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fandomhigh2010-11-03 10:05 pm
worsethanaunts.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-11-03 10:05 pm
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Boom-De-Yada Science - Danger Shop, Wednesday, Period 1 [Week 9]
The Doctor had his arms folded across his chest when the class gathered today. "I trust you all treated your guest teacher well. Though raise your hand if you didn't let your bomb explode fully knowing that you weren't in any harm other than a bit of paint." He waited. "I'm disappointed in you all. Only a little bit, because bombs are never fun when you're the one undoing them, but you all had a chance to experience something in relative safety and some of you chose not to go for the full experience. Experience. Experience. It doesn't even sound like a real word any more. Experience. In case you haven't noticed, that's a good part of the reason behind this class. You learn from experience. You can understand your world, whether it's Earth or Mars or Raxacoricofallapatorious and all of the scientific joys, through experience.
Enough about experience." He stuck out his tongue since it was tangled around the word. "It's lost all meaning. Ah yes. Now. Egypt. That's a country on the African continent that's home to the longest river on the planet, the Nile, and also home to one of the oldest and grandest civilisations in human history. It's also good fodder for horror movies about mummies. Speaking of mummies, we're inside an Egyptian pyramid, so sorry if you're claustrophobic, but there's no quick way out of here other than me pressing a button and letting you out, which isn't going to happen unless you're having a genuine panic attack.
Where was I? Yes. Mummies. Mummies are...well, here's one now." He gestured to the ancient, decrepit mummy standing at the back of the group. "We're inside one of the Egyptian pyramids. You can go to a museum and see how they got the history about them completely wrong if you need to know about them for a history course. Why are we learning about Egyptian mummies? Well, they're interesting. The mummification process is a good example of early embalming practices of societies with primitive technology. The pyramids themselves are architectural marvels. I won't spoil you by telling you who actually built them. It's a good story though. If you want to consider language a science, which it most certainly is by some standards, hieroglyphs on the walls are a fascinating example of what happens when you let inebriated people come up with your written language. At least in my universe. I can't speak for everyone's, but that was a long night and there was an awful lot of beer.
I'm going on. Sorry, Ram," he said to the mummy. "This is King Rameses. One of the King Rameses. There were a lot. It's not important. He's one of the ones that didn't make much lasting contribution to history and that annoys him. He's also been possessed by a life form known as the Krinitos who like to take preserved bodies and use them as walking, grunting shells. By the way, because of the mummification process, he doesn't have any internal organs and he wants yours. Remember what I was saying about experience? This is one of those. You're being chased by a bloodthirsty mummy who wants your guts for his own. Now would be a good time to find a way out of the pyramid. Basically, run!"
And he did just that, leaving the students alone with the staggering mummy.
Enough about experience." He stuck out his tongue since it was tangled around the word. "It's lost all meaning. Ah yes. Now. Egypt. That's a country on the African continent that's home to the longest river on the planet, the Nile, and also home to one of the oldest and grandest civilisations in human history. It's also good fodder for horror movies about mummies. Speaking of mummies, we're inside an Egyptian pyramid, so sorry if you're claustrophobic, but there's no quick way out of here other than me pressing a button and letting you out, which isn't going to happen unless you're having a genuine panic attack.
Where was I? Yes. Mummies. Mummies are...well, here's one now." He gestured to the ancient, decrepit mummy standing at the back of the group. "We're inside one of the Egyptian pyramids. You can go to a museum and see how they got the history about them completely wrong if you need to know about them for a history course. Why are we learning about Egyptian mummies? Well, they're interesting. The mummification process is a good example of early embalming practices of societies with primitive technology. The pyramids themselves are architectural marvels. I won't spoil you by telling you who actually built them. It's a good story though. If you want to consider language a science, which it most certainly is by some standards, hieroglyphs on the walls are a fascinating example of what happens when you let inebriated people come up with your written language. At least in my universe. I can't speak for everyone's, but that was a long night and there was an awful lot of beer.
I'm going on. Sorry, Ram," he said to the mummy. "This is King Rameses. One of the King Rameses. There were a lot. It's not important. He's one of the ones that didn't make much lasting contribution to history and that annoys him. He's also been possessed by a life form known as the Krinitos who like to take preserved bodies and use them as walking, grunting shells. By the way, because of the mummification process, he doesn't have any internal organs and he wants yours. Remember what I was saying about experience? This is one of those. You're being chased by a bloodthirsty mummy who wants your guts for his own. Now would be a good time to find a way out of the pyramid. Basically, run!"
And he did just that, leaving the students alone with the staggering mummy.
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Gather, Mingle, Get Claustrophobic
Re: Gather, Mingle, Get Claustrophobic
RUN!
You are, of course, welcome to find all of this out through trial and error. Lots of error.
Re: RUN!
He hurried through the dusty passages, looking right and left to make sure the mummy hadn't crept up on him. Maybe he should have been looking forward though, because he suddenly found himself in a dead end. With a giant spider behind him.
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You're just making it madder, Raven.
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Of course, he could just try to fight the mummy, but that seemed like sure failure and broke the spirit of the activity.
Just as Bruce was deciding that fleeing at a reasonable pace was the best way out, he heard a "Rrrraaaaaaaaaarrrr" from behind him. The chase was on.
Re: RUN!
It was just, you know, underneath her.
She managed to take the time while falling through the suddenly opening trap door to call the Doctor a nasty name.
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He would have liked time to explore, but it was not to be.
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He found some ceremonial weapons in a treasure chamber and tried those, but the mummy turned out to be, beyond all probability, impervious to cold bronze.
Fine, then.
He stood in front of a particularly solid-looking marble pillar and made faces at it. "COME AND GET ME!"
Talk to the Doctor
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Followed by Abbott & Costello.
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"Kneel! Kneel before the might of Sutekh!"
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