fandomhigh | Breaking the Glass Ceiling, Tuesday

"All right, children," Kerrigan said, standing straight up in front of the class. "Today's your last class in this module. I hope it's been a little educational." The corners of her long lips tilted up a little bit. "What we've been talking about is the essence of how to deal with a world that's pitched against you. I hope by now you've also gotten the idea that trolling message boards and getting indignant is fun, but it won't help you get by."

God only knew how little being indignant had done for her.

"Sometimes you have to get dirty," she said. "Messy. Foul. When you're at the bottom, you have very little left to lose but your own life - use that. After all, no one is going to give you any respect if you keep your head down solely to make sure you don't get stomped on."

"But that obviously makes this a little... complicated," she continued. "Keep in mind that everyone and anyone can try to use who you are against you, even when they don't mean to. Even when they're friends, or you think they're friends, even if you think you have an insight as to who they are and what they do. Some of you know this. Others..."

She raked her eyes over several members of her audience. "I want you to tell me now how you plan to fight. If you plan to fight. Why you do. Because there's nothing I can tell you that's a magical fix-it. Some of you are going to get kicked down without a single thought into your head as to how things might get better. Trust me. It can happen to anyone. Anyone at all. No matter how... noble... you think you are."

Her mouth evened out. "Go ahead and talk," she said. "If I see any of you in my class next semester... there will be a lot less of that-- so do get it all out now."

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Helen had been thinking about this very thing. If her people didn't want her anymore, why should she go back? Why should she fight to be part of an organization that didn't want her and a world where women were considered second class citizens - little better than slaves?

"I believe I need to find a place for myself here or in another world. There is nothing left for me back home."

"Build your own little palace?" Kerrigan asked, lifting a brow. "An empire away from home...? How do you plan to find one of those, little Helen?"

"I don't want a palace or an empire," Helen said quietly. It hurt that Kerrigan would think that was why she'd wanted to return home. "I just want a place where I belong. Where I can do something useful and not be treated like a freak."

Her father's words, abomination, were in her mind once more despite her efforts to shut it out.

And had this been two years ago, there might have been a chance, however small, that Kerrigan would have apologised for her choice of words.

But it wasn't, and Kerrigan regarded her coolly. "You're going to need a lot of castle walls to manage that," she said, "And a spot close enough to the sun to stay away from the animals."

"Why? Most normal people don't," Helen argued. "Why can't I find a place of my own?"

Animals she didn't have to worry about. She could control those if she needed to.

It was a metaphor, but-- eh. She wasn't going to explain it.

"Because a lot of people will think that because you're special, you're a prize to be owned."

"No one's ever cared about that before," Helen pointed out. "They were all very happy to throw me away."

"After use."

Oh sure, bring that gently, Kerrigan.

"So what are the odds I fill some other world's prophecy?" Helen said bitterly. "If the priests believed that I'm sure they'd have kept me to bargain with."

They'd thrown her away even before they used her, simply because she'd seen the demons, Them, and asked about them. And then after... Well, they'd certainly be quick to exile her once more with the pretense that she might be welcome back later. But since she wasn't even allowed back on breaks... she was coming to understand the truth.

And all she wanted was to belong somewhere. Was that really too much to ask?

Breaking the Glass Ceiling, Tuesday

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