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fandomhigh2010-08-13 12:03 pm
saltandammo.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-08-13 12:03 pm
Entry tags:
Dating, Hooking Up and Sex, Class 6, Friday period 3
While Dean was grateful that all the various forms of protections on the house had kept it bug free, he still had to walk through town to get to the school and so got more of an earful than he ever wanted. It set his teeth on edge and made him just a little out of sorts when he began today's lecture. "So today we're looking at complications that can come up in the pursuit of dating and/or sex. Specifically the kinds of weird complications that happen in Fandom that don't happen anywhere else.
"Things like an infestation of bugs that serenade you and not even with good music. It's hard to get into the mood when all you really want to do is grab an industrial sized can of RAID and get to work.
"As well, there's also the random transformations. For some reason, people seem to randomly turn into animals around here. For example, when I gave this class last session, my brother Sammy was a yak. Which unless his boyfriend was into yak fucking, seriously put a crimp into any romantic plans he had that weekend.
"There's also mental transformations to look out for -- you lose your memory or think you're someone else, and suddenly you're declaring your love for someone's two year old sister who has inexplicably become a teenager for the weekend.
"Things like gremlin bites or weird cookies can lead to mortifyingly embarrassing behaviour like breaking into song randomly and putting more product in your hair than should be humanly possible. Or to sleeping with someone you only think you know. Which can lead to complications like your girlfriend hitting you in the head with a frying pan. So avoid weird cookies. I'm just saying.
"And sometimes it's your normal sexlife that ends up feeling scarifying if the transformation that you are going through is extreme enough. I mean, when you suddenly find yourself a 12 inch plastic doll version of yourself, a normal vibrator can seem less like a sex toy and more like some kind of weird bucking bronco ride.
"But no matter what it is, the trick is to just ride it out and try not to die of embarrassment afterwards. It helps to have a sense of humor about these things. Or be really good at repressing.
"Not all Fandom curveballs are bad though. Next week, we'll be looking at ones that can actually help your sex life.
"And speaking of sextoys, like we were a moment ago, I know that things were all crazy last week so I'm giving you an extension on your assignment. Consider it part of your final evaluation now. Bring in two sextoys -- one that's retailed as such, and one you made from things in your room." He grinned. "If you missed last week's class and want me to go over the basics of it for you again, just ask."
"Things like an infestation of bugs that serenade you and not even with good music. It's hard to get into the mood when all you really want to do is grab an industrial sized can of RAID and get to work.
"As well, there's also the random transformations. For some reason, people seem to randomly turn into animals around here. For example, when I gave this class last session, my brother Sammy was a yak. Which unless his boyfriend was into yak fucking, seriously put a crimp into any romantic plans he had that weekend.
"There's also mental transformations to look out for -- you lose your memory or think you're someone else, and suddenly you're declaring your love for someone's two year old sister who has inexplicably become a teenager for the weekend.
"Things like gremlin bites or weird cookies can lead to mortifyingly embarrassing behaviour like breaking into song randomly and putting more product in your hair than should be humanly possible. Or to sleeping with someone you only think you know. Which can lead to complications like your girlfriend hitting you in the head with a frying pan. So avoid weird cookies. I'm just saying.
"And sometimes it's your normal sexlife that ends up feeling scarifying if the transformation that you are going through is extreme enough. I mean, when you suddenly find yourself a 12 inch plastic doll version of yourself, a normal vibrator can seem less like a sex toy and more like some kind of weird bucking bronco ride.
"But no matter what it is, the trick is to just ride it out and try not to die of embarrassment afterwards. It helps to have a sense of humor about these things. Or be really good at repressing.
"Not all Fandom curveballs are bad though. Next week, we'll be looking at ones that can actually help your sex life.
"And speaking of sextoys, like we were a moment ago, I know that things were all crazy last week so I'm giving you an extension on your assignment. Consider it part of your final evaluation now. Bring in two sextoys -- one that's retailed as such, and one you made from things in your room." He grinned. "If you missed last week's class and want me to go over the basics of it for you again, just ask."
Work on your assignment
Re: Work on your assignment
Re: Work on your assignment
...The Fusion Blades were too big. And weren't even in his room. Actually what was on his room? That place couldn't get more spartan if you removed the bed.