fandomhigh | Home Ec 4, Fourth Period, 1/26

"Last week we went over how to do laundry in a washing machine," Steve said. "However, there are going to be a wide variety of circumstances under which laundry won't or can't be done in a machine. You may be dealing with a delicate fabric that can't handle the unnatural stresses of a washing machine--some undergarments fall in this category. Or a washing machine may simply be unavailable. Now, I was born in the early part of the previous century, and my mother was a laundrywoman. It was how she kept a roof over our head and food on the table." It might not have been much, but it was what they had. "I know a thing or six about how to do laundry, but I'm not going to subject you to the vats of boiling water, the washboards, the harsh bleaches. Instead we're going to do this the more modern way: in the sink, with detergent."

Steve passed around a handout on how to hand wash clothing, then said, "In the interests of not making you wash your own unmentionables in public, I took the liberty of asking Miss Sparks at the clothing store in town for some of their overstock." The things she'd given him were frankly alarming. "So, you can pair up and figure this out without worrying about ruining anything, because it was all apparently going to be burned anyway."

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"And you're not that girly?" Alex guessed, not even sounding condescending about it. "More practical?"

"Well, yes," Scully admitted, reaching for a violently orange pair of briefs. Honestly. They looked like Danger Warning Underwear. "I don't mind underwear being pretty, but it needs to be functional first, and--" Okay, she was talking underwear with a guy she barely knew. "I mean, would you wear these?" A thong. Covered with a banana print. Seriously.

"Maybe," he said, snickering again. "If I was a stripper or something. I'm not so don't think to toss those at me either. I mean, if they're getting made, there's a demand out there somewhere. Someone's wearing them."

Scully sighed, looking at the thong, and said, "No one I want to date." Then reached for the soap. "Maybe we can burn them now. I really need to carry explosives or acid with me more often this week."

"So, you'd seriously make a guy leave if he took off his pants and that's what you saw?" Alex wondered, curious. "What if you'd liked him until then?"

"I, uhhh..." Scully blinked at him a bit, trying to imagine this. Held up the banana-covered thong to try and imagine that happening; the lack of opportunities the last several years didn't help. Inadvertently got a mental image of Mulder wearing it. Tried to erase that, got Alex wearing it.

Ended up facepalming with the briefs in hand. Trying not to laugh. "I think the question of 'why' might come up at that point...."

"Maybe it was a gift from their dear sweet mother," Alex said, trying not to laugh at her reactions. "Would you be one to not wear a gift your mom bought you at least once?"

"Now I'm picturing someone's mom as a stripper, giving away this kind of underwear," Scully said, twirling it around her finger without thinking about it. "And yes, I'd wear anything my mom gave me, but... possibly not allow anyone else to see it?" She stared at a pink bra with feathers. "Which is why it's good to own your own washer and dryer."

"So, would you immediately judge someone if you saw it on someone else?" Alex wondered curiously. "Obviously, you'd wear it if your mom gave it to you so maybe someone else is doing something similar and isn't some raunchy stripper."

Yes, yes she would judge them. Even if not too harshly. Scully sighed through her nose and gave Alex a speaking look. "I'd want an explanation, yes."

Home Ec 4, Fourth Period, 1/26

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