janitor's uniform. You'll pardon Edmund's brief digression into disbelief at the sight, before he finally swung his head around towards the class again. "I speak not of the digital video disc, but of the contents of this particular one: a group of imbeciles beating each other up, so all you have to do is watch."
Fosse pressed play and shuffled his way out the door, turning down the lights as he passed. In the moment before The Buffoons Numbered Neither One Nor Two And Four Is Right Out began their antics, Edmund stared after him, muttering, "And the amazing thing is it still smelled better than Baldrick."
[OOC: if it looks like a movie day, and it walks like a movie day, then it probably smells like a movie day. Brought to you by icktacularness and the soothing properties of hydrocodone.]
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