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fandomhigh2010-11-30 09:14 am
ivejustinvented.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-11-30 09:14 am
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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 11/30 ].
"Good afternoon, class," said Farnsworth, who was in the mood to just get the torture of having to teach done and out of the way. "Today we're going to be talking about that astronomical anomaly commonly called a Void."
"Sort of like the ones in your heads." Farnsworth turned around, took up his chalk, and went to the blackboard, leaving him entirely uninterrupted while he babbled on and scribbled a lot of calculations and equations and badly drawn diagrams on the board, outside of being physically assaulted from behind, which even then he might still ramble on in a soothing, soporific drone. On the bright side, if you did fall asleep, even if you snored, he'd not even notice. Or care.
He explained on the concept of the Void as a supercluster of stuff that wasn't there, and the void as black hole through which not even light can escape, which might hit a little closer to home. And, even closer still, he talked about the void as a portal into another dimension.
"Sometimes," he said, "the portal will take you somewhere particularly interesting, like, say, oh, I don't know, a resort spa or some fanciful forest with magical creatures and talking animals or heaven with all the angels and crap. More often, though, they're going to lead you someplace stupid, like, oh, just as an example, let's say an high school on an island off the coast of Maryland 990 years in the past."
Ahem.
"Thankfully, there are mathematical equations to help you determine what sort of place your portal is most likely to land you in. Maybe, one day, you too can be a Portalocity center distributor! Wouldn't that be a career that will get you all the ladies, hm? Of course, those Portalocity people are often getting it wrong, because this is not your granddaddy's mathematics, but you're all so smart and ingenious and bushy tailed you'll probably get it all on the first try."
Yeah, right. As Farnsworth launched into actually writing out the complex and nearly nonsensical equations on the board, complete with jumbled, rambling explanations, it was unlikely anyone was to follow, including himself. It only got worse once you started factoring in the infinite variables of possible portal combinations and the science that helped support why your body didn't burst into a thousand scattered particles whenever you traveled by portal.
There was, however, a lovely little story about an incorrect portal that left out two very crucial atoms, and....it was best left to handwaviness in the narrative, as impressionable young minds might be reading this.
And just when you thought he was finished, Farnsworth then added to the lengthy speech with wormholes, oh joy!
Finally, finally, he finished, and yet, somehow, there was still more time left in class. That, thankfully, was another subject on the relativity of time, especially when stuck in a boring class with a crazy professor, for another class. For now, he clapped his hands together and turned to his class with a serene, gassy sort of smile. "What I have today for you is a packet to work these equations and to see what results you get for where the proposed portal will end up. So get your nubile selves up here and get your homework and get to work."
[[ OCD isheading in arrived! ]]
[[ Previous Classes ]]
"Sort of like the ones in your heads." Farnsworth turned around, took up his chalk, and went to the blackboard, leaving him entirely uninterrupted while he babbled on and scribbled a lot of calculations and equations and badly drawn diagrams on the board, outside of being physically assaulted from behind, which even then he might still ramble on in a soothing, soporific drone. On the bright side, if you did fall asleep, even if you snored, he'd not even notice. Or care.
He explained on the concept of the Void as a supercluster of stuff that wasn't there, and the void as black hole through which not even light can escape, which might hit a little closer to home. And, even closer still, he talked about the void as a portal into another dimension.
"Sometimes," he said, "the portal will take you somewhere particularly interesting, like, say, oh, I don't know, a resort spa or some fanciful forest with magical creatures and talking animals or heaven with all the angels and crap. More often, though, they're going to lead you someplace stupid, like, oh, just as an example, let's say an high school on an island off the coast of Maryland 990 years in the past."
Ahem.
"Thankfully, there are mathematical equations to help you determine what sort of place your portal is most likely to land you in. Maybe, one day, you too can be a Portalocity center distributor! Wouldn't that be a career that will get you all the ladies, hm? Of course, those Portalocity people are often getting it wrong, because this is not your granddaddy's mathematics, but you're all so smart and ingenious and bushy tailed you'll probably get it all on the first try."
Yeah, right. As Farnsworth launched into actually writing out the complex and nearly nonsensical equations on the board, complete with jumbled, rambling explanations, it was unlikely anyone was to follow, including himself. It only got worse once you started factoring in the infinite variables of possible portal combinations and the science that helped support why your body didn't burst into a thousand scattered particles whenever you traveled by portal.
There was, however, a lovely little story about an incorrect portal that left out two very crucial atoms, and....it was best left to handwaviness in the narrative, as impressionable young minds might be reading this.
And just when you thought he was finished, Farnsworth then added to the lengthy speech with wormholes, oh joy!
Finally, finally, he finished, and yet, somehow, there was still more time left in class. That, thankfully, was another subject on the relativity of time, especially when stuck in a boring class with a crazy professor, for another class. For now, he clapped his hands together and turned to his class with a serene, gassy sort of smile. "What I have today for you is a packet to work these equations and to see what results you get for where the proposed portal will end up. So get your nubile selves up here and get your homework and get to work."
[[ OCD is
[[ Previous Classes ]]
Portalocity Equations - M.o.Q.N.F., 11/30.
Re: Portalocity Equations - M.o.Q.N.F., 11/30.
I am in Hell. Because I am still in this fucking class and you won't die. Why won't you die? Can I be in a dimension where you're dead? That dimension would not be Hell. That dimension would suck so much less than this one that there would just be free money lying in the streets and people having weird sex orgies. Just to celebrate. Although I think some people will have weird sex orgies for no reason at all. That's not the point.
They also really didn't address the topic. Your point?