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fandomhigh2011-01-14 12:27 am
nosefullofsnot.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2011-01-14 12:27 am
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How to Be a Really Famous Actor (And Other Acting Tips), Friday, Period 1
"Hey, you made it back. 'Grats on not being losers," Lucas said as the class began. "I'm breaking up the semester so you'll get some time learning about all three movie genres that are worth anything at the box office. And we're starting with the easiest genre, comedy. Really, anyone can make someone laugh. All you really have to do is fart at the right time. Well, that's all you have to do. Farting's beneath me. You'll never catch me farting for a laugh. A-listers don't have to unless they really need a paycheck, or they're pretenders to the crown."
"But hey, you want to fart, go ahead and fart. I'll just grab a gas mask," Lucas said. "Anyway, the key to comedy - besides farting - is that you don't have to be funny. Unless you're really good at improv - and based on last week, none of you are... except for maybe the frog kid. That bear thing cracked me up - you're going to be completely dependent on what people who are SO MUCH funnier than you write. Don't admit thatin the press. The writers know the deal. All the credit goes to you. You can even say that you improved your lines, nobody will say anything else because they're beneath you. But hey, if they figure out how to become directors, then they'll get some credit. Until then, be sure to sell those bastards out like your career depends on it, because it probably does."
"And that's all comedy acting is. It's lying about how funny you are. And if you're good enough at that while you're reading those things actual funny people wrote for you to say, then somebody might believe you and give you more work, or maybe a Golden Globe," Lucas said. "And remember, you get to drink at that show."
"So, here's what we're doing today," Lucas said, reaching under his desk to pull out a bunch of joke books and tossing them indiscriminately toward his students.
Because if they got hit in the face, it would be funny.
"Grab a book, grab a partner, make them laugh. If they don't laugh, you're doing something wrong because a lot of those jokes are great. Go ahead and fart if you're getting desperate," Lucas encouraged. "We'll know that you suck, but at least you'll make it another day in the business. I'll be around to give some tips on delivery if you're dying out there." Or, more likely, he would heckle.
[OOC: Really, he's more throwing them to the students, only a little high. But obviously, feel free to catch or dodge or bat away any joke books. They're small, 100 page softcover things, so they're not going to hurt that bad, even if they do hit....]
"But hey, you want to fart, go ahead and fart. I'll just grab a gas mask," Lucas said. "Anyway, the key to comedy - besides farting - is that you don't have to be funny. Unless you're really good at improv - and based on last week, none of you are... except for maybe the frog kid. That bear thing cracked me up - you're going to be completely dependent on what people who are SO MUCH funnier than you write. Don't admit thatin the press. The writers know the deal. All the credit goes to you. You can even say that you improved your lines, nobody will say anything else because they're beneath you. But hey, if they figure out how to become directors, then they'll get some credit. Until then, be sure to sell those bastards out like your career depends on it, because it probably does."
"And that's all comedy acting is. It's lying about how funny you are. And if you're good enough at that while you're reading those things actual funny people wrote for you to say, then somebody might believe you and give you more work, or maybe a Golden Globe," Lucas said. "And remember, you get to drink at that show."
"So, here's what we're doing today," Lucas said, reaching under his desk to pull out a bunch of joke books and tossing them indiscriminately toward his students.
Because if they got hit in the face, it would be funny.
"Grab a book, grab a partner, make them laugh. If they don't laugh, you're doing something wrong because a lot of those jokes are great. Go ahead and fart if you're getting desperate," Lucas encouraged. "We'll know that you suck, but at least you'll make it another day in the business. I'll be around to give some tips on delivery if you're dying out there." Or, more likely, he would heckle.
[OOC: Really, he's more throwing them to the students, only a little high. But obviously, feel free to catch or dodge or bat away any joke books. They're small, 100 page softcover things, so they're not going to hurt that bad, even if they do hit....]
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