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fandomhigh2010-07-29 05:08 am
ivejustinvented.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-07-29 05:08 am
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Inventing for Dummies; Sixth Period, Thursday [ 07/29 ].
"Hello, class that's only slightly less cumbersome than my other class," Farnsworth said once the hour had begun, always one for a great opening. "Today we're going to be talking about the second best thing about inventing, and that's the money. The first, as I'm sure you all know, is the power. You can take over the world with the right invention. Or the wrong invention. It's all how you market it."
"So your assignment for today is to show me something you've invented and try to market it. With the right marketing, you can brainwash millions of people into thinking they need your invention, or even just your service. It could be something like, oh, I don't know, underwear, or dog make-up, or the ever useful electric frankfurter. But it's all in how you sell it! Let me give you an example. I'll play for you two advertisements ran for my shipping company, Planet Express, you tell me which one makes you want to invest in the product more."
"First, my advertisement." With the click of a button and a dimming of the lights, a video began to play on the wall.
"And now, some other advertisement made by some punk in suspenders." Click, and the second advertisement played.
Then the lights went back up. "Now, if you said the first one, congratulations, I'm not going to fail you out of spite. If you said the second one, then you're a greased-up, gel-haired yuppie and I hope you die of boneitus. You have no boxes today, just a lot of random crap to work with. Find a way to invent something interesting out of some of it and then put together a schpiel that will make me want to get off my lazy ass and out of my recliner to spend my ill-gotten gains on your crappy product."
And, for the purposes of the class, Farnsworth actually had brought in a La-Z-Boy, sat down, propped up his slippered feet, and got comfortable. "Go on," he waved a hand, "you haven't got all day. I have my weekly bowel movement scheduled at the end of class."
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"So your assignment for today is to show me something you've invented and try to market it. With the right marketing, you can brainwash millions of people into thinking they need your invention, or even just your service. It could be something like, oh, I don't know, underwear, or dog make-up, or the ever useful electric frankfurter. But it's all in how you sell it! Let me give you an example. I'll play for you two advertisements ran for my shipping company, Planet Express, you tell me which one makes you want to invest in the product more."
"First, my advertisement." With the click of a button and a dimming of the lights, a video began to play on the wall.
"And now, some other advertisement made by some punk in suspenders." Click, and the second advertisement played.
Then the lights went back up. "Now, if you said the first one, congratulations, I'm not going to fail you out of spite. If you said the second one, then you're a greased-up, gel-haired yuppie and I hope you die of boneitus. You have no boxes today, just a lot of random crap to work with. Find a way to invent something interesting out of some of it and then put together a schpiel that will make me want to get off my lazy ass and out of my recliner to spend my ill-gotten gains on your crappy product."
And, for the purposes of the class, Farnsworth actually had brought in a La-Z-Boy, sat down, propped up his slippered feet, and got comfortable. "Go on," he waved a hand, "you haven't got all day. I have my weekly bowel movement scheduled at the end of class."
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[[ Class Roster and Syllabus ]] [[ Previous Classes ]]