fandomhigh | How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

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How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1

"Hey, 'sup guys?" Lucas said to start the class. He was sitting casually on his desk. You know. To appear casual. Standing next to the desk was a guy who looked a lot like Lucas, down to the leather jacket, black shirt, chinstrap beard, and raised eyebrows. He was less attractive and had a scar on his cheek and was a couple inches shorter than Lucas, though. "This is Doug. He's part of my stunt team, so we've known each other for a while. You might even say we have a rapport."

"We have a rapport," Doug said.

"Ha. That's funny, Doug," Lucas said, holding a fist out for some respect knuckles. After Doug gave him a fistbump, Lucas continued. "Nice wordplay. And that's what we're talking about today. If I didn't have to teach you guys stuff, I would have said something back to him like, I don't know, 'I didn't even know there were French rappers.'"

Doug paused, thinking hard about what Lucas just said. "I don't get it," Doug said.

Lucas hopped off the desk, grabbed Doug by the jacket, dragged him to the window, opened it, and defenestrated Doug. Then he closed the window, turned back to the class, and said, "He'll be fine. He's a professional stuntman. He knows his shit."

"So, rapport. You build it up by either being really familiar with somebody else, or just having some instant chemistry, or you're just good at fake liking someone while talking to them. The key to really good banter is to talk really fast. That way even if what you're saying isn't funny, at least it's two people saying things at each other fast enough that something's going to end up being kind of funny. If you're into that kind of thing. Not my cup of java, personally, but that's why I'm an action star."

"So! What you're doing today is pairing up with someone that you think you can banter with. Don't worry about being funny or anything right now. That'll mess you up. Just talk at each other without thinking about what you're going to say. Whatever you do, don't let a pause crop up in the conversation. Because if that happens, you fail at banter. And if you can't even manage to pull off a fast-paced conversation, you're pretty much failing at life."

"Just like Doug," Lucas said, peeking back out the window. "Horrible at living. Great at falling out of windows. Heh. He'll appreciate that. I'm gonna text that to him while you guys start talking."

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"Doubt that," she said, but did run the fingers of one hand through his hair a couple of times, mostly because it looked like nice hair to touch.

"Nah, you just have retractable horns," she decided.

Nathan shook his hair out and leaned back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other. "And what indications have I given that I'm in league with the devil? Those are some very serious accusations, Kate."

"You've gotten an impressionable girl drunk," Kate replied immediately. Hey, this was a banter exercise: if that statement left something to be desired as far as being truthful went, that was just fodder for him to continue on. "And not just drunk, but so incredibly wasted she barely remembers anything about the whole thing. That's not angelic."

"And yet, did I try anything?" Nathan asked her, tapping his chin. "Did I once take advantage of your precarious state? I did not. I left you alone and you even made it back down to your room to sleep in your bed, having sweet Midwestern dreams, I'm sure. Those are points for being angelic."

"Doesn't take away from the bad points, though," Kate replied, leaning back in her chair. "Not doing something doesn't erase doing something."

Did that make sense? She though it did.

"If I hadn't taken you to get drunk, you would have tried to take out your teenage angst on my roommate and that would not have ended well," Nathan told her, shaking his head sadly. "I was merely protecting you from the embarrassment and pain of that situation, Kate. I was being kind and compassionate and caring. You owe me many thanks."

"I would've thought angels don't expect thanks," she retorted, raising her eyebrows some. "I mean, they should do good shit just out of the inherent goodness in their hearts, right?"

"That doesn't mean they don't appreciate the gratitude," Nathan said, waving a finger at her. "Gratitude makes even the angels feel a little bit better about their days, you know. And it also blesses you with something called good karma, Kate. And don't we all need more of that?"

"Not really," Kate decided, shaking her head. "I figure some of us are so beyond help no amount of good karma is going to do anything. We'll all end up as stupid animals in the next life, anyway."

"You sound like you've utterly given up on life," Nathan replied, making a face. "That's just not productive at all, Kate. You do realize that your life could be worse, don't you? I mean, you are not the queen of teenage angst. I don't even think you're a court jester."

"No, I think being a court jester in any court would be more your job," Kate retorted without missing a beat, a brief smirk of somewhat mild amusement crossing her face. "And you really don't know enough to make that judgment."

"Do you really think you have a shittier life than everyone else on this island?" Nathan asked incredulously. "Because, honestly, I think you're going to have trouble topping the kid who was born to a hermaphrodite, given up for adoption, turned tricks to earn money, ate food from the garbage and did all that while she was ugly. I mean, that's angst, that's a shitty life."

And now Kate was breaking the rules of this assignment by pausing, long and hard.

"... Do we even have a kid like that here, or are you just making shit up right now?" she wondered, head tilted. "Well whatever, I never claimed my life was the worst here, though it's not the best either. i just pointed out you don't know enough to say for certain it's not."

"I can say for certain because there is someone like that here," he said without missing a beat. It was a lie but a smooth one and she'd have to look hard to figure out that he was lying. "So yes, I do know for certain because I know that kid and I know her life is the shittiest. Honestly Kate, have some compassion for the trick turning garbage eater!"

Kate still thought that was... probably a lie. But to be honest, it was only based on her assumption that people wouldn't just go and share a life story like that with him.

Though you never really knew in this town.

"Well, good luck to her," she said, rolling her eyes. "But I'm really not trying to turn this into a competetion and besides, I have a date set up for the weekend, so it's not all that bad all the time."

"I had a date yesterday," he said and grinned. Sure, sure, he'd told her about that previously but that was then and this was now. "I took her to dinner, wined and dined her, we danced and then I kissed her cheek and let her go on her way."

That was probably a more obvious lie than his previous one. "It was very sweet. Again, angelic."

"Again, bullshit." Because despite all the retraint he'd shown with her this far, it seemed unlikely to happen on an actual date. "That can't be what really happened. I think I should ask her for confirmation."

"You think she's really one to, metaphorically speaking, kiss and tell?" Nathan asked, raising an eyebrow. "What makes you so interested in my love life, Kate? Jealous that it's not you?"

"Oh please, we both know I would've already done something if I was going to, it's not like I haven't had chances," Kate said, shaking her head. "And I'm only interested in the gossipy aspects."

"God, you and Caroline with the fucking gossip. You have more things in common than just who you've both shagged."

That was a little bit of payback for...something. Nathan didn't know and didn't care. He was a jerk and she seemed to like him that way.

"What gossipy aspects about my very, very tame date with Ramona can I share with you? Would you like to know about the flowers I bought her?"

Kate glared at him for that little reminder, but let it pass on by without a word. She knew it would only get worse if she reacted too much.

"What kind of flowers?" Apart from imaginary, obviously. "Were they roses? I'll just die if they were roses."

"Tulips, actually," he replied, eyes wide. "Yellow tulips. I believe they mean purity or sanctity or something like that. I wanted her to know that I respect her and her body."

"Oooh." That was sarcastic. "What for, so it would be even more of a surprise when you didn't?"

"Now Kate, what makes you think I didn't?" he asked, gaping a little at her. "I do have the ability to respect girls and their bodies. Just because I tend to use other more pleasurable abilities doesn't mean that this time was more of the same."

"Yeah, I'm just not buying it," she said with another little shake of her head. "I know you're capable of respect, but with a girl that actually agreed to go out with you?"

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