fandomhigh | The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [10/05].

It appeared as though Farnsworth was not planning to waste any time getting into today's lecture. He was clearly a man with something to say, which meant he had to say it quickly before he forgot it.

"Last week," he said, "we talked about things that are bigger than they appear to be. This week, we're covering things that people think are much bigger than they actually are. Universes. Infinity. How much your relationship with your cute new boyfriend matters to the world. And, even more obnoxious and annoying, a parent or guardian's opinion on the significance of their spawn-slash-ward-slash-bastard redheaded stepchild!"

Looks like someone was not exactly pleased with how some of his parents' weekend encounters had gone.

"Now I assume you are all away of the Paradox Theory of Theorums, but let's review. It states that, contrary to popular belief and in able to continue to maintain classical, Oscar-winning motifs, the more someone says something is true, the more likely that it is, in fact, not true, and that the person saying it is a delusional, half-wit crackpt."

Take this class, for example...

"Usually," the Professor ranted on in his usual ramble, "a parent who speaking nothing but bad things about their child actually has a surprisingly bright, ingenuous, and clever little sprogling that will rise up to defy these conventions and succeed in life. Meanwhile, conversely, parents who tout the loudest about how freaking special their little gifted blonde haired golden little half-pints are, George Lass, the more imbecilic and useless they truly turn out to be!"

Not that he was pointing any fingers.

Just ignore the finger that was pointing.

"Now, this isn't always the case. Sometimes, a child deemed worthless really is worthless, and sometimes a gifted progeny does have some talent, but, as you will clearly see, there is a very helpful and easy equation to determine whether a situation falls into the category of the Paradox Theory of Theorem."

So easy, in fact, that it filled up the whole board as Farnsworth explained it.

"So you'll find," said Farnsworth, "that the qualities of offspring compared to their parents' opinions can vary greatly, while, in almost all cases, infomerical products will inevitably fall under the Paradox. Let's take some time to discuss other things that might fit under the Paradox Theory, run it through, and see what we come up with, shall we?"

And, really, if not even on of them managed to bring Farnsworth's sanity up to the plate in some fashion, he'd be utterly disappointed in them. Even if they would be wrong, because Farnsworth certainly never made any claims to being sane.

[[ OCD, ~~it is a coming~~ is one thing that shall never be a paradox, except with the ending of the world. ]]

[[Previous Classes ]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Paradoxically.

Tim Drake

Harper Finkle

Kate Gregson

Chuck Bartowski

Christian

George Lass

Unfortunately, you'll get no bonus points for figuring out that Farnsworth lecture, if applied to the equation, comes up as a Paradox as well.

Because then things just get complicated.

What other things can you think of that might fall under the Paradox Theory of Theorums?

Christian raised a hand halfway. "Would the idea that the more time you spend on something, the worse it gets, and true genius comes in a burst of inspiration, fit with the theorum?"

"Sure it would," said Farnsworth, after a moment of thought and a nod, and he looked almost agreeable to the idea.

For a split second.

"If you're a complete pansy."

Christian sputtered. "How does believing in inspiration make one a complete pansy?"

"Because inspiration is just a word people use when they want to do silly things without a lot of hard work," Farnsworth informed the young man. "I may be inspired to bring about the apocalypse, but without the hard work to make a doomsday device, all it is is a bunch of inspired hogwash."

"I like that," George said. "The next time I'm procrastinating, I'm just going to tell people I'm searching for inspiration."

"Unless you're dealing with our esteemed professor, it should be a perfectly good explanation," Christian grinned. "What's life without inspiration?"

"Pretty dull," George said. She should know. "Is this one of those thinkers-versus-feelers areas? Artists on one side, scientists on the other?"

"I'd believe that," Christian said, glancing over to George. "Are you an artist?"

"Not ... especially," George allowed. "I'm not really much of anything."

Hence Jono lecturing her about the lack of hobbies.

"I play the drums," she said. That was something, right?

"You do?" Christian asked. "That's terribly exciting! In a band, or just for yourself."

"I'm just learning now," she said. "My roommate bought them for me. So ... neither, really. Except he's gonna make me play for something if I can't pay him back. I think he has a band?"

She needed to find someone else on this island who played drums. That would solve her problem.

Christian frowned. "Is your roommate Jono?" he asked. "I think he said -- something -- about his roommate and drums."

"He is," George said suspiciously. "He didn't tell you I was any good at them, did he?"

If he was talking her up like -- like -- whoever really good drummers were supposed to want to be, then she was going to have some very unpleasant words with her roommate.

"I don't think that particular subject came up, no," Christian said. "But I'm supposed to be the singer, so he'd hardly tell me everyone else was horrible."

"Okay," George said. "Just so you know: your drummer is only there out of a sense of obligation, and doesn't actually know how to play the drums."

She was learning, but slowly.

"You sing?"

"I sing," Christian agreed. "And sometime when we aren't in class, I'll even let you hear me sing."

"I'd like that," she smiled. Cute guy wanting to sing for her? Yes, please.

George was going to ignore the lecture whatever and get straight to the interesting stuff.

"Rube said that?" Because generally, to her face, Rube called her a shit-disturber.

Of course, if he really thought she was a fuck-up, he would just call her a fuck-up. Like he did with Mason. Constantly.

Edited 2010-10-05 21:23 (UTC)

Farnsworth shrugged. "I don't know; I sort of stopped paying attention once he started going in on responsibility and teaching and other such nonsense."

Although why you would ever want to is a paradox in itself, surely.

My greatest apologies to George-mun for not being able to finish my Parents' Weekend thread, but still exploiting it shamelessly for class.

I guess that's just how I roll, bb.

Is fine, bb. Noah was rocking the Rube this weekend -- I wasn't brave enough to take on his voice. And class made me snort something.

The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [10/05].

Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/05.

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Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/05.

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Talk to Farnsworth -- Mo.Q.N.F., 10/05.

OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 10/05.

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