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fandomhigh2010-09-21 08:06 am
ivejustinvented.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-09-21 08:06 am
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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [09/21].
The class should be feeling glad that, today, they were back in the classroom. Shouldn't they?
"Good news, everyones!" Farnsworth greeted the class in an unusually pleasant tone. "Today we're going to be talking about doubles. Or even triples, quadruples and so on into infiniuples. Last week, in the belly of the Zone Eater, some of you may have encountered a mimic, which copies a person's general make up, but it is all a mere illusion. Doubles, on the other hand, are you, almost exactly, with only minute differences in the genetic make-up of the time-space continuum that may or may not heavily effect how their personality or other contributions differs from yours. There is typically believed to be three different kind of doubles: clones, robots, or long-lost twin. There are branches of the latter one, into good twin or bad twin. And, of course, unless you've been living under a rock in a misconstrued attempt to avoid the pain of puberty, you know that the Fandom universe adds another category of double, due a principle I like to call the That Jerk With My Face Syndrome.
"The mathematical equation for how to determine whether your double is a clone, robot, or long lost twin was invented in the year 2456 by a man named Doctor Adolphus Dinghörner, and it's actually quite simple. Simple enough that perhaps even all of you could even make a decent hack of it. You see, there are infinite universes out there with infinite possibilities; the smallest little detail could change everything dramatically, and part of the point of the mathematics of quantum neutrino fields is to discover how to calculate those differences and then use them to cause the most sufficient amount of mayhem and or confusion.
"Now here is how it works." Farnsworth turned to the board and began to write down the equation as he spoke. "You start with the base number of how many there are, which is most commonly two, but, on occasion, there's such a flux in the universes or even a whole situation with certain universe-containing boxes, where various forms of individuals may be in the same room at the same time, increasing this base number. Add that to a fraction dividing the difference in height by the difference in weight, and then multiply by the appearance of any differing birth marks, moles, or questionable liver spots. You then divide that number by the square root of any changes in vocal range. Finally, add in the differences in hair, eye, and skin color, subtracted by any differences in gender. Don't forget any floating participle factors of sexual preference, occupational tendencies, and ultimate goals. For the situation of long-lost twins, you must also remember to factor in this additional facial hair ratio and refer to the evil laugh matrix to determine whether it is a good twin or a bad twin.
"You'll also note that Doctor Dinghörner's equations does not take into place the phenomenon of Fandom Doubles, because this is a most interesting situation that seems to occur almost exclusively on the island. So, of course, I now introduce you to my latest creation: I've just invented the Farnsworth Theorum of Fandom Doubles. To determine if your double might simply be a Fandom Double, you simply add to the end of your Dinghörner equation a section of dividing the likelihood of such a duplication in your own personal world by the percentage of obscurity, multiplied by the level of fangirl to fanwank ratio. You can discover this ratio by referring to a separate equation that takes into consideration the deepness of cheekbones multiplied by the possibility of flowing hair divided by a percentage of effortless sexual tension.
"So, like I said, easy enough, even a trained monkey or a high school student could figure it out! Of course, one could also attempt to deduce whether a double is a clone, robot, long-lost twin, or Fandom double through merely investigating the individual and making a scientific guess as to its category, but, obviously, such methods are for amateurs and hacks, and the equation is the only way to discern a definitive scientific answer."
"If there aren't any questions, I'd like you all to spend some time with some doubles to determine the factors needed to fill in the equations and determine whether or not they are your clone, robot, long-lost twin, or Fandom double. Before you leave today, please grab one of the worksheets on my desk. Your homework for the week is to apply this equation to your friends and determine if they, too, have any clones, robots, long-lost twins, or Fandom doubles."
