Ghanima Atreides (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
atreideslioness) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2011-01-05 09:05 am
atreideslioness) wrote in fandomhigh2011-01-05 09:05 am
Entry tags:
What NOT To Do In A Fight / Period III / Week I (Atreides/Deadpool)
Class was meeting - for today - in a standard classroom, instead of the Danger Shop as one might expect.
Deadpool had called dibs on the desk, using it to sit on like he was a politician in a commercial. One of the classy commercials that has the American flag waving in the background and a positive message. Not the ones where you say your opponent kicks babies into rabid puppies.
Because that was just wrong, man.
"Hi kids, I’m Deadpool. You might remember me from the radio. Or the bus. Or that time I thought I was Wolverine and ran around with no arms. That sucked, just so you guys know. Sucked hardcore. Animation changes are hell on you, ya hear me?"
"What my esteemed co-teacher is trying to say is that you also may recognize him as the vice-principal," Ghanima put in dryly. "As he wears many hats, in a metaphorical sense. He really only wears one costume."
No, Wade, that was not an invitation to wear funny hats to work.
"And I am Lady Ghanima Atreides, your other teacher. Some of you have taken my classes previously, but you may call me Lady Ghanima, Miss Ghanima, or Miss Atreides, whatever you are most comfortable with."
Deadpool was totally gonna wear an awesome hat just to spite you, Ghanima. "And this is what not to do in a fight."
Which, it seemed, meant he should lean over and slap Ghanima on the ass.
Ghanima responded instantly by smashing a back-elbow into his face and using her momentum to attempt to grab the back of his costume and throw him over her shoulder and down on to the floor. "Slapping," she said pleasantly. "Is for children throwing a tantrum and men who don't understand how to use their Big Boy Words."
"And chick fights!" Deadpool added from his spot on the floor. "Mmmm. Chick fights."
Ghanima nudged Deadpool with the toe of her boot. "Wade, try to keep your brain at a PG level. We have freshmen in the class."
Hopping back up onto his feet, Deadpool nodded at the class. "So, instead of that boring introduction crap, we’re gonna slap a clown. Because clowns aren’t really people. They’re hollow shells of human beings with no joy who live to strike fear into the minds of children. God, I hate clowns."
"The purpose of this class is to learn what not to do, so you can either get away, or take your opponent down as fast as possible," Ghanima continued, a smile tugging at her lips. "Hence, the clowns. They're going to pop right back up after you slap them, as a demonstration of how ineffective such a technique is."
"So let's move the desks out of the way and get started. If you feel you need a stronger reason why, you may attempt to slap either Deadpool or myself, as we both heal faster than standard humans. But be warned that you may end up bruised and in a humiliating position in front of your classmates for your attempt."
[OCD UP! HIT IT!]
Deadpool had called dibs on the desk, using it to sit on like he was a politician in a commercial. One of the classy commercials that has the American flag waving in the background and a positive message. Not the ones where you say your opponent kicks babies into rabid puppies.
Because that was just wrong, man.
"Hi kids, I’m Deadpool. You might remember me from the radio. Or the bus. Or that time I thought I was Wolverine and ran around with no arms. That sucked, just so you guys know. Sucked hardcore. Animation changes are hell on you, ya hear me?"
"What my esteemed co-teacher is trying to say is that you also may recognize him as the vice-principal," Ghanima put in dryly. "As he wears many hats, in a metaphorical sense. He really only wears one costume."
No, Wade, that was not an invitation to wear funny hats to work.
"And I am Lady Ghanima Atreides, your other teacher. Some of you have taken my classes previously, but you may call me Lady Ghanima, Miss Ghanima, or Miss Atreides, whatever you are most comfortable with."
Deadpool was totally gonna wear an awesome hat just to spite you, Ghanima. "And this is what not to do in a fight."
Which, it seemed, meant he should lean over and slap Ghanima on the ass.
Ghanima responded instantly by smashing a back-elbow into his face and using her momentum to attempt to grab the back of his costume and throw him over her shoulder and down on to the floor. "Slapping," she said pleasantly. "Is for children throwing a tantrum and men who don't understand how to use their Big Boy Words."
"And chick fights!" Deadpool added from his spot on the floor. "Mmmm. Chick fights."
Ghanima nudged Deadpool with the toe of her boot. "Wade, try to keep your brain at a PG level. We have freshmen in the class."
Hopping back up onto his feet, Deadpool nodded at the class. "So, instead of that boring introduction crap, we’re gonna slap a clown. Because clowns aren’t really people. They’re hollow shells of human beings with no joy who live to strike fear into the minds of children. God, I hate clowns."
"The purpose of this class is to learn what not to do, so you can either get away, or take your opponent down as fast as possible," Ghanima continued, a smile tugging at her lips. "Hence, the clowns. They're going to pop right back up after you slap them, as a demonstration of how ineffective such a technique is."
"So let's move the desks out of the way and get started. If you feel you need a stronger reason why, you may attempt to slap either Deadpool or myself, as we both heal faster than standard humans. But be warned that you may end up bruised and in a humiliating position in front of your classmates for your attempt."
[OCD UP! HIT IT!]