fandomhigh | Dealing With Idiots | Friday

Once again, Edmund stood at the head of the class with accompaniment of the odoriferous variety - though today, Baldrick had a tree-shaped, pine-scented air freshener dangling from the front corner of his tricorn hat. It cut the smell a bit, though it did result in a cross-eyed Baldrick.

"Remember when I said he wouldn't be here for every class? I didn't mean this one," Edmund said with perhaps the tiniest hint of apology in his tone. "If you wish to move your things to a seat that's further upwind, please do so."

"Now, to the topic at hand: before you can decide how best to bear the presence of the terminally melon-headed, you're going to have to identify them." He pointed at Baldrick, currently batting at his dangling pine-tree like a brain-damaged cat. (Or, frankly, any other cat, but only a brain-damaged one would allow itself to smell like that.) "I don't mean recognizing their presence. Aside from a few stealth-sorts, you're not going to miss them when they're standing in front of you unless you're one of them; if you haven't figured out that Baldrick is one, for instance, get out."

His hopes had been raised a bit by the last class, but Edmund still paused in case anyone chose to flee the room, then continued. "By identifying them, I mean classing them into various types, so you can choose the correct reaction. We'll start with the simplest."

Turning to the chalkboard behind him, he wrote out in clear, if rather fancy, lettering: Idiots You Don't Have To Be Nice To. Then he turned back to the class.

"These are the people with whom you don't need to hold back your scorn and annoyance. You'll never see them again. You don't need anything from them except, perhaps, their absence. They work for you. They've already established that they don't like you, so you might as well let fly. They're deaf, senile, or so profoundly stupid that they won't understand that they're being insulted, or at least won't remember it tomorrow morning. They're Baldrick -- which I realize is a bit redundant given the previous sentence, but the magnificence of his dullarditude puts him into a category all his own."

"Thank you, sir; unusually kind of you to say."

"Think nothing of it - also a redundant statement." To the class, Edmund said, "These are just a few broad sub-groups. Your assignment today, especially those of you from societies quite different to the 18th Century wherein my expertise lies, is to come up with specific examples that relate to your own time, place, and personal experience. Feel free to expand on each other's descriptions, or point out pitfalls under which one might, sadly, have to pretend the person described isn't a complete gitface."

[OOC: 1) Yes, he's a terrible person, and proceeds on the hopeful assumption that you are too. 2) No, he's never going to stop abusing Baldrick. 3) OCD is up; have at it!]

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Who are they and why is it acceptable to insult them to their faces? Acceptable in terms of consequences, of course, not - snort - morally, though there's always one milquetoasty lummock who has to go that road, isn't there.

[Messy threads allowed and encouraged!]

"I was gonna say people in food service but man, they'd probably spit in your food. I've seen some of those hidden camera shows."

And they had scarred him for life. Now, even if he wanted to punch the dude in the drive thru, he refrained and just cursed him to high hell in his head.

"Rent a cops, though, I think they're fine to insult right to their fake cop faces. What are they gonna do? Kick you out of the mall? Ban you from the Hot Topic? Oooooh, so scary. Because it's not easy at all to sneak back in or find another place to cause trouble."

"People in food service aren't necessarily idiots," Squall pointed out. "Some of them are just lazy, or unlucky."

"Yeah, I know, but some of 'em are," he said, shrugging a shoulder. "And the bad ones give the good ones a bad name. Still, I know who to leave alone because I don't want people messing with my food."

"'Have to' is pretty subjective," Squall answered. "You don't have to be nice to anyone, if you're willing to accept the consequences."

"Yes, of course," Edmund answered with a half-powered eyeroll. "But today we're identifying the people whose consequences you don't give a toss about."

"People who display extreme prejudice," Makita said dryly. "If they're an asshole, you really don't need to play nice. Sometimes insults are the only way to penetrate their skull, yeah?"

"You'd think, but there's always the cavern of the nether regions who signs your paycheque or your possible death warrant as well, isn't there?"

"If the insulting is done correctly," Joolushko said, "they likely won't even notice they have been insulted. Or if they are idiotic enough. If they do not perceive an insult, consequences are unlikely to follow."

Dealing With Idiots | Friday | Period 4 (Session 2)

Discussion: Idiots You Don't Have To Be Nice To

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