fandomhigh | Being a Proper Sea Dog, Friday, Period 3 [Session 3]

Today's class again met in the Danger Shop, and again Hook had programmed a three masted vessel for the activity of the day.

"There we are, there we are. Everyone here and ready?" Hook said, after the class had gathered. "Jolly good job with the rope work last week. Jolly good. You all got up and went straight into things, and for that I applaud you, at least figuratively."

He paced back and forth on the deck a bit, as he spoke.

"As for today, the activity on the syllabus is an exercise in following orders. Which is simple. On the sea, there are instances where you'll have to put your own mind aside and follow orders so that you and the rest of the crew survive. Originally I had something rather harsh planned for today, but given recent events I've decided that would be bad form. Instead, I'm going to test your limits."

He opened a large chest on the deck of the ship, which contained several frilly pink dresses (including one frog-sized). He also gestured to a barrel which was full of dead, whole fish (and one sardine).

"Everyone is to pull on a dress, grab a fish, and slap another student across the face with it. Not hard, mind you, I don't want any permanent damage. A slap, not a wallop. If you find that too difficult, I can provide other orders, if you really feel you can't follow them."

He snapped his fingers. "Chop chop, get to it. This is an object lesson. Don't object to it unless you're ready to present a very good case for why you should mutiny."

And perhaps that was part of the object lesson as well.

[ooc: ~~OCD first, plz.~~ Up and ready to go!]

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Jason might have been less weirded out if the dresses weren't pink. Still, he was willing to go along with the assignment for the moment, especially after seeing Percy's reluctance. Somehow, dressing faster made him feel like a better student. At least there was one area in which Jason could beat him.

Hey, orders were orders, and Zack was... Well, not a pirate, but SOLDIER functioned more or less the same way, in the long run.

"... Okay, the fish is kind of weird. Or is that just me?"

"No, it's not just you," Jason said, poking experimentally at one of the fish. "I kind of don't get it. Is it supposed to hurt, or just smell? Because you're gonna make yourself smell just as bad handling it."

"Yeah, which is kind of..." Zack wrinkled his nose at the fish. "Well, why make the dresses smell all fishy in the first place?"

The pink might have looked stunning when contrasted against Zack's luminescent blue eyes, but he doubted that even his eyes could save the dress from the trash bin if it got too fishy.

He was clearly not putting much stock in the fact that this was all Danger Shop fakery.

"And if you're not wearing a dress," because he was not that kind of guy, no matter how pretty the pink was, "why would you want to hit someone with something that lets them know you're coming at them?"

"Beats me," Zack sighed, shaking his head a little. "I think pretty much the only place you could possibly get away with it would be maybe at a fish market, or on the beach on a really, really hot day just after the tide's gone out, or something."

Which was possibly not the point of the exercise, but wasn't it nice to know that Zack put serious thought into the sorts of places you'd need to be in order to effectively wield a dead sea animal as a weapon?

It was nice for Jason to know that he wasn't the only one who gave serious thought to these kinds of things. "It'd be different if it was fresh fish. At least that smell wouldn't linger. And it'd be kind of insulting. Like, 'You're not even worth me getting out a real weapon.'"

"I could see using fish maybe if there wasn't any other weapon handy," Zack mused, laughing a little and shaking his head. "But, even then, I think I would rather use my fists than a fish. Uh... not that I really want to punch you in the face, either."

That wouldn't end well at all.

"I'm not really interested in punching you in the face either," Jason said, laughing. "Especially not while you're wearing a dress. It'd just get it all messy."

"Wrinkled, at least," Zack agreed with a chuckle. "And yours, too. But you're wearing yours way better than I am, I think."

It was difficult for him to tell, himself, without benefit of a mirror. But his 6'3" frame, muscular arms, scarred face, and long, spiked hair didn't exactly lend themselves well to pink ruffles. Not in the least.

".... I bet we could probably get Professor Hook with the fish, though."

At nearly a foot shorter, Jason did probably look more like someone was supposed to look in a dress, but he wasn't sure if that was a good thing. "We could, if he wasn't paying attention. Do you think we'd get in trouble?" Not that that was a dealbreaker, of course.

"I bet we would," Zack laughed. "And it would serve him right, anyhow!"

For the fish, it should be noted. Not necessarily for the dresses.

When you took classes with Deadpool, dresses weren't exactly the most embarrassing thing you had to deal with, yes. "He said not to hit anyone hard. It could be a light slap."

"We could even use the sardine," Zack added, thoughtfully. "You can't possibly hit somebody too hard with a sardine, right?"

"Nah, it's way too small. It probably wouldn't even hurt." And yet, it would still be funny.

It would be hilarious.

"And imagine the look on his face when two guys in pink dresses smack him in the face with a sardine," Zack continued, not able to knock his little grin from his face, now.

Jason was trying not to laugh too hard, but it was becoming difficult. "His mustache might twitch even," he said. "I'm not sure I'd know what to say if it was me."

"I think I'd just ask him if he liked sardines," Zack mused, peering over at the fish barrel. "Totally worth it? Or totally worth it?"

Oh, totally!

"We'll only know how worth it it is if we try," Jason said. He was clearly not a good influence on people.

Really, it wasn't as if Zack needed a bad influence. He'd been the one to make this crazy suggestion in the first place, after all.

He shot Jason another crooked grin, and then wandered over to make a reach into the barrel.

This couldn't possibly end well.

No, this was probably not going to end well, but at least they wouldn't get into trouble alone? "If nothing else, he can't kill us. There are too many witnesses."

"Waaay too many," Zack laughed, and then he steeled himself and turned around. "Wish me luck?"

He was hardly going to take the moment's pause to wait for those well-wishings. There was some good old-fashioned fish-smacking to be done. And so there went Zack, marching off towards Hook.

Jason was only tempted to stay behind for a second. He'd encouraged this, so there was no way he was going to miss it.

Being a Proper Sea Dog, Friday, Period 3 [Session 3]

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