Reno of the Turks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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fandomhigh2010-08-31 08:50 am
raspberryturk) wrote in fandomhigh2010-08-31 08:50 am
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Unconventional Tactics, Tuesday, Period 2
Today, Reno hadn't set up any big, dramatic Danger Shop scenario that was intended to scare the pants off of the other students. Nope. Today, the Danger Shop was set up to look like a nice, normal classroom.
Full of wee, teeny, fluffy little bunnies. Please don't sit on them. They're too cute to die.
"Yo, rookies!" Reno gave the population of the classroom at large a grin and gestured to the seats that were set out before them. "Welcome to Unconventional Tactics, yo! I'm gonna skip the introduction crap for a few minutes, so I can let you all in on what this class is gonna be about."
He picked up a bunny and held it up for the class. It made big, adorable baby bunny eyes at them all, awwww.
"Sometimes, things invade this island. Those of you who ain't new know that much well enough, but I got a couple new faces in here too, so I'm gonna explain real slow-like, and maybe you won't think I'm completely friggin' nuts before it actually happens around here. See, Fandom Island, it ain't normal. Some days, they go by perfectly natural as you please, sure. And then some days, you wake up to shit."
That was the technical term. 'Wake up to shit.'
"I'm gonna break it up into three- Nah, into four categories, yo. Harmless, trouble, lethal, and what the hell." Again, technical terms. Take notes, kids. "First of those, harmless, is what you walked into here. We're goin' with weetiny bunny invasion, because... Weetiny bunnies. They can be interchangeable with little donkeys or elephants, miniature sheep, toy-sized soldiers... Anything that you can blink at an' go, 'Well, shit, that's weird,' and then keep goin' on your day around. Maybe they get annoying, because let's face it, they're small and underfoot all friggin' day, but they ain't hurtin' nothin', and they'll probably be gone on their own before you wake up the next mornin', yo."
He put the bunny down, grinned at the class, and clapped his hands. Thank you, Danger Shop, now all of the bunnies... weren't. Or, rather, they were still bunnies, yes, but now they had a look in their eye.
"You wanna keep outta the reach of these ones," Reno noted. "Here's your next level, yo. Here, we got Trouble."
He reached for a pencil, and moved to poke the rabbit that he'd set on the desk with it. It made a growl in the depths of its throat, and then it launched itself at the pencil, reducing it to splinters with razor-sharp bunny fangs of doom in about two seconds flat. Reno, fortunately, was too fast for it, pulling his hand back in a blur that was too fast to be natural, and then holding up his hand. All of the evil bunnies in the room, which had been silently advancing on the students, ground to a total stop.
Ah, how he loved pause.
"Trouble, you might think is harmless, at a glance. The island likes to play with your heads that way sometimes. You walk outside, and the ten adorable friggin' rabbits you're lookin' at all launch themselves at you and try to rip off your friggin' arms. Or you open the fridge, and evil vegetables come fallin' out. Or there are harpies chillin' out on the roof, and they wanna throw shit," this was not in the most vague sense. Harpies really did throw shit, "at you and maybe claw out your eyes for fun. We get that now an' then. It's easy enough to avoid, yo. Stay inside. The dangerous stuff usually don't hit inside the dorms. But it's somethin' that can be fought off. Give the fighters on the island a day with it, and it'll take off for the hills by nightfall. All you really gotta worry about is bein' careful."
He grinned. "Look down." And, if students did, they would see that they, for just that moment, seemed to be the gender opposite of what they might normally be used to. It wasn't real, it was simply Danger Shop illusion, but it was probably damn convincing. Especially since Reno was what he'd like to refer to as the Hottest Lesbian Ever when they looked up again.
"This is your what-the-hell level," he shared, winking at the class, and then holding up his hand again, so that everything returned to normal. "It ain't necessarily an invasion, but it's friggin' weird. I'm only includin' that one so that you know, Fandom is capable of breakin' reality just to mess with you. That's half the island's charm. And stuff like that? Like wakin' up with the wrong plumbing or as somebody else entirely... That shit can follow you home." And it had been fun to torment the boss with his cleavage that one day, too, yes. "Ain't gonna hurt nothin', but you wanna be prepared for that, yo."
And then, with a wave of his hand, the room was all harmless bunnies again.
"The last one, Lethal, is the one that the rest of the semester is gonna focus on. This ain't the stuff that you're gonna wanna laugh off later. This is the nightmares. This is the stone angels with fangs that haunt you in your sleep two years later, this is the zombie infestation that turned you an' half your friends into meat-hungry corpses. This is the time Hades tried to turn the island into Hell, or a few weeks ago, when reality itself started to break. This is the one that you're gonna need help for, because there ain't one of you that can handle it alone."
He looked over the class, and then nodded a little.
"Rest of the period, introductions. Name, grade, and one invasion that you saw or heard about, either here on the island or back home. I'm Reno, I'm teachin' you, and I think you already got an idea about the invasions I been through, yo."