[[ OCD ison the way! ]]
[[ Previous Classes ]]
"Good news, everyones!" Farnsworth greeted the class in an unusually pleasant tone. "Today we're going to be talking about doubles. Or even triples, quadruples and so on into infiniuples. Last week, in the belly of the Zone Eater, some of you may have encountered a mimic, which copies a person's general make up, but it is all a mere illusion. Doubles, on the other hand, are you, almost exactly, with only minute differences in the genetic make-up of the time-space continuum that may or may not heavily effect how their personality or other contributions differs from yours. There is typically believed to be three different kind of doubles: clones, robots, or long-lost twin. There are branches of the latter one, into good twin or bad twin. And, of course, unless you've been living under a rock in a misconstrued attempt to avoid the pain of puberty, you know that the Fandom universe adds another category of double, due a principle I like to call the That Jerk With My Face Syndrome.
"The mathematical equation for how to determine whether your double is a clone, robot, or long lost twin was invented in the year 2456 by a man named Doctor Adolphus Dinghörner, and it's actually quite simple. Simple enough that perhaps even all of you could even make a decent hack of it. You see, there are infinite universes out there with infinite possibilities; the smallest little detail could change everything dramatically, and part of the point of the mathematics of quantum neutrino fields is to discover how to calculate those differences and then use them to cause the most sufficient amount of mayhem and or confusion.
"Now here is how it works." Farnsworth turned to the board and began to write down the equation as he spoke. "You start with the base number of how many there are, which is most commonly two, but, on occasion, there's such a flux in the universes or even a whole situation with certain universe-containing boxes, where various forms of individuals may be in the same room at the same time, increasing this base number. Add that to a fraction dividing the difference in height by the difference in weight, and then multiply by the appearance of any differing birth marks, moles, or questionable liver spots. You then divide that number by the square root of any changes in vocal range. Finally, add in the differences in hair, eye, and skin color, subtracted by any differences in gender. Don't forget any floating participle factors of sexual preference, occupational tendencies, and ultimate goals. For the situation of long-lost twins, you must also remember to factor in this additional facial hair ratio and refer to the evil laugh matrix to determine whether it is a good twin or a bad twin.
"You'll also note that Doctor Dinghörner's equations does not take into place the phenomenon of Fandom Doubles, because this is a most interesting situation that seems to occur almost exclusively on the island. So, of course, I now introduce you to my latest creation: I've just invented the Farnsworth Theorum of Fandom Doubles. To determine if your double might simply be a Fandom Double, you simply add to the end of your Dinghörner equation a section of dividing the likelihood of such a duplication in your own personal world by the percentage of obscurity, multiplied by the level of fangirl to fanwank ratio. You can discover this ratio by referring to a separate equation that takes into consideration the deepness of cheekbones multiplied by the possibility of flowing hair divided by a percentage of effortless sexual tension.
"So, like I said, easy enough, even a trained monkey or a high school student could figure it out! Of course, one could also attempt to deduce whether a double is a clone, robot, long-lost twin, or Fandom double through merely investigating the individual and making a scientific guess as to its category, but, obviously, such methods are for amateurs and hacks, and the equation is the only way to discern a definitive scientific answer."
"If there aren't any questions, I'd like you all to spend some time with some doubles to determine the factors needed to fill in the equations and determine whether or not they are your clone, robot, long-lost twin, or Fandom double. Before you leave today, please grab one of the worksheets on my desk. Your homework for the week is to apply this equation to your friends and determine if they, too, have any clones, robots, long-lost twins, or Fandom doubles."
[[ OCD is
[[ Previous Classes ]]
Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
"Great," she said. "So you're supposed to be me."
(STEAL MY ICONS. BE SHAMELESS. DOOOOO IT.)
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
"I was here first," she snapped. "You're the ... clone, or double, or whatever."
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
And only do half as many reaps!
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Because, seriously, why was she coming to class?
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
"You really think I'm gonna do that equation?"
If she cared so much, she could do it her own damn self. She was the smart one, right?
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
"Holy shit," she said. "He really doesn't read any of this, does he?"
Epiphany, table of one!
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Re: Speak with your Double -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.
Talk to Farnsworth -- Mo.Q.N.F., 09/21.
OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 09/21.