He picked up a bunny, set it in his lap, and grinned, pointing at Chloe and Jacobif they were there. "Rookie Junior, Jake, you're with me this semester. The rest of you? Get to it, yo."
[Wait for the OCD or the bunnies will eat you! OCD is up! Roster and syllabus are here!]
Full of wee, teeny, fluffy little bunnies. Please don't sit on them. They're too cute to die.
"Yo, rookies!" Reno gave the population of the classroom at large a grin and gestured to the seats that were set out before them. "Welcome to Unconventional Tactics, yo! I'm gonna skip the introduction crap for a few minutes, so I can let you all in on what this class is gonna be about."
He picked up a bunny and held it up for the class. It made big, adorable baby bunny eyes at them all, awwww.
"Sometimes, things invade this island. Those of you who ain't new know that much well enough, but I got a couple new faces in here too, so I'm gonna explain real slow-like, and maybe you won't think I'm completely friggin' nuts before it actually happens around here. See, Fandom Island, it ain't normal. Some days, they go by perfectly natural as you please, sure. And then some days, you wake up to shit."
That was the technical term. 'Wake up to shit.'
"I'm gonna break it up into three- Nah, into four categories, yo. Harmless, trouble, lethal, and what the hell." Again, technical terms. Take notes, kids. "First of those, harmless, is what you walked into here. We're goin' with weetiny bunny invasion, because... Weetiny bunnies. They can be interchangeable with little donkeys or elephants, miniature sheep, toy-sized soldiers... Anything that you can blink at an' go, 'Well, shit, that's weird,' and then keep goin' on your day around. Maybe they get annoying, because let's face it, they're small and underfoot all friggin' day, but they ain't hurtin' nothin', and they'll probably be gone on their own before you wake up the next mornin', yo."
He put the bunny down, grinned at the class, and clapped his hands. Thank you, Danger Shop, now all of the bunnies... weren't. Or, rather, they were still bunnies, yes, but now they had a look in their eye.
"You wanna keep outta the reach of these ones," Reno noted. "Here's your next level, yo. Here, we got Trouble."
He reached for a pencil, and moved to poke the rabbit that he'd set on the desk with it. It made a growl in the depths of its throat, and then it launched itself at the pencil, reducing it to splinters with razor-sharp bunny fangs of doom in about two seconds flat. Reno, fortunately, was too fast for it, pulling his hand back in a blur that was too fast to be natural, and then holding up his hand. All of the evil bunnies in the room, which had been silently advancing on the students, ground to a total stop.
Ah, how he loved pause.
"Trouble, you might think is harmless, at a glance. The island likes to play with your heads that way sometimes. You walk outside, and the ten adorable friggin' rabbits you're lookin' at all launch themselves at you and try to rip off your friggin' arms. Or you open the fridge, and evil vegetables come fallin' out. Or there are harpies chillin' out on the roof, and they wanna throw shit," this was not in the most vague sense. Harpies really did throw shit, "at you and maybe claw out your eyes for fun. We get that now an' then. It's easy enough to avoid, yo. Stay inside. The dangerous stuff usually don't hit inside the dorms. But it's somethin' that can be fought off. Give the fighters on the island a day with it, and it'll take off for the hills by nightfall. All you really gotta worry about is bein' careful."
He grinned. "Look down." And, if students did, they would see that they, for just that moment, seemed to be the gender opposite of what they might normally be used to. It wasn't real, it was simply Danger Shop illusion, but it was probably damn convincing. Especially since Reno was what he'd like to refer to as the Hottest Lesbian Ever when they looked up again.
"This is your what-the-hell level," he shared, winking at the class, and then holding up his hand again, so that everything returned to normal. "It ain't necessarily an invasion, but it's friggin' weird. I'm only includin' that one so that you know, Fandom is capable of breakin' reality just to mess with you. That's half the island's charm. And stuff like that? Like wakin' up with the wrong plumbing or as somebody else entirely... That shit can follow you home." And it had been fun to torment the boss with his cleavage that one day, too, yes. "Ain't gonna hurt nothin', but you wanna be prepared for that, yo."
And then, with a wave of his hand, the room was all harmless bunnies again.
"The last one, Lethal, is the one that the rest of the semester is gonna focus on. This ain't the stuff that you're gonna wanna laugh off later. This is the nightmares. This is the stone angels with fangs that haunt you in your sleep two years later, this is the zombie infestation that turned you an' half your friends into meat-hungry corpses. This is the time Hades tried to turn the island into Hell, or a few weeks ago, when reality itself started to break. This is the one that you're gonna need help for, because there ain't one of you that can handle it alone."
He looked over the class, and then nodded a little.
"Rest of the period, introductions. Name, grade, and one invasion that you saw or heard about, either here on the island or back home. I'm Reno, I'm teachin' you, and I think you already got an idea about the invasions I been through, yo."
He picked up a bunny, set it in his lap, and grinned, pointing at Chloe and Jacob
